bluegreen Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 I think common interests, values and ideals are more important than intelligence,apparently I have a high iq which is a drag really because most of the time i just feel retarded trying to understand how other people are thinking or feeling...i am a people puzzler.....sometimes i get it right and i never give up..... i have dated mainly guys who didn't do well at school, I taught one guy t read who couldn't be taught to read or do math, he was always in protection and defense mode with adults at school because adults abused him quite badly..........i am not with him anymore but he is a lifer friend.....I dont need a guy to be perfect intellectually for me to be happy...i just need a guy who loves me for me understands me when i fell retarded or i cry during movies or watching boxing, or refuse to sit and watch a movie in a cinema they dont get angry if i have to leave and want to leave with me, and cares enough to put a blanket over me at night when i am cold so i dont wake up like an icy pole, a guy who would stand beside me if i needed him to, and if a guy is there to help others find happiness and peace and always there for his friends...that to me is perfect........oooh and if he hates oysters that would help.......kidding....i really do hate oysters though......every guy i have dated has helped others,volunteered time and effort and worked for free to help others out, loves music and all of them were fighters most importantly they showed selflessness often, well they did with me and they were popular kids at school...i never was......i had a few friends thats it, never went to parties except my families birthdays and mine of course, read every book my family owned, i saved pocket money to buy books, a whole two dollars fifty a week...smilin...never minded when guys i went otu with called me brainiac.....because they said it with affection i seek those qualities every one of them believed there's more to life than what is here now, and that you help people as you journey on all of them didnt judge me by what i have been through..... i think you have to choose the guy that you can see yourself with for a very long time if that requires intelligence for you to be with them ....seek that too......if that is what you want and need to be happy.....best wishes...deb Man wish I can meet a guy with your mind set Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 Can he hold down a good job and be self-supporting? Is he a responsible citizen who treats others well? Does he try to make you happy? Is he open to learning new things? Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 lol. Most people know what the word 'hallucinogenics' mean right? Maybe I have it wrong assuming people would know those types of things, the other day I had a convo with a 24 year old who didn't know what wisdom teeth were :/ I didn't! - if you'd been like "LSD & Kat" I'd of known! He probably would of too - if you know about the subject and just not the word, does it really matter? I've actually got an a high IQ, but I'm not book smart - there's a difference! Haha the wisdom teeth thing is admittedly bad but I think we're all allowed a moment of stupidity here or there! My fiancée is the brightest person I know, without a doubt, but I was telling her the other day about this guy who'd had half his leg amputated to which she aked me "top or bottom half?"........yeah take a sec to think about that babe 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 There is no "Perfect, but... There's pros and cons. There's trade-offs and compromises. You have to decide what is important to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 but then later they will explain something to me that they have excellent intellectual grasp on, and really impress me. It really does just feel like they have a lack of general knowledge. Have never met anyone like this, and I have meet plenty of people from different backgrounds/walks of life- but with this I am constantly thinking 'how smart', followed by 'how stupid'. :? Tough one. I would have said that the bolded would make up for a lot for me, I love it when someone is passionate and knowledgable about something, regardless what it is. However, I couldn't go dating him thinking 'how stupid'. Most smart men I've been out with never come across stupid. There would be lack of knowledge on either side about certain things since you can't know everything about everything but when you think someone is being stupid, it usually implies lack of common sense or perhaps a narrow view of the world that allows a lot of general knowledge falls through the gaps. I don't think you are being tough, no, I just think you might struggle with finding an intellectual equal. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 but I was telling her the other day about this guy who'd had half his leg amputated to which she aked me "top or bottom half?"........yeah take a sec to think about that babe Hahaha now catching someone out like that is hilarious when they don't usually slip up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 My H isn't "book smart" but could build me a car, a toaster, a house, and weld me a bicycle. There are many different types of intelligence. It's up to you to decide if this is a deal breaker, or if you can be patient and show him some of your world . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 How do you party a lot and not know what hallucinogenics are? He's like the electrician on Seinfeld who didn't know what an outlet was. Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 There would be lack of knowledge on either side about certain things since you can't know everything about everything but when you think someone is being stupid, it usually implies lack of common sense or perhaps a narrow view of the world that allows a lot of general knowledge falls through the gaps. This is it! I'm know doctors are awful clever but do they know how to fix an engine? I built my house with my own hands but I wouldn't of know where to start wiring it! If we were dropped on an island I could start you a fire, i could catch fish - but I'd never be able to recite you poetry. Intelligence is a really broad word! This guy isn't unintelligent or he wouldn't be able to alk intelligently about some things - its just a case of whether yours and his intelligence is too different OP? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 Hahaha now catching someone out like that is hilarious when they don't usually slip up. Hahah yeah - it only makes you human! Link to post Share on other sites
Valen Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein "The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." - Albert Einstein. As others have pointed out "book-smart" does not equate intelligence. Being knowledgeable is no indication that you are smart, just that you have a good memory. Problem solving skills and the ability to create new ideas that has never been taught are better indicators of intelligence. Even Einstein felt that formal education was a hindrance to his learning. Most true geniuses are self-taught. Link to post Share on other sites
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