Break Up, Verbal Abuse and Blackmails

[boulevard]

Hi,

I know I sound like a hopeless ...but it's really good to have this forum where I can vent it out."co I have no1 to share my exact feelings with.

 

We had met in college and had been in a very strong relationship for almost 3 years (2 years in college, 1 year long distance after I graduated..he was still in college, his course was of longer duration).

We were more than just bf/gf pair..we had dreamt of getting old together, we had planned for higher studies, chalked out career and long term goal.

1st 2 years in college were great..he was my best possible friend, philosopher and definitely, a guide.

 

Trouble crept in towards the 2nd half of the year of our long distance (as usual).

 

Now let me put in some more information.

By the time we were in long distance, he had started demanding stuffs that I was never comfortable with.

Skype sex daily at home and phone sex from my office being the major ones among them.

I thought this was a natural demand and did abide by.

Then I met some really good friends from my office and we became a bunch of people regularly hanging out for drinks or dinner.

 

That was when the first surge of anger came from him .

"Why do u stay out so late with boys?"

"You should drink ONLY with me..or with girls. Do i drink with other girls? No, right?"

"You are not getting time to come on skype for me..but you are spending whole weekend with them. I will NOT ALLOW this."

 

And I was pissed off.

 

Meanwhile, I had been developing a crush on one of those people I was hanging out (only to know later that he had an even bigger crush on me), and I continued going out with them, in group definitely, so as to keep having fun, while I still was committed to my bf.

 

Then came the doomsday when somehow my bf accessed my facebook and got to know from a chat with one of my old friends that there was this guy from office I was having a crush on.

.................................................................................................

 

He confronted me.

I was ashamed

Overwhelmed with guilt.

Felt like killing myself for hurting the guy who was waiting , faithfully for me miles away.

And I was ready to go to ANY extent to make up for it.

He was hurt.

He cried.

I comforted him down.

He wanted me to TOTALLY stop going with them and stay isolated in the office if I really loved him.

I did.

Lunch..alone

Dinner...I cooked

Weekends...went to mall alone or attended dance class and stayed home.

He was happy.

He was healed.

It continued for over a month.

 

What happened meanwhile was, I ended up terribly missing my friends. But again, I was the criminal here, so I must penalize. And anyways its shameful for a girl to tag along with a group to have fun drawing the attention of her rush when she already has a steady boyfriend, specially when she dosnt even know how her crush feels about her.

.............................................................................................

 

Then the day came when one of our friends was leaving the city. We didn't even know when we would meet again. I was invited to his house party and I just couldn't say a no..I HAD to see him off. " I would just go and bid him the farewell, meet every1 and come...it won't take me long..my bf doesnt have to know"

..............................................................................................

 

I went...and only after seeing my crush there did I feel how much I had been missing him. A couple of drinks down, he himself ended up confessing that he missed me like crazy all the while I had stopped coming with them, and we both felt at the same time that the disaster had happened long back...we both were hopelessly in love with each other..and not seeing each other at all for over a month had only strengthened it..and this time, we clang to it like we won't let it go again!

However, he knew that I had a bf, and hence did not demand anything from me.it was just the confession of our mutual love for each other .

.................................................................................................

But I was confused.

I dint jump into it.

Was it the hormone playing the game?

Was it a casual colleague-crush that would go?

It was probably happening just because I hadnt met my bf for a long time.

Don't I still care for my bf's feelings?

................................................................................................

I ended up being a bitch playing double game.

I kept appeasing my bf with regular appearance on skype and long chats on phone, while I couldnt compromise with the really good time I had with the crush (we discussed on books, movies, mythologies, music...some thing which I hadnt shared with my previous bf. But yes, my bf was the one who guided me with career..he knew exactly which subject would suit me, which university I should apply, something my crush had a weak area on, and hence I still considered my bf to be the stronger partner for me).

 

Then came a time when I felt I should let my bf know that i was in talking terms with my crush. I just wanted to go honest.

