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Can a person have a happy life without romantic relationships?

Eternal Sunshine

By Eternal Sunshine
in General Relationship Discussion

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

Posted
Posted

I have been pondering this....

 

I have never felt less desire to be in a relationship than I do now. I have felt emotionally "dead" for a long time and it's only getting worse. My break from dating has made me want to get back out there even less. I cringe when a guy even looks in my direction. I gave my number to someone recently and when he texted me I only remembered 2 days later that I never replied. I am so apathetic. I keep telling myself "You need to get back out there. You are not getting any younger."

 

BTW I never meet someone "when I least expect it", as in - in my life it hasn't happened even once. And I took long breaks from dating before.

 

So when I say make a decision not to date, I am not really saying "make a decision not to date, and then because I am not looking I am just going to magically meet a guy in a random place blah blah". When I don't look, I don't find. I prefer solitary activities and meeting new people is very rare. Meeting new single men is even more rare. So for me to meet someone I need to make a concious effort to "get out there".

 

If I made a decision not to date ever again, right here, right now - I feel free and releived. So why not? Because society tells me that it's "normal" to be a couple? I actually feel happy with my life if I took the meeting men part out.

 

Discuss.

  • Like 7
ASG Established Member

ASG

Posted
Posted

In my opinion, you don't need a relationship to be happy at all!

 

I am quite happy being single and have been single most of my life. At one point, I was single for about 7/8 years. I dated a couple of guys during that time, but nothing serious (I would still answer NO if my mom asked me if I had met anyone).

 

The only reason *I* want a relationship is because I want to have kids. I will not be ok if that doesn't happen in my life. I am also prepared to do it on my own, but will need to be more financially stable for that to happen.

  • Like 5
ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

Posted
Posted

A person absolutely can be happy without a romantic relationship if that's what they know they can live with. Likely you don't really have a problem with being alone as you seem to find it normal to be solitary and I can relate to this. Its not quite the same for mr as I, as an individual, need to interact with others to be mentally stimulated, but generally I don't feel as though I NEED to be in a romantic relationship to be happy. I have goals that I consider more pressing, and I'm sure you feel the same.

 

In my opinion, you have to channel your energy into your passions more and you will find life more fulfilling in general, with or without a partner. So you'll be fine IMO.

 

For me, that is what I plan on doing.

  • Like 3
Els Established Member

Els

Posted
Posted

Live the life that you want to live, not the one that other people feel you should.

 

I've made 'abnormal'/unpopular choices before (still am, actually), and as long as I'm being true to myself and not hurting anyone else in the process, I find it's the best route to take. I can understand the crappy feeling of peer/societal pressure, though.

  • Like 11
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted

Can a person have a happy life without romantic relationships?

 

Yes, if they truly believe they can.

 

If you are tired of dating and really feel that you don't need a man in your life. Then by all means stay single.

 

Yes society wants people to be in pairs. All you can do is try to not let it bother you.

Allumere Established Member

Allumere

Posted
Posted

Of course you can be happy. I think it comes down to a different word....open. If you are simply happy living life and being open to what each day brings then you have got it all. You live and appreciate the moment, not weighing it down with expectations. It doesn't mean "no" to a romantic relationship, it simply means you aren't going to use it as a measuring stick for having a quality, happy life. Some folks are great at this, others (ah...me) not so much as it is something I desire and enjoy. I would never look at someone and think they were weird or odd if being in a romantic relationship was not a priority. If they are happy why would it matter.

  • Like 2
Harradin Established Member

Harradin

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Posted

I'm happy single, I don't understand why people put so much emphasis on "you're not successful/happy unless you're in a relationship."

 

99% of the time I'm emotionally "dead." Atm I'm crushing on a girl but I plan on asking her out when the time is right and getting it over and done with.

 

So yeah, a person can have a happy life without romantic relationships.

