max374 Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 I conversed with my ex for the first time since the breakup the other day. I have been NC since the breakup and am completely over her and completely indifferent to her. We discussed being friendly/civil towards each other because grad party season is approaching and we have a lot of mutual friends. Were both in high school and have classes together and haven't really made eye contact since the breakup. She thought it would be weird for me because she moved onto somebody (an ex friend) right after the BU and i told her that in all honestly I don't care at all because I'm completely over her. And I actually really don't care. There was no compassion on her side at all during the discussion which comes as no surprise as she really never considered my feelings/ showed any compassion during and after the breakup (She broke up with me in a very public setting). It took this discussion for me to realize that she's an ******* who doesn't care about anybody else. We kind of mutually reached out towards each other because we didn't want the tension between us to make it weird for our friends (even I don't care about their feelings in this regard). She has showed no compassion towards me and many people (my friends/her friends) have a lot of resentment towards her because of how she broke up with me and what she did after the breakup (which is an entirely different story). I'm happy that I conversed with her because it helped me realize that she has no compassion and that there's no point of being friends with her (I'm a nice guy so I'll be civil/friendly). Is there a way I should approach the situation from here and did I do the right thing? 1
KaliLove Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 Yes. You can approach the situation by not talking to her again. If you see her, just be polite and walk away as soon as possible. Also, don't use the word converse. Just say talk. You seem to be pretty ok with everything. That's great. I'm sure you'll find a new chick really quickly.
ahthepain Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 Glad you felt nothing towards them and it wasn't at all painful. Can I ask 1) How long was your relationship for? 2) How long ago did it end? 3) What were you like the weeks following the break up, how did you handle it? 4) How long did it take you before you were indifferent? Thanks
Natsume21 Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 If what you say is true, congrats. But the thing is, once you become indifferent, you kinda realize they suck as friends and you don't want anything to do with them. One of the reasons why I don't contact my ex when im over her: She does nothing for me and with your age, you can find healthier friends. 1
organizedchaos Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 If what you say is true, congrats. But the thing is, once you become indifferent, you kinda realize they suck as friends and you don't want anything to do with them. One of the reasons why I don't contact my ex when im over her: She does nothing for me and with your age, you can find healthier friends. Exactly. You wouldn't be friends with a regular friend who hurt you deeply. Trust is gone. So why would I want to be friends with an ex? 3
Author max374 Posted May 10, 2014 Author Posted May 10, 2014 @ahthepain It was a six month relationship that ended a little over 2 months ago. It was essentially my first real breakup (I've had things with people but never been official with anybody until her) and I didn't really know how to handle it. I really, really liked her and was so heartbroken when she broke up with me. I handled it the wrong way and I completely regret it. I talked a lot of smack about her (because she did some very inappropriate things right after the breakup. Essentially moved on in a day. Sent out nude photos of herself the day after. Completely ridiculous. She lost an obscene amount of friends and respect because of it). So clearly I was beyond hurt and said a lot of bad things about her, which I regret doing. It took me just over a month and a half to get over. I moved in quickly because I realized how disgusting and immoral she was. I was too in love with her during the relationship to actually realize her true characteristics but after everything came to fruition, I was able to move on completely
Elle1975 Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 @ahthepain It was a six month relationship that ended a little over 2 months ago. It was essentially my first real breakup (I've had things with people but never been official with anybody until her) and I didn't really know how to handle it. I really, really liked her and was so heartbroken when she broke up with me. I handled it the wrong way and I completely regret it. I talked a lot of smack about her (because she did some very inappropriate things right after the breakup. Essentially moved on in a day. Sent out nude photos of herself the day after. Completely ridiculous. She lost an obscene amount of friends and respect because of it). So clearly I was beyond hurt and said a lot of bad things about her, which I regret doing. It took me just over a month and a half to get over. I moved in quickly because I realized how disgusting and immoral she was. I was too in love with her during the relationship to actually realize her true characteristics but after everything came to fruition, I was able to move on completely Well then, I wouldn't bother talking to her again. Having this conversation was just a confirmation of the way she is, of the way she makes you feel, etc.. If anything, now that you have had your first real relationship, you can move on to greener pastures knowing what you want out of a relationship, out of the person you're dating. I realized, a bit late, that yes, I can be picky with who I want to be with and what I want out of a relationship. So do the same. In the meantime, I'll take care of my friends, family, and myself. Same for you. On a side note.. while I'm open minded when it comes to sex, I would never in a million years send naked pics of me. Blah
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