WW's this is some of the damage you have caused. A rant.

[veritas lux mea]

VLM,

Stating that the finical cost of being married is not a spin, it is simply a fact and more important a simple fact for me. I could find a woman that has more wealth than I do, however their are still other problems that come up with that and includes living with one. That is their are DV laws on the books that are very one sided now. A friend of mine almost went to jail after his adult niece attacked him. The only reason he did not go was because she had no injuries. The officer that spoke with my friend stated that if she had hurt herself by hitting him, he would be in jail. So do I chose to risk things like this in the name of love? Oh hell no...

 

However I will stop responding directly to you and just keep posting general messages to everyone else out their. So keep trying to open another path to a man's wallet, you go girl.

 

 

What the hell? Are you one of those crazies who talk about eating the blue or red pull and what to spread your woman hating?

 

You say this isn't a gender thing but you seem very intent to make it one.

 

Of course you won't reply to me as your argument is stuck on a loop. You completely put your own "spin" on my post. You have attacked women of having an agenda while it seems you have your own angenda and you completely ignored the fact that I have kade it clear I am not financialy dependant on my husband and have no desire for men to open their pocket books. Specially not Mysoginsts who have no business being in a relationship in the first place!

Edited May 16, 2014 by veritas lux mea

[revelations]

Now we have resorted to name calling.. I guess next we are going to have posts talking about my mother?

Question #1 Who walks away with alimony in most divorce cases a)women b)men

Question #2 Who initiates the divorces in a majority of the time a)women b)men

Just these two questions makes it pretty clear if answered honestly. However is what should not be ignored is that some women actually do have an education and work for a living. Usually these women are asking for a pre-nup themselves. I actually have a married friend of mine that willingly signed a pre-nup because his wife is rather well off. Myself if I was in the same situation I would sign a pre-nup also, hell she worked for it so she should keep it is the way I look at it.

 

I love being called a woman hater, it just warms my heart. Let's look at this a different way. I like rattlesnakes, they look cool, it is interesting to watch them hunt and learn about them. Now I know that if I get too close they can bite me, and hurt me pretty bad, maybe even kill me. So I do not hate the snake because of this. I simply keep my distance along with my love for them at a safe distance. Hell I don't hate sharks either, and they actually do not bite very many people during the year. However I would still keep my distance from them. So maybe it just took me being bitten by women a few too many times to understand that I need to keep my distance if I chose not to be bitten. Let's face facts even the experts get bitten by the snake. I am no expert with women so do I even stand a chance of not being bitten?

[EverySunset]

I have been keeping up with you revelations. Watching more than participating really. I don't really want to inject myself in some of your main conversations but I have been wonderinghow you've been.

 

You have been mightily wounded by one you let get close. You didn't trust her too much, but you did trust her more than she deserved.

 

Leaving her firmly behind though, what are you doing, for you, to heal your soul?

[revelations]

I have been keeping up with you revelations. Watching more than participating really. I don't really want to inject myself in some of your main conversations but I have been wonderinghow you've been.

 

You have been mightily wounded by one you let get close. You didn't trust her too much, but you did trust her more than she deserved.

 

Leaving her firmly behind though, what are you doing, for you, to heal your soul?

 

Wow that is a very thoughtful question to ask. However always feel free to inject yourself, good or bad I will reply. Okay aside from eating right and exercise and that sort of thing. I also read a lot, I tend to read everything I can from personal growth to history and sci-fi. Let's face it I get a lot of joy out of reading. I also enjoy fishing, for me it is very peaceful and I get to enjoy nature that way. Lately I have been enjoying a lot of video game time. Some times I take small trips to different towns and just wonder around their malls, maybe eat and see a movie. I just try and enjoy life as much as I can.

 

Now the reason I have all this free time is because I was injured on the job. Yes that is being handled and I am seeing a doctor to fix what is wrong with my arm, shoulder and back.

 

However back to the main subject. I think is what confuses people is my perspective about marriage and women in general. Now let's talk about marriage first. Aside from the wife not having to testify against her husband in court what legal advantage does it give a man to marry? Truthfully I have found none. For a man it is always a risk, not just of his heart but his ability to take care of himself in the future. So as a man I can end up broke, living on the streets and alone or live indoors, have food and other goodies and be alone. Which would sound like a better choice to make? Now mind you that I am not saying that all women will leave and take a man for everything, it is just that a lot do. Also the fact is that all are capable of doing this. So with that in mind why would I want to enter into something that would cause me to worry about this? If I am truly wanting to be happy it only makes sense to avoid marriage even if it is just for the piece of mind.