Hiding it from him made me feel even more like a cheater.

 

I had made up my mind..if he took it positively, I would come back to my bf.

If he would still shout at me for talking to my crush, I would give it a second thought.

 

I told him.

He did not just shout..he called me names, threw the worst possible slangs at me, threatened to tell my parents what I was doing, and started blackmailing me saying that he had taken my pics during skype sessions and would forward it to every1 he knew if i would keep talking to my crush.

 

.............................................................................................

 

I broke up .

He kept threatening even more to come back.

I said I had lost all respect for him.

He said "you have wasted my whole one year...i could have been with some other girl in college..u wsted my time...now pay for it..be with me till u find some one else or i find some one else"

I said I was already in love with the crush of mine.

THAT WAS ANOTHER MISTAKE I DID.

My (ex)bf REALLY called up my mom to say we had "slept with each other" and REALLY forwarded the skype pic to my crush (i did not even know that he had truly taken a n-pic of mine!!)

............................................................................................

Now I was even more sure I would leave him.

I came to a new city.

He came to the city...forced me to meet him.

Shouted at me with slangs on road, so loud that people kept staring at us.

Insulted me in every possible way.

By this time I was already with my crush (my present bf)..he tried to talk to my ex to calm him down but with no effort. I had to tell my ex that I had left my crush after he sent him the pic. So my bf can't be in the picture now.

 

Whenever my bf came to meet me, we had to be conscious about my ex not spotting us in the city.

Whenever I would go to meet my bf, I would have to spend 1-5 hr daily on fone listening to my ex abusing me verbally, lest he would forward the foto to more people.

..............................................................................................

 

I was tired.

My bf warned me not to meet him as he can even harm physically, and dare him to do whatever he wanted, even if it was forwarding the foto.

I did.

He became violent.

He shouted even more.

He called me more names.

He called my family names.

he threatened to come to my flat and enter forcefully (and he actually did come, but by then I had shifted to a new place whose address he did not know. I shifted because of this very fear)

But it worked.

He did not have enough courage to forward that pic to any1 else co he knew he would be convicted of cyber crime.

He finally turned to requesting me to meet him.

He gradually started crying, begging.

I was happy that the danger was over.

...........................................................................

 

Now, I don't have to talk to him much. He is about to leave the city in another month and I know i would be safer once he leaves.I am focussing more on my career and new relationship...i cudnt have got a more caring and concerned bf than my present one.

My ex keeps reminding me that it was ME who turned him into a bad person, a cursing boy, a drug addict.

That annoyed me even more and I knew I was NOT going back to him.

 

But as time flies..things are settling in..I am getting more and more nostalgic.

Good memories of college keep creeping in mind.

I can't look at fotos of college couples posted on facebook..it reminds me of each moment i spent with him.

I feel like a very strong connection with the best days of my life has been just snipped off...its like I suddenly have to force myself not to think of those golden days.

I miss my career guide.

I do not understand who I should discuss universities with.

I miss his humour....I miss laughing WITH him at the rest of world.

I miss him, college, us.

.......................................................................................

..........................................................................................

And thats how I'm going on now.

The last time I met him he was all mellowed down, I comforted him, we sat by the sea beach and cried silently, holding our hands.

After I came home, however, he was back to his shouting mode on fone "What's the point in crying at the beach if you are not going to come back you sl*t ?" And again I knew I wouldn't go back to him.

But the very next moment he would call up and say "I'm so sorry I shouted at you..but YOU have made me like that. I am actually a nice person. If you come back, I'll be good. Just because you are not coming back, I am like this"

 

Then I would be pondering again over the whole issue and feel guilty...was I really the chief culprit?

I know I was wrong..

But did i really deserve the abuse?

Should I really have accepted my abuser back so that he can show his better side?

 

All these questions are eating me away.

Anybody who had the patience to read the whole thing please help me.

