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Better to show up sick or look like a flake


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Posted

I have a date scheduled tonight but am feeling a bit under the weather. Probably just a common cold but will likely prevent me from putting my best foot forward. Given it's only about 5 hours away, is it better to risk looking like a flake with a last minute cancel or try to tough it out? I mainly having a nagging cough which could make things awkward, but wouldn't prevent me from missing work. I absolutely hate flakers and it could kill any possible future. That being said, she canceled on me last week citing work stuff but quickly rescheduled. So which is better, show up mildly sick or cancel?

Posted

Let them know that you are feeling a bit sick and ask if they would rather reschedule or go ahead with the date. You can put the onus on the date partner to opt to reschedule.

 

Some people really dont need to get sick, due to work, family, children, committments, etc. If you give them the option to reschedule they will thank you for it.

 

Other people dont really care. In which case, they will consider you a champ for showing up anyway.

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Posted

I agree with ktya. I would give her the option. Probably no kissing or sharing food just in case.

Posted
Let them know that you are feeling a bit sick and ask if they would rather reschedule or go ahead with the date. You can put the onus on the date partner to opt to reschedule.

 

Some people really dont need to get sick, due to work, family, children, committments, etc. If you give them the option to reschedule they will thank you for it.

 

Other people dont really care. In which case, they will consider you a champ for showing up anyway.

 

Perfect advice, and it is so simply obvious. I never could figure out the best way to handle this situation, but this is spot on.

- if she decides to reschedule again, you are not flaking.

- she knows you are not flaking to do something 'better' because you are willing to go or not.

- if the date goes on, she has advanced warning you are not 100% and hopefully makes an allowance for it.

Posted

She cancelled on you last week. So its 50/50 and if you are not in top form you will just wish you had stayed at home should it not go well. Above is right honesty is the best policy on this occasion.

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Posted
She cancelled on you last week. So its 50/50 and if you are not in top form you will just wish you had stayed at home should it not go well. Above is right honesty is the best policy on this occasion.

 

My only concern is a third reschedule seems incredibly unlikely.

Posted

Yeah I would just go sick. I think rescheduling just has too high a chance of you two never going out. Her flaking is a bad sign fwiw. Some flakes are legit, others are not, and it can be difficult to tell the difference sometimes.

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