cshim Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 For the past few months I've been hanging out with a Japanese girl in Tokyo. We originally started meeting for language exchange so no formal dates or anything but I think we really click: lots of common interests, great conversations, and we've been meeting more frequently. It's hard to grasp how Japanese actually feel about many things since they're notoriously indirect with emotions but I get the sense that we genuinely enjoy each other's company. There are, however, occasional lapses in communication that confuse me. For example, I recently texted her asking if she wanted to hang out on Saturday and she waited two days before replying she already had already made plans. Then offered to meet on Sunday but when I replied she said she'd already made plans then as well. Recently I've also been trying to express my interest through subtle gestures like saying her name more often, gently tapping her arm/shoulder, and complimenting her more often (though not on her appearance--she is gorgeous, though). But she hasn't really reciprocated the name-calling and touching, which for me are important methods of flirting. Is there any reliable way for me to gauge her interest? And should I be doing anything in particular to express my interest? I'm wary of being overly aggressive and want to make sure I'm being respectful. I also don't know any of her friends so I can't go the 3rd party route. If it's important, we're both 23 and working full-time jobs. Any advice, tips, or anecdotes would be welcome. Thanks for the feedback!
Gaeta Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 I know someone who's been living in Japan for many years and I have learn from her that the dating world over there is completely different then how the western world works in that department. I don't think we can advice you properly. We may suggest something that would turn her off instead of helping. Hopefully there is someone on here that understand Japan's culture and can help. If not be careful to apply advices you may get on here.
Author cshim Posted May 9, 2014 Author Posted May 9, 2014 Thanks for the consideration. Japan's definitely different from the US but perhaps my post implies I'm making false generalizations. I have met girls here who are very big on touching, wish is my most reliable method for flirting, and one thing has led to another. She seems a bit shier than some other girls I've been around but she's far smarter and more interesting. So really, any advice would be welcome regardless of your knowledge of Japan/Japanese. I'll do my best to consider the wisdom of any tips in the context of my circumstances. Just looking for some outside perspective because I tend to over-analyze these situations.
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