[LadyM]

Abusers are highly skilled at making the victim feel at fault. Abusers don't have a better side. They only have a pretend side to persuade you to once again be their victim. That is what he's doing to you.

 

And even with all the abuse, you still want him. Victims become inexplicably bound to their abuser. That's the nature of abuse. We wait for the "good side" of him to reappear, but it's all a facade, even when he's pretending in the nice guy role.

 

We live for the breadcrumbs of how it "used to be" when they wooed us at the beginning or intermittently throughout the relationship. Make no mistake -- this man is abusive and will never treat you better unless he undergoes extensive counseling.

 

I suggest you read all you can on abusive relationships. Educate yourself about how and why you're still involved with him and how to break away. There's some fascinating and helpful information out there.

 

I know it's so hard to break away, but is this a man you'd want to marry and raise a family with?

 

You deserve better.

[Kopite]

Abusers are highly skilled at making the victim feel at fault. Abusers don't have a better side. They only have a pretend side to persuade you to once again be their victim. That is what he's doing to you.

 

And even with all the abuse, you still want him. Victims become inexplicably bound to their abuser. That's the nature of abuse. We wait for the "good side" of him to reappear, but it's all a facade, even when he's pretending in the nice guy role.

 

We live for the breadcrumbs of how it "used to be" when they wooed us at the beginning or intermittently throughout the relationship. Make no mistake -- this man is abusive and will never treat you better unless he undergoes extensive counseling.

 

I suggest you read all you can on abusive relationships. Educate yourself about how and why you're still involved with him and how to break away. There's some fascinating and helpful information out there.

 

I know it's so hard to break away, but is this a man you'd want to marry and raise a family with?

 

You deserve better.

 

Whilst I agree with the general gist of this post, it pretty much ignores the whole main point of the OP.

 

Boulevard- The long distance thing is hard. I know. I've been there. I was in the same situation as your ex. My girlfriend who was living in another country developed a crush on someone else. She hid it from me for a few months and finally told me because she felt too guilty. I was devastated. So was he I imagine.

 

You chose to go out with those friends, you chose to feed your crush by continuing to meet this new guy. If you really loved your ex, why would you be willing to feed your crush when the instant reaction should have been to stop seeing him immediately? I am not blaming you but in the end you made those decisions and you had to face the consequence. You can't play around between two guys. You even admit this in your post.

 

You made your ex upset and your relationship with him will probably never be the same. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on the view point) your ex's reaction was poor and maybe it was a good thing you broke up if he was being abusive. Maybe this new guy you are with is a nice guy but it seems like you thrive on the rollercoaster of emotions that come with having a crush and I'm not truly sure you love this new guy as you are already thinking again about your ex.

 

Anyway, I can't give you much advice as you are obviously confused but at the same time you seem quite smart and self-aware about what is going on.

 

Hope it works out for you whatever happens but it's probably time you made a decision. What do you really want? You can't switch between two guys or more as it's not fair on them. I wouldn't recommend going back to the ex though as he does seem to be quite insecure and easily jealous but at the same time, maybe he has the right to be especially considering what happened?

 

For my case, when my girlfriend told me she developed a crush on someone else and was confused about her feelings for me, I told her it was over and not to contact me again until she was ready to decided what she wanted. I know the feeling your ex had and it can truly bring up emotions of hate. It truly is a terrible feeling to know that the person you really love starts to doubt her feelings for you. I felt so hurt and angry but instead of releasing it on her, I cut contact, otherwise who knows what I would have said/did?

[SpiritualAlchemy]

Cut contact with your ex completely, if you haven't already. You need to give him an opportunity to heal. You have hurt him; he's hurt you. You're not going back, so stop prolonging both your agony by maintaining contact.

 

Go to a student liason officer to get advice about your university. Anyone can give you this information. Rely on your own judgment to make a decision about your own future.