 

Now how I feel about women. Okay that is a very open subject, however do I feel that all women are bad or do I hate all women. The answer is NO, I do not hate all women or think they are bad. I have seen good women turn bad and bad women turn good. So to me women are seen as more of a possible danger. Now a lot of the danger and risks of marriage I talk about just has to do with current laws. What I posted earlier about a friend almost going to jail is a completely true story. My xWW tried to hit me once, and the cops were only interested in trying to arrest me and I had fled the house. The woman I had met a few years earlier would have never done such a thing, however she changed. Oh and before others go off about what I may have done I can tell you right now I never laid a hand on her nor any other woman. So really it has nothing to do with hating or anything else. It has to do with knowing what the laws are and choosing not to have one in my life. It is also knowing myself and what I am happy with in life and what I am willing to risk for more joy. For me it is simply that women have become too much risk for what is offered in return.

 

Right now I have a pretty good life and I am actually happy. To include a woman in that only increases the chances to ruin what I have gained. Thankfully their is no law on the books that I have to marry. I am overjoyed that I can excessive that right. Thankfully I don't have the nightmares much anymore, however when I do, I wake up go to my mirror and see my post it note that reads "She's gone, Your single, Enjoy your life". That gives me a great relief to be reminded of that. If I do go on a date and I do not like the personality of that woman, I simply get up and walk out. Why? Simple, because I can. Most of that past hurt is nothing but a scar now. It does serve to remind me that I do not need to allow pain to be inflicted on me like that again. I hope that clears things up for you and please know that I am okay. I actually enjoy being carefree and single and I have been using my time to better myself. If I was unclear or you have more questions please feel free to ask.

[odinseye]

*note*

I write this from the perspective as a BH myself. I can have empathy with a BW, however I cannot know exactly how she feels. Men and women suffer hurt in different ways by a WS. I am posting this not do disrespect any BW out their. This is simply a rant for the WW's to read if they chose to. Anyone responding please understand that this is in no way intended to describe what all BH's feel, go through or how they will or should react. This is simply some of the things I went through and how I reacted to the situation.

 

 

 

WW’s you may have told us or we may have discovered your affair or ONS. Right now we are in shock, the woman that we thought has loved us so much has just hurt us beyond belief. You have just died to us, not the kind of death that we mourn because we will miss you. The woman that we loved and the person we thought you were has just died. You stand in front of us and we do not know who you are. To us we see a beautiful woman that turned into a monster before our very eyes. We ask what we have done to you to deserve this. We ask ourselves why you hate us so much. You have just destroyed our world right now and our entire past life that we had enjoyed with you. We can no longer look back on the happy times during the marriage with joy. We have been crushed and it was because of your selfish actions.

 

You may wish to stay with us WW’s or wish to leave. You leaving may be easier on us BH’s, staying will definitely add confusion. We question why you are staying. We question what other hurt you will inflict upon us. We see a wife that has mislead us, blinding us to what a malicious woman you can actually be. We question if the A is over or do you intend to continue it or start another. We question how this OM was able to win your affections from us. We question why you have chosen to come back to us. Is it the financial security? Is it because we have been together so long? Is it because of the children? Is it simply that you were dumped? We have a million questions and very few if not any answers to these questions. None of the answers you will provide us will comfort us. None of the answers you will give us can we believe. You have broken our trust in you, how can we believe anything you say to us?

 

We wonder if the OM’s arms that he held you with are better than ours. We wonder if the kisses you shared were more passionate. We wonder if your OM was well-endowed. We wonder why you felt more sexually free with your OM and not with us. When we try and make love to you we see you making love to the OM. We wonder if you made the same noises with the OM or did you make different noises. Sometimes we are not able to rise to the occasion or go soft in the middle of our love making. We feel like a failure in every sense of the word. We cannot stimulate you like your OM did nor do we have a desire to do so. We wonder what the looks in your eyes were when the OM was so deep inside of you. We wonder what happed that you thought was cute or funny with your OM. We wonder what pillow talk you had with the OM was. We wonder if you compared us to the OM and how often we fell short. We wonder if you and the OM had a laugh at our expense. When we do make love to you we wonder if you’re thinking of the OM. We wonder if you miss the OM touch or the sex you shared with him. We may ask you about some of these things, others we may not. Some things we might not wish to know about, others we may regret getting an answer to.

 

A BH now sees himself in a different light. We are now depressed, we may be on prescription drugs to help us cope with the depression. We get tremors in our hands from these drugs. These drugs may cause us to be impotent or not be able to ejaculate. We wonder how we could have been so easily fooled by you and curse ourselves for allowing it. We lose interest in things that use to bring us joy. We no longer see another happy couple with fondness. Instead we feel sorry for that man, wondering when he too will be destroyed by her. In short we have a different perspective of not just you, but the whole world around us. WW’s you have changed us to our very core. These changes are not good ones that better us as a man. These changes you have made to your men cause us to harden our hearts. These are changes that affect how we see our WW’s and any woman we see. You have destroyed us for other women and not in a good way. You did not destroy us by giving us love that no other woman can. You did not destroy us with your skills in the bedroom. You destroyed us because we now wonder when the new woman will cheat on us. If we leave you then you use a family court system to ruin us financially. Making it difficult for us to recover from the hurt you caused. Crushing the very core of who we are is not good enough for you, so you choose to do this financially as well.

