Take Married Name?

[Shepp]

I wouldnt change my name if the custom was reversed - its my my family, its where i come from!

 

Luckily my fiancée is happy to change to my name, she doesn't feel any family ties to her name so it doesn't mean anything to her! But because we weren't married, or engaged at that point, we double barrelled their names - so if she takes my name then we'll need to change their names but I dunno about doing that cause they're Jett-Shepherd on their birth certificate!

 

Messy basically!

who knows what we'll do!

[Smilecharmer]

My dad was an ass, my husband the best man I know, so it wasn't even a contest. Plus, I'm pretty traditional. They are all men's names anyway due to custom so I took the one I respected the most. His last name is really unique and cool though so we sound like a family of super secret spies....

I think you have to do what feels the most authentic for you.

[DKT3]

My wife (ex but its complicated) hypenated it. Her dad is semi famous in the business world and has no sons. Our kids also carry both names. I'm ok with it because its who they are. Plus the in-laws are pretty cool.

 

Names sound pretty good together.

 

I guess it could get for my little girl. Daughter moms maiden, mine, husbands. Ugh no foresight

Edited May 8, 2014 by DKT3
more info

[cocorico]

How do you folks feel about keeping your maiden name or taking your husband's name? I'm getting married in a few months and I'm going back and forth on it. I'm afraid I will feel lost with this new identity! But I want me and my husband to be a family and limit any confusion in the future (ie banking, buying a house, etc.). However, going through a name-change can be a bit of a hassel as i've heard.

 

I never liked he surname I grew up with (my father's surname). It was long, people always misspelled it and mispronounced it and made (incorrect) assumptions about who I was based on it. It also tied me to a past I was very happy to leave behind. When I M I took my H's name because it was a nice, easy, common name without any baggage. It was a convenient way for me to signal a break with the past and to change my name with minimal fuss.

[jenkruger]

Thanks everyone! I'm super excited we'll officially be a family and still get butterflies every time I hear our names together I think the traditional side of me will win out in the end

[ASG]

Where i'm from kids always get the surnames of both parents (mom first, dad last) I will do that with my kids.

 

I will not change my name if i get married. I like it and also, professionally It would not be good. Not opposed to adding, but there will be no changing.

[DeadEyedSuburbanite]

I kept my name, for a lot of reasons. First and foremost, it's my name and it's part of my identity. I've accomplished a lot under that name and I don't care to start over with a new one. Both my first and last names are quite unusual so there is probably only one of me in the world. Perhaps if I'd been born 'Sally Smith' I'd have a different viewpoint.

 

Also, changing my name would have been inconvenient with regards to drivers' licenses, passports, bank accounts, etc. I need a new passport soon and if I'd changed my name since the last one it would have been another unnecessary bother.

 

I would not have agreed to marry my husband if he'd insisted that I changed my name, but then I would probably not have fallen in love with a guy who'd require that.

[MuscleCarFan]

Pink_sugar didn't take my last name, which doesn't matter to me. I often get "Mr. [Pink_sugar's last name]..." "Sorry it's [my last name]." I am sure this happens a lot to other men who's wife didn't take their last name, LOL.

[daisydook]

I have never wanted to keep my last name. I love my last name, but always assumed when I got married, I would assume my husbands name.

[d0nnivain]

Pink_sugar didn't take my last name, which doesn't matter to me. I often get "Mr. [Pink_sugar's last name]..." "Sorry it's [my last name]." I am sure this happens a lot to other men who's wife didn't take their last name, LOL.

 

 

My husband gets that all the time. Our last names are very similar. He doesn't even bother correct people any more especially if we're in a setting (usually business) that is more "mine".

 

 

There are so many permeations any more of this issue & potential solutions, as long as both people are happy with the final decision, that's all that should matter.

[The Like Fairy]

 

I know a couple who chose to adopt a completely different surname on marriage--as in neither of their own, hyphenated or otherwise. They wanted something uniquely their own to denote their new family.

 

I thought it was pretty awesome...

 

I think that is pretty awesome too. Love it!!!! Best idea yet!

 

 

I kept my maiden name, never changed it. No biggie. Didn't correct anyone who called me his last name either. It was all good

 

 

Giving the child the Mother's maiden name as the child's middle name is becoming extremely common as well. That way her surname is remembered and continues.

 

I did that with both my sons and they love it. So they have a total of 4 names, first name, middle name, second middle name (my maiden name) and Daddy's last name.

 

If I could do it over, I would skip that 'first' middle name and just have my surname as their only middle name, so they'd have 3 names instead of 4 total........ But no biggie either way, hasn't caused any hassle or problems (4 names total). It just that in retrospect, my surname as their middle name is really the only middle name they needed.

 

Birth certificates CAN and DO accomodate 4 names (or more).

Edited May 9, 2014 by The Like Fairy

[nescafe1982]

I hate my (father's) last name: think a long and unpronounceable German name, and there I am.

 

However, I'm a professor and I'm published under that name. I'm the only person that publishes under that name.. and my current SO has a more vanilla surname.

 

Should I get married, I will probably go with the alias a la Donnvain: take his name in most circumstances, keep mine for publications/research purposes/teh Googles.

[devilish innocent]

I usually tend to be pretty progressive when it comes to these types of things, but I took my husband's last name. It just felt good to share a last name as a family. My husband said he didn't like my last name so I just took his.

 

I didn't think it was that much of a hassle to change my last name. It's supposed to be much more complex to change your name at other times than it is right after marriage. It's just a matter of visiting the social security office and doing some paperwork. Once you have a new social security card, the name change will be honored anywhere else.

 

I also kept my maiden name as a middle name, since I didn't have another one. That worked pretty well for me. It took a while to break the habit of signing with my old last name, so it was nice that I could just append the new last name to the end rather than crossing the whole thing out. I also could include my old last name on Facebook so people who knew me by that name could still find me.

[Tressugar]

I am literally The Last of the Mohicans. My father has asked me to keep my maiden name.

 

I too, as another poster on here has commented on how they have kept their maiden name for professional and legal reasons and only use their married name socially.

 

Another reason why I keep my maiden name, as most of you may know, I don't like sharing his last name with his ex wife. His ex wife still (illegally) uses his last name.

 

My husband's last name is so uncommon/rare/unique that I would hate to be accidentally associated with the low life otherwise known as his ex wife.