 

Retrain your brain to not get all nostalgic. He took naked pictures of you and sent them to people - to your mother! (Ah, the wonderful world of technology we live in!). You've hurt each other too much for you to go back to the old days. Even if you did go back, he's not in forgiveness mode, he'll be in "making you pay" mode.

 

Leave him be. You made your decision; a better choice it seems like.

 

Of course you didn't deserve the abuse. I feel sad you need to ask that question. That behavior shows clearly now emotionally manipulative he is. He was trying to control you, just like he did when he got you to stop going out. That's ridiculous, young people go out, it's what they do. Red flags right there.

[boulevard]

Thank you all so much for the reply !

@SpiritualAlchemy and LadyM... thaks for making me feel better.

PS: he dint send the pic to my mom , he sent it to my then-crush (now bf), with a hope that it would set us apart. He called up my mom at 2am to tell her that we had already slept together so as to either shatter my reputation in the family or make my family advise me not to leave the one i had slept with (stupid !!!)

 

As far as university guidelines are concerned , yeah now that i read the point, it's stupid too ! Given that I have admits to a couple of good universities already without much of his guidence

 

@Kopite..

Thanks for your honest way of telling the whole story from your perspective...it was really good to hear from some one ELSE in the same shoes as those of my ex.

Had my ex been like YOU, had he showed his anger in a different way..had he ignored me, cut his contacts, fought with me in a non-insulting way....I would have probably ended up missing him AND respecting him even more and would have come back if he had wanted .

 

But now that he has done ALL these things...I am SURE I can't have a future with him.

As for my present bf...i do love him. I love him, but its the memories of those college days that are etched deep in my mind...and it'll take a while, or even a lifetime, to forget them.

 

Guess what, my present bf is such a matured human being..that after much hesitation of making him feel bad, I finally had the courage and comfort to tell him my EXACT feeling !

And he told me it was perfectly normal to be nostalgic about my days with ex...coz back then, we WERE really happy....we were in college..we were enjoying...and most importantly, we both WERE in love. And also, i have more memories from the three years of college than the memories i have with my present bf of one year.

 

I KNOW I will NEVER , EVER, EVER go back to my ex.

I cannot see myself raising a family with an abuser/drunkard (though he claims he'll stop doing all these once i'm with him, but i dont believe him)

 

My only concern is : after ALL the insult, ALL the threatenings, ALL the harm he did...how could I be so irresponsible and stupid, to miss my days with him??

 

May be it's a feeling that will pass with time.

I just want him to be happy in life.

[boulevard]

also, @SpiritualAlchemy...

You think I did not cut off my contact with him?

I had tried to block his number, buy a new sim and use it on another fon and ignored up to 200 missed calls from him.

The result was : he ringing up at my office reception.

I had a mini heart attack the day the receptionist informed me to receive a call from him. ANd he simply threatened if I would not receive his calls he wont hesitate to get printouts of my foto and stick them on office walls.

 

He wouldn't have done it anyways...there ARE securities. But then...I just kept attending his calls to avoid any such threats..I was already tired and fed up and scared of him.

 

But when he wasnt just happy with talking on fon..he forced me to meet him.

I rejected...saying that I was already over with him...and we had met many times before that..I had tried to explain him that i was over every time i met but he never understood.

 

Then there was this day when he walked till my flat and threatened me to come out and meet or he would enter my house. (I was then staying at my old flat whose address he knew).

To avoid any problem in the society, I went out to meet him.

I went with calm mood, and whole lotta courage to face him.

 

He was drunk.

His whole face covered with beard ...he looked fierce with red eyes...reeking of smoke.

He started shouting at me and treating me rudely, right away.

He shouted on the street. I pulled him to a little less crowded street so that people wont see me. He continued screaming at me for 1 long hour..when finally 2 elderly men on bike had to come and stop there and threatened to call the police. hen they asked me I told them he was harassing me, but i did not want the police to get involved as that would make my life hell too...so I asked them to let him go.

