Can a person have a happy life without romantic relationships?

[JamesM]

Of course you can be happy, but that doesn't mean that all single people are happy even if they chose to be. It could simply be that they are avoiding the pain and vulnerability of a relationship.

 

Everyone's definition of happiness is different.

 

I know I could be happy if single because I tend to be a loner. My wife on the other hand needs companionship more than I do.

 

The reverse of your question implies that everyone (or most) who is in a relationship will be happy. You seem to think that only a few singles can be happy, while it is a given that most marrieds/coupled are happy. As you can read here, that is far from the truth.

 

The question is not if "a person" can have a happy life, but the question is can YOU have a happy life?

[Valen]

I am the same way. I was completely happy with my life before I entered into my current relationship. Like your brother says, there was no void.

 

If I lost my partner, I'd miss him like hell because I love him, but I wouldn't need another partner to take his place - I wouldn't go looking for another relationship, and I wouldn't care if I ever found someone else.

 

Good for you. Coming from a girl is even more impressive. I didn't think girls have the capacity not to feel the void since you girls are such emotional creatures.

[MissBee]

I have been pondering this....

 

I have never felt less desire to be in a relationship than I do now. I have felt emotionally "dead" for a long time and it's only getting worse. My break from dating has made me want to get back out there even less. I cringe when a guy even looks in my direction. I gave my number to someone recently and when he texted me I only remembered 2 days later that I never replied. I am so apathetic. I keep telling myself "You need to get back out there. You are not getting any younger."

 

BTW I never meet someone "when I least expect it", as in - in my life it hasn't happened even once. And I took long breaks from dating before.

 

So when I say make a decision not to date, I am not really saying "make a decision not to date, and then because I am not looking I am just going to magically meet a guy in a random place blah blah". When I don't look, I don't find. I prefer solitary activities and meeting new people is very rare. Meeting new single men is even more rare. So for me to meet someone I need to make a concious effort to "get out there".

 

If I made a decision not to date ever again, right here, right now - I feel free and releived. So why not? Because society tells me that it's "normal" to be a couple? I actually feel happy with my life if I took the meeting men part out.

 

Discuss.

 

 

I think it's perfectly fine if someone feels this way.

 

It is more of a problem for other people who may project on to you that fear of being alone/desire to be coupled so may constantly ask you about it...but all you have to do is ignore them.

 

I think it is indeed possible to be happy without being romantically involved and it's not rare either.

[littleplanet]

My immediate response to your question would be:

 

It depends on how romantic you are.

Some people just aren't romantic.

 

Maybe that sounds too simplistic. But we are all what we are, by nature.

Following any convention in particular can be pointless, if we don't happen to agree with that convention.

 

Yet romance follows a pretty powerful biological roadmap (which is why it is such a powerful convention.)

 

But then there's that alone thing. Again - the convention says that this is solved by a coupling mechanism.

But if that doesn't work.....one can always be unconventional.

Which is where the creativity comes in (although the standard often practised is friends - not friends with benefits - just friends.)

People sometimes seem to forget that the most powerful relationships in life can easily be.......friendships.

(Personally, I like how that works with a "significant" other. But that's just me.)

 

One thing I've always deplored is this whole hocus-pocus voodoo-hoodoo heebie-jeebie new age idea that people have "relationships" with themselves.

A dinner set for one? Wine and roses?

Followed up by a full-length mirror. Narcissus applauds above the soft music.

 

But seriously. Back to my first comment. Society dictates that we should all be naturally romantic. And if we buck that trend? Then romance is just a turn-off.

 

I think I always was the kind of person for whom romance grew out of a powerful friendship. Friendship first.....then the rest followed. Liking can kick loving to the curb until it learns how to obey the rules. I like that.

 

It says an awful lot that a decision to not date makes you feel free and relieved. If that is your personal choice and makes you happier, I'd say it's a no-brainer.

When you're in control of your own life, you get to call the shots.

You are your own best judge as to whether you're selling yourself short, or not.

[hotpotato]

I have gone out to eat by myself many times. I sometimes had wine, too. Maybe next time ill treat myself to flowers!

[Valen]

I think some people are confusing being single with being alone. People who are happy single has friends. You don't have to eat alone or do everything alone just because you are single. Being single also don't mean you stop having sex either. People hook up nowadays. Being single now means you are not committed to anyone and you're not making any emotional investing into a relationship. You just have freedom to do whatever you want.

[iiiii]

Good for you. Coming from a girl is even more impressive. I didn't think girls have the capacity not to feel the void since you girls are such emotional creatures.

 

Guess I'm just weird.

 

Like you say, though, being single doesn't mean you are lonely or alone. I'm not the type of person who craves constant social interaction, but when I do need it, I have siblings and parents, I have a handful of amazing long term friends, I am "aunty" to some awesome kids, I have hobbies and a career, and I have a super cool dog. Even when I was single, I was never lonely.