Setting Up Dates While on a Tight Schedule

[JackieChiles]

I've gone on three "dates" recently with a girl. We met online. The first was during the afternoon on a Wednesday where we met for drinks, and because we wouldn't have much of an opportunity for at least a week after that. The second ended up being nearly two weeks later, again for drinks. We met late night, and stayed out for about 3 hours and we ended up kissing at the end of the night. The third date was the following Friday (this past Friday), where once again we met out for drinks and wound up going to one of her friend's house and stayed up until about 4 AM. We slept in her friend's guest room, just kissed a bit and cuddled the whole night. She was legitimately on her period. The next morning the physical/playful touching continued. You know, the holding hands, cuddling, shoving, etc. We have been constantly texting each other for the last three weeks, with her initiating the contact as much if not more than me.

 

I guess first things first, it seems to be going well. We have a great chemistry and she is into me. But I'm having a tough time figuring out how to progress this. She lives with her parents, while I live in an apartment with a few people. No big deal there, but how do I not come of clingy here? Our schedules are tough. Really the only evenings that we both have free are Wednesdays and Sundays, although we are both available late nights quite a bit. If we meet on Wednesdays, it would be because I would skip kickball and the bar after with my friends. She works late usually, and two of the three times we've met she came straight to work to meet me, which I think is probably a good sign. She left her work one of the times early, too. She is a server at night, and passed up staying later at work and making more money in order to meet me out, just the two of us. But if I invite her to do something, and she can't, then what? I don't know if waiting over an entire week to see her again is the best idea, and I don't know if asking her out for another date when we are both free comes off as overbearing.

 

I guess I'm just not sure how to not come off clingy, which I'm really not. I'm pretty much the one that has to set up the next date, in my opinion. It's not like she can really invite me over to her place or anything. All three times we've gone to the bar, although at least they've all been different experiences. I casually invited her out after my softball game tomorrow to meet up with me and my friends at a bar yet again. We both agreed that we should try to do new things but there is nothing to really do besides the bar or restaurant when we are free. The weather is too cold outside right now. Should I just invite her over to my place for a late dinner or movie? I guess I've never really been in this spot because usually it's the other way around with me going to the girl's house, and I don't want her thinking that I only want sex, which I don't. She seems to be taking the dating scene a little bit cautious, I think she wants a relationship, not someone to bang her. This is her first foray into online dating.

 

Sorry for the long post, just hoping for some guidance. Thanks

Edited May 6, 2014 by JackieChiles

[d0nnivain]

. But if I invite her to do something, and she can't, then what? I don't know if waiting over an entire week to see her again is the best idea, and I don't know if asking her out for another date when we are both free comes off as overbearing.

 

 

Demanding that she rearrange her already tight schedule to suit your needs would be overbearing. Setting up something when you are both free sounds kind & understanding.

 

 

When I first started dating my husband, we both had two jobs; I actually had 3 plus I was taking care of my elderly parents. Free time was very rare indeed. We had all sorts of catch as catch can dates including breakfast, lunch, pop by somebody else's office & meet for 15 minutes if the other could take a quick break. Somehow we made it work.

 

 

Why wouldn't waiting a week be a good idea? You may be the bright spot that she's looking forward to in an otherwise overwhelming stress-filled week. Try looking at the positive rather than the negative.

[WhiteButton]

To me it sounds like you are asking for more time then her schedule will allow and feel that you cant progress it due to not being able to hang out enough. I can understand and i have been there.

 

You have options you work with her schedule and see how it continues ( i recommend this since it sounds like you guys are having fun) or you move on and find someone that will be able to give more time to dating.

[JackieChiles]

Thank you two for the responses. I ended up seeing her again on Wednesday, had a fun night as always, and we ended up kissing again at the end of the night.

 

The next day we text all day as always, and she says that we should snuggle sometime. So of course I say yes, and I say that she is always welcome to come over. She seems to like that idea, and I invite her over to my house after she's out of work sometime this weekend. She seems to like that idea.

 

She goes into work Friday night (tonight), and it's dead there, so she leaves early. She says how she wants to do something but not go out. I of course invite her over to my place, but she instead goes to a friends house. I expected that, as she works early in the morning. She is a straight forward and kind of a bust your balls type of a girl, and says something around the lines of "you're just trying to get lucky, aren't you." She then says "it can't happen yet though" for no real reason. I'm not really sure what that means, unless she's trying to see if I'm just a good guy or whatever. She doesn't really seem to be the "goodie two shoes" type, so I'm a little confused with that comment. She then says how she will be over tomorrow night and whatnot. What could she mean by that comment? I'm going to ask tomorrow, but are there any other reasons outside of her trying to figure out what kind of a person I am? She was on her period the last time we were together, so I get that. But it's not like I've been pushing for sex or anything. And I know she knows we're dating, and not in the friend zone or whatever. Again, I think she might be nervous about the whole online dating thing. Not sure.

 

Any help would be great. Thank you