Meanwhile a senior person from my society came there and rescued me to the flat on his car....

 

My whole point was: Given that i have done the crime of ditching him for some one else one year ago...do i still deserve this?

[Strength in Healing]

Well, I'm sure many people will feel pity, but I am going to be much more honest.

 

This right here is why you shouldn't swing from one relationship to another. There's about 4 different reasons I counted so far.

 

You aren't ready to be with this new guy, you are confused, and you need to truly take time to be alone and sort out your problems. This is sad in many ways.

 

I am in law enforcement so I am of course not defending your ex who is violating the law, but your actions have been incorrect as well.

[witmadskilllz]

Whilst I agree with the general gist of this post, it pretty much ignores the whole main point of the OP.

 

Boulevard- The long distance thing is hard. I know. I've been there. I was in the same situation as your ex. My girlfriend who was living in another country developed a crush on someone else. She hid it from me for a few months and finally told me because she felt too guilty. I was devastated. So was he I imagine.

 

You chose to go out with those friends, you chose to feed your crush by continuing to meet this new guy. If you really loved your ex, why would you be willing to feed your crush when the instant reaction should have been to stop seeing him immediately? I am not blaming you but in the end you made those decisions and you had to face the consequence. You can't play around between two guys. You even admit this in your post.

 

You made your ex upset and your relationship with him will probably never be the same. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on the view point) your ex's reaction was poor and maybe it was a good thing you broke up if he was being abusive. Maybe this new guy you are with is a nice guy but it seems like you thrive on the rollercoaster of emotions that come with having a crush and I'm not truly sure you love this new guy as you are already thinking again about your ex.

 

Anyway, I can't give you much advice as you are obviously confused but at the same time you seem quite smart and self-aware about what is going on.

 

Hope it works out for you whatever happens but it's probably time you made a decision. What do you really want? You can't switch between two guys or more as it's not fair on them. I wouldn't recommend going back to the ex though as he does seem to be quite insecure and easily jealous but at the same time, maybe he has the right to be especially considering what happened?

 

For my case, when my girlfriend told me she developed a crush on someone else and was confused about her feelings for me, I told her it was over and not to contact me again until she was ready to decided what she wanted. I know the feeling your ex had and it can truly bring up emotions of hate. It truly is a terrible feeling to know that the person you really love starts to doubt her feelings for you. I felt so hurt and angry but instead of releasing it on her, I cut contact, otherwise who knows what I would have said/did?

 

I completely agree with this.

 

OP, I have been in the same shoes as your ex as well and prior to post breakup, I had begged and poured out my heart, threw away my ego and wanted to fix/repair the relationship. In the end, to no avail, it was too late and she was in too deep with her new crush. I had cut all contact and removed every single photo, gift, conversation in order to heal and move on.

 

But yeah, OP, I truly respect your honesty and sometimes truth hurts. Although, I believe that in order to pursue a healthy and mature relationship, is to realize and accept that you and your partner will always end up meeting new people in each of your respective lives. We can not just learn everything from our partner alone, your social life is much bigger, broader, and the potential to be a lot more. What you can do is to share a part of your life with your partner and in the end, we all learn from each other one way or another. I wish my ex was as honest as you were, my relationship lacked the communication aspect and my insecurities slowly increased as I found out more about the new man.

 

So yeah, at this point in time it's best to keep moving forward in life, what has been done cannot be undone so learn from it and become a better person for yourself and for him.

Edited May 9, 2014 by witmadskilllz

[JustC]

Your abuser is NOT GOING TO CHANGE. EVER.

Edited May 9, 2014 by JustC

[FredJones80]

Although, I believe that in order to pursue a healthy and mature relationship, is to realize and accept that you and your partner will always end up meeting new people in each of your respective lives. We can not just learn everything from our partner alone, your social life is much bigger, broader, and the potential to be a lot more. What you can do is to share a part of your life with your partner and in the end, we all learn from each other one way or another.

