budley12 Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 Hey everyone, I have been in a same sex relationship with my partner for almost two years now. We have been living with each other for about a year, and I am getting a relationship visa with this person to live in another country. My partner cheated on me while we were living apart (10 months ago), but I am attempting to forive him. Things have been going great, however a few weeks ago he started to become friends with another gay male that he met on a dating website. My partner claims he is strictly looking for friends, nothing more. My partner and this other guy have now gotten coffee together, they have long conversations on Facebook, and my partner always gets defensive when I bring him up. Should I be worried? How should I approach this if it bothers me (should it bother me)
soccerrprp Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 It should bother you a lot! 1. He gets defensive... 2. He's cheated on you before... 3. He met him on a dating site... If only friends, he shouldn't have a problem you meeting him. Meet him. After all, if you two are serious, your bf should be thrilled to have you meet his "friends."
PegNosePete Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 Who on earth looks for friends on a dating site? It's a pretty feeble excuse IMO, you've been led up the garden path and believed his BS hook line and sinker... Time to cut this one loose.
Zahara Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 (edited) Hey everyone, I have been in a same sex relationship with my partner for almost two years now. We have been living with each other for about a year, and I am getting a relationship visa with this person to live in another country. My partner cheated on me while we were living apart (10 months ago), but I am attempting to forive him. Things have been going great, however a few weeks ago he started to become friends with another gay male that he met on a dating website. My partner claims he is strictly looking for friends, nothing more. My partner and this other guy have now gotten coffee together, they have long conversations on Facebook, and my partner always gets defensive when I bring him up. Should I be worried? How should I approach this if it bothers me (should it bother me) First of all, you don't go on a dating site to look for friends. That's the biggest BS line I've heard from both of my exs that cheated on me. A dating site is used to date. Period. You had issues with him cheating on you. He's always lied and lied to you about his cheating ways. He's always gotten defensive when you've had insecurities about his behavior. And when a cheater gets defensive, he's doing two things 1) he's feeling guilt 2) he's trying to gaslight. I'm not sure why you are still with this guy. Remembering your history with him, I'm sorry you are still here struggling with these issues. And yes, you should be worried that you're still allowing someone to treat you this way. Edited May 9, 2014 by Zahara
d0nnivain Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 Short answer, yes you should be worried. I'd ask to meet this guy in person. If your BF won't spend time with both you & make it abundantly clear by his words & actions that you two are the couple, he's already got one foot or more out the door of your relationship. Sorry.
Chocolat Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 Worry - yes Move to another country with this guy - no 1
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