 

As any of us BH’s know we are not totally helpless. Sure the WW's have law enforcement, lawyers, family courts, and a bunch of other resources on their side. WW’s you may even claim to be the victim and get attention that way. BH’s are now getting wise to what you are doing and have done. We know that we cannot win a battle in court against you. We know that the public at large thinks of us as worthless and disposable. However we do know that even as a BH we are worth something. We have value and we spread this word to other BH’s. We have a very powerful tool to use against the self-entitled WW or the future WW. We can simply abstain from you. Yes that is right, if we do not date you then no more free dinner for you. You can no longer say we came on too strong. If we are not getting into relationship or marrying you then you have no one there with you. You cannot cheat on us because we are not there. You cannot complain to us about whatever thing that you wanted. You cannot collect alimony or child support from us, we are no longer there. WW’s we are no longer there for you to abuse us and use us.

 

BH’s may have current child support or alimony to pay, however we will not fall into the same trap again. Our perspective is different now and we are no longer going to pursue you. Instead we will focus on ourselves and try to recover from the damage that you so gleefully caused. We will rediscover our hobbies and even find new ones. We will exercise and improve our health. We will read books or take a class to improve our knowledge. We will take an active interest in our friends and enjoy BBQ’s and fishing trips with them. When we chose to be with another woman, she will be younger than you and much prettier. We will not be trapped by her, instead only enjoying a night or two with her. We will start a new life for ourselves and enjoy it. WW’s please enjoy your cats, wine and anti-depressants. The world will become a lonely place for you.

 

I left my home today. thought that I made myself very clear at the family councilors office, even had a list of terms that I required she signed as she understood the terms.

When we arrived at home about a half hour after we got there, a friend of hers was at the door knocking. She answered it and when I got there she has her purse in hand and tells me she just needed a private conversation with him and would be back in a half hour to fourty five minutes, I said what he can say to you he can say to me. Again I watched her ride down the street in another mans car. I went and changed all the locks and put her bags on the porch with a bus ticket home to her mother. She came home an hour later and had to go next door for the police to get me to let her back in, this time I was not willing to listen to her about rights of privacy, I said ok you can have as much as you want, Packed up my backpack. put the keys on the countertop for the car and the house, grabbed my cane and headed out. The only thing I used as a compass was west. I have only covered twelve or so miles. found a nice copse of trees to set up camp for the night, all I took was 500.00 so I have to stretch it. I have several weeks of MREs if I don't eat them . Really can't think of wanting to, I am sort of uncomfortable without my meds. But all I want is to be free of my father and wife. I am going to get a little more sleep before sunrise and getting back on the road. I hope I can cover 15 to 20 miles today. The farther I get the better I will feel.

[underwater2010]

I absolutely hate that WWs ruin great men for future women.

 

I don't think the pain between being a BH or BW is that far apart. I couldn't imagine trying to raise 3 kids on my own with a little child support. Because lets face it.....I am not going to get his whole check as it currently stands.

 

Please remember that there are plenty of loyal woman out there. I am one...faithful to the bone. We do exist....I promise. Please don't hold back from your future love because someone has destroyed your past.

[revelations]

I absolutely hate that WWs ruin great men for future women.

 

I don't think the pain between being a BH or BW is that far apart. I couldn't imagine trying to raise 3 kids on my own with a little child support. Because lets face it.....I am not going to get his whole check as it currently stands.

 

Please remember that there are plenty of loyal woman out there. I am one...faithful to the bone. We do exist....I promise. Please don't hold back from your future love because someone has destroyed your past.

 

 

underwater2010 what you wrote is very sweet. Truthfully a BW or a BH has a lot of the same pain, so I really don't think that one hurts less than another. Holding back really has nothing to do with it. For me it is just that I am happy being single. Being in a relationship does not make me feel complete nor happy, I already feel this way single. I do understand that there are honest and loyal women out their. However current laws only encourage honest and loyal women to not be so honest or loyal. It would be one thing if it was only the risk of a heartbreak, however this is not the case with divorce laws or even cohabiting. With the bias against men being so extreme in family court, criminal courts and society as a whole, my safest place is to be alone.

 

I will say that I have not lost all hope, their are people that are shining a light on this subject and trying to promote change. If you want you can even look up a small group of women called "Honey Badgers" that work very hard to expose these issues. I give these ladies a lot of credit for what they do. They understand that men and women should work together and that we complement each other. They actually view men as humans and not a tool or accessory. However for me it will take a lot of years if ever for me to be okay with the idea of even being in a long term relationship again. Even the thought of it gives me nightmares. Let's face it, I have been used up and have nothing else to give or offer a woman even if I wanted to. I am okay with that and I look forward to a life being free.