 

This is definitely true.

 

The problem is some people seem to mistake new friendships (with the opposite sex) as a way of escaping the problems "at home"

 

Rather than make things work with a current relationship just hop ship to something less hard to deal with or requires no work and profit for the initial high of being "in love" or infatuation.

 

Sure, opposite sex friends and friends can be great, but people need to learn the boundaries and not "monkey branch" as someone put it

[7yearsbroken]

It has been a year and I'm in a very similar situation. Although I would never be as abusive or threatening, when I found out she had feelings for another man, I lost it. I told her karma would get her because she broke my heart. She slept with him when I could've been having fun afar from her also.

Although distance causes separation, I could not accept her caring for someone else. I loved her so deeply.

 

I sympathize for you both both. You are confused, but obviously having the time of your life apart from your ex! Your ex is wrong to act that crazy! So it's a deeply tragic situation where women get what they want in the end and screw over the guy. In the end the guy goes nuts and then everyone says he's the bad guy, when he was the one that was two timed. Love can drive you crazy, especially unrequited love.

 

Your happy with your new man so good for you! Look back and laugh at your ex, the one you screwed over.. I don't agree with his bad actions but I find it funny how everyone can say. Good, you both can mature and find new people and move on. Everyone deserves happiness, but not at the expense of others. Two timing confused people cause too much damage. Smh.

[Chi townD]

I'm with Strength by Healing on this one. Were you wrong? Yep! Did he handle it badly? YEP! But it is what it is.

 

 

You cheated on him. Plain and simple. And you have to see it from his prospective. It was with his guidance that got you where you are today. And how do you repay him? You replace him. Good job!

 

 

If I'm making you feel guilty...well, then...good! You cheated and hurt this guy pretty badly. Now, I'm not defending your Ex, he handled things in the worst way possible. And that wasn't right. But, it was through your actions that made him behave this way!

 

 

It's like you used him and moved on to the next new thing. "Hey, thanks for giving me direction and motivation in my life. Thanks for the help getting me set up in a new city with a new job and career. But, this new guy is going to enjoy the benefits now. So, BYE!" That's how he see's things.

 

 

He's crushed, he's severely pissed off and he's devastated. But, you got what YOU wanted right? The love of your life? All would be right in your universe if your Ex never existed! I mean, for pete sake's You even said in your original post that you miss your "career guide" Was that all he was to you? He wasn't a guidance counselor! He was your boyfriend, he is a human being that invested his time and his love into you! And that's how you felt about him as nothing more than a career guide to you?

 

 

Okay, you want advice? Leave him alone. Ignore him. Sooner or later he'll find a girl that will love him for the things that he does for her. That will appreciate him for who he is.

[boulevard]

wow ! kind of funny to see so many supporters of abuse .

So all you wana say is :it's okay for him to let my family know about our deeds, and strip the one he "loved" before another person., and call her and her parents names, because she had told him that her feelings for him were over, and make her life hell with further blackmails just to get her back

**claps**

 

By the way...he wasnt the one that brought me to where I am...I have been succesful, career-wise because of my own hardwork, all I said was he was a good friend to discuss my plans with..not that I'm devastated and missing my goals without his guidance.

 

Moreover, just because I did not mention the benefits he enjoyed from me, does not mean I had NO CONTRIBUTION to the relationship. Since it was me doing the job while he was a student, I was the one who bought him new phone and branded clothes whenever he wanted (he couldn't ask his elder brother to gift him those coz apparently, I was closer to him).

I got physically intimate some times even against my will.

I did skype with him against my own comfort.

I isolated myself to keep him happy.

 

When he came to meet me, we stayed in a deluxe guest house...I was the one doing the entire payment..and also the one some times cooking for him.

But you would say hey ! that's so materialistic..look at the emotional side.

 

Had I not been emotionally supportive towards him, I wouldnt have continued like this for so many days.

