Eddiethemunster Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 Well here is my predicament, I was with my ex for just over 2 and a half years, during that that time we decided to move in together. I was 30 she was 26. The relationship had its up and downs like any, but I found things were running along quite smoothly, until we were into the last 6 months of the relationship that things started to go sour. I had picked her up one evening from a work dou and she admitted to me that she had cheated during the early stages of the relationship, now don't get me wrong I'm no saint. She poured out her heart and told me she was telling me because she didn't feel like she could hide it anymore. And didn't want to hurt me. But this was the first girl I'd ever been with who I showed any real feelings for and remained faithful to throughout, past and previous girlfriends were just someone I'd been seeing and I had my fair share of flings. So like a complete numpty I forgave her! And thought this was my karma for all of my previous sins with the other girls I'd dated. And considering I was mad about her and living together I could hardly turn back now. A few weeks passed and I started to notice a real change, we used to do nearly everything together form meeting up after work to attending dinners with friends, yet something was different she had started to not invite me out or want to do anything together. Ok I thought to myself maybe she just needs her own space. Until one day this happened she came home from work and out of the blue told me she was going on holiday with her friends during NYE, that she'd already booked her tickets and there were none left available. WTF! Now I'm no relationship expert here but surely if you are seeing and living with a partner this is something you'd discuss with them first? I didn't have a problem with her going on holiday with her friends but the underlying issue was her blatant disregard for me. And the fact it was during one of the most eventful times of the year when you'd want to be with your partner. Well dare to say I wasn't best pleased with this. A few more months had passed and the NYE holiday had got cancelled because many of her friends had decided to stay home with their families. Winner smile back on my face. I also need to add this during the last six months sex was non existent and it wasn't for my goals at trying but everything I tired to do I just got shot down. Pretty much since she'd declared the cheating issue. We were booked onto a Holiday in the med and this was our first real holiday together, we'd both agreed that if it was going to work the holiday would be a make our break. We had a wonderful time away even tho again sex was non existent and I'm talking 1-2 times a week which I might add this isnt healthy for someone at my age, maybe if I was 60 yeah. Shortly after the holiday I thought I'd make a real effort to get things back on track so I called her out of the blue and asked what time she'd be back from work: "about 6 babe", nice one she'd usually cook as she was always home before me but on this occasion I told her don't worry I would do dinner and expected her for 6ish. Little did I know she had made plans with work friends to go out drinking so 6 came and went she didn't show up till midnight, cheeky bitch, I was at my wits end with her antics left her dinner on the side. Finally after a week or so more she walked in 1 day and said straight out the she couldn't do this anymore and felt like she'd fallen out of Love with me, great she could of said this 6 months ago. So being the bigger man I grabbed my stuff and moved out immediately. Nightmare!!!!!!!!!!! We both agreed to stay in touch, during the first couple of months communications were ok, until out of the blue she decided to break off all contact. I sent her a few messages but no reply!!!!!! Ok I get the picture she had moved on. And I was moving on quite well myself dating and meeting new people. Now It was just the other day I received a message from her asking what was I up to, Ok! so i explained i just returned from a wedding and was planning on some sleep after a mental 24hr drinking session. She went on to make up some lie that she was near mine and that I should come and meet her, so I enquired about where she was not that I had any intention of going. She sent me through a post code which was nowhere near where I lived in fact it was the other side of London. Yeah exactly! So I just said look not being funny but its to far for me and like I said sleep was on the agenda. The reply was sympathetic by her standards Ok maybe another time then. I didn't reply that evening but I just said the next morning, that I hope she was ok and had a fun evening, the reply I got was sorry I shouldn't of sent that to you it should of never happened. It was a drunk message! Now after pondering it over in my head after a couple of days, I'm asking myself what does she actually want? Why message me after 9 months with no contact like this? The cheeky bitch who does she think she is? Or is there some other purpose to her madness. I have been happy with my life since we split and even if in a long shot she wanted it all back why would I ?????? After the **** she'd put me through. Anyways feedback is always welcome thats my 6am rant over.
TAV Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 (edited) Read up on bread crumbs in the breakup section. Oh, and having sex twice a week is NOT 'being starved of sex'. Fact. Edited May 7, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
soccerrprp Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 Stop trying to rationalize this to the point of concocting a reason to get back with her or meet her. She did you wrong, your efforts were not appreciated and frankly, as you know, you stayed with her longer than you should have. Cheating is an unforgivable offense for me. Continue to move on. 1
Author Eddiethemunster Posted May 7, 2014 Author Posted May 7, 2014 (edited) Read up on bread crumbs in the breakup section. Oh, and having sex twice a week is NOT 'being starved of sex'. Fact. I can't reconcile with a starved sex life tho, frakly twices a week is bad. Edited May 7, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author Eddiethemunster Posted May 7, 2014 Author Posted May 7, 2014 Stop trying to rationalize this to the point of concocting a reason to get back with her or meet her. She did you wrong, your efforts were not appreciated and frankly, as you know, you stayed with her longer than you should have. Cheating is an unforgivable offense for me. Continue to move on. Oh don't get me wrong there is no rationalizing here I have no intention of meeting with the nightmare!!!! What I should of mentioned is I was looking for a polite way or telling that I have moved on without sounding like a complete dick.
Smarty Pants Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 Oh don't get me wrong there is no rationalizing here I have no intention of meeting with the nightmare!!!! What I should of mentioned is I was looking for a polite way or telling that I have moved on without sounding like a complete dick. People who have moved on don't go out of there way to tell the other person. If you don't want to be in contact, then don't answer her. Simple as that 1
FredJones80 Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 Oh, and having sex twice a week is NOT 'being starved of sex'. Fact. I would tend to agree with you but depends how new the relationship is?
TAV Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 I would tend to agree with you but depends how new the relationship is? 2,5 yrs from what I read in the OP. The 'starving' occurred the last 6 mnths when things weren't going very smoothly. And it's not for me to judge how often the OP or anyone needs to get laid per week but when someone uses the term 'starved for sex' I assume about once a month or less, and crappy sex at that , not twice a week. This kind of exaggeration frankly makes me laugh. But back on topic. No contact it is then. And as FredJones indirectly indicated, may be good to move on too since with a new girlfriend your appetite for sex will usually be satisfied to the max. Good luck OP. 1
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