 

All set apart, my chief concern was : why am i still missing the old days even after deciding not to be with him?

Let's not miss the key point here...

people like Chi townDi and 7yearsBroken..you need not bring out your personal frustration on me.

If you would have kept your girl happy enough, she would have never even felt like leaving you.

 

I already know I did a mistake...I was younger....not matured enough to calculate the aftermath.

But yeah, when the aftermath did come...it was far more fierce than my own actions.

 

So I already know I did not deserve this severe a penalty.

Thank you for pointing out that whatever my ex did was fine.

Abusers survive because of you people.

 

All I wanted was a psychological insight on why the nostalgia, and how to overcome it hen I already know I won't go back to my ex.

 

PS: I repeat, I love my present bf. I want to overcome the current feeling i'm having to put in more focus in my present relationship. And now, we are again in a long distance relationship...trust me..no I don't even feel like going out much with others although he keeps pushing me to go out and enjoy. (that could be because I am preparing for exams besides a job, and my ex has already wasted lot of my time with his threats, calls and abuse, but i some how prefer to remain home and study and go meet my bf some times on long weekends).

 

Had my ex been a bit considerate...had he let me realise on my own that staying home would be better..perhaps I would hav stopped going out with them after few days.But when he said "I will NOT allow"..that did the opposite effect.

 

Enough said, I would invite feedback on the more relevant part of my post, instead of replies that keep pointing out if I was wrong or not,(that too from people who have been int he same shoes as my ex..duh!) 'coz I know I was.

[KaliLove]

I didn't see any posts that are supporting abuse. I do, however, see people who are telling you to walk the f*ck away from this nonsense. At some point you stop being a victim and you start being a volunteer. I think you have reached this point.

 

Please, for your own safety, walk away from this situation. Make a clean break. You deserve so much better.

[Chi townD]

Yeah, already told you what you what you should do. Leave him alone. AND I told you I wasn't defending his actions and that he was wrong to.

 

 

But, did you ever think that you hurt him badly; therefore, he wanted you to feel as bad as he did? Thus, spilling the beans on your "intimate" moments with him. But, I think you have a skewed way of thinking what a victim is here. You got embarrassed and mortified. But, what exactly did it do to your life? Not much. I suppose because you probably still have the support of your family. I'm sure they didn't turn their back on you. You still have your job and career. Your new love of your life did dump you over it. I'm sure you're not seeing a therapist twice a week over this. The only thing I think you lost was any respect that you had for your Ex.

 

 

Believe me, I'm not frustrated or taking out my frustration on you. My life is great and I'm well adjusted. Oh, and keeping my woman happy, I do just fine in that department (and I'm happy as hell to have my cheating bitch of an Ex out of my life.) I just pointed out why your Ex lashed out at you, and unfortunately, I didn't tell you what you wanted to hear.

 

 

If he's still calling and harassing you, call the cops and get a restraining order.

Edited May 10, 2014 by Chi townD

[7yearsbroken]

wow ! kind of funny to see so many supporters of abuse .

 

people like Chi townDi and 7yearsBroken..you need not bring out your personal frustration on me.

If you would have kept your girl happy enough, she would have never even felt like leaving you.

 

I already know I did a mistake...I was younger....not matured enough to calculate the aftermath.

 

I'm sorry if you think I'm taking out my anger on you. Again, I don't think your ex is innocent and I don't agree with the shameful and unlawful disgusting things he has put you through. Without realizing this he has indefinitely passed the point of return, maybe he does not want you back neither, either way I wish you happiness because ultimately no one deserves to suffer.

 

What gets me upset is the choice you made, that you admit to two-timing your ex. I hope from now on you won't do that because it causes a lot of emotional pain. you have a new boyfriend now, and it worked out for you. Please take care and be aware of your actions before you decide to jump ship. It hurts people, and they may want to hurt you back ten fold. I wish you happiness and joy, and I hope your ex can find peace also. Peace.