  • Like 1
Grumpybutfun Established Member

Grumpybutfun

Posted
Posted

I have an old friend who has been single his entire life. I believe he is forty two...or somewhere around my age. He isn't odd or ugly or anything, just likes his solitude and generally is in his head a lot. He is a scientist and he does some great work in epidemiology. In all the years I have known him I haven't ever heard him say he regrets anything. He has expressed that he would like to have sex more but it is in a kind of manner one would say, I would like to eat more apples. My wife used to want to set him up on dates but I disagreed as I respect his choices and think he is one of the happiest, well adjusted men I know. He once had a gf, way back when we were in college, but he was so apathetic about her in general I think she just moved on one day and I'm not sure he noticed it right away. It was really an interesting social aspect I had never seen before...he just didn't seem to care or notice. He does Ironman with me and we travel a lot with two other men who are thrill seekers, but for the most part he keeps to himself. He is a good man and my wife says it is a shame since he would make a great spouse and dad. I don't agree though...he seems peaceful and serene and if he doesn't feel he is missing out, neither do I.

You get to make your life whatever you want. It is your one life and you will only regret it if you aren't true to your desires.

Grumps

  • Like 3
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
I have an old friend who has been single his entire life. I believe he is forty two...or somewhere around my age. He isn't odd or ugly or anything, just likes his solitude and generally is in his head a lot. He is a scientist and he does some great work in epidemiology. In all the years I have known him I haven't ever heard him say he regrets anything. He has expressed that he would like to have sex more but it is in a kind of manner one would say, I would like to eat more apples. My wife used to want to set him up on dates but I disagreed as I respect his choices and think he is one of the happiest, well adjusted men I know. He once had a gf, way back when we were in college, but he was so apathetic about her in general I think she just moved on one day and I'm not sure he noticed it right away. It was really an interesting social aspect I had never seen before...he just didn't seem to care or notice. He does Ironman with me and we travel a lot with two other men who are thrill seekers, but for the most part he keeps to himself. He is a good man and my wife says it is a shame since he would make a great spouse and dad. I don't agree though...he seems peaceful and serene and if he doesn't feel he is missing out, neither do I.

You get to make your life whatever you want. It is your one life and you will only regret it if you aren't true to your desires.

Grumps

 

I know a guy like this as well...He's a genius...Lives in a tiny trailer and does some of the most technical and sophisticated stuff, yet never says a word about a woman and I have known him for more than 20 years....He actually seems very happy...Has the stuff he likes and doesnt give a shyt about all of the things surrounding a relationship...I dont think hes gay either...More likely to be asexual...

 

It can be done...and many people do it every day..

 

TFY

Smilecharmer Established Member

Smilecharmer

Posted
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Is it because you really are apathetic and don't want anyone or because you can't find what you are looking for? Also, what about kids? Do you want them and if so, would you be ok raising them on your own? I mean, it is done all the time but is that what you want? No judgment here...I just wonder if this is truly a decision you are making because you really like being alone or if you are just tired of being disappointed with dating because you aren't finding what you want.

TheNoBSBuddhist Established Member

TheNoBSBuddhist

Posted
Posted

Absolutely. Never doubt it.

TheNoBSBuddhist Established Member

TheNoBSBuddhist

Posted
Posted
I know a guy like this as well...He's a genius...Lives in a tiny trailer and does some of the most technical and sophisticated stuff, yet never says a word about a woman and I have known him for more than 20 years....He actually seems very happy...Has the stuff he likes and doesnt give a shyt about all of the things surrounding a relationship...I dont think hes gay either...More likely to be asexual...

 

It can be done...and many people do it every day..

 

TFY

 

Why do people who do not have sex, have to be 'asexual'?

 

Can they not just be celibate?

 

I know many Buddhist monks and please believe me, abstaining from sex makes you neither asexual or strange.

it makes you abstain from sex.

 

Besides, you don't know for sure that occasionally, he does not entertain a young lady, even if it is one "of easy Virtue"....

Weezy1973 Established Member

Weezy1973

Posted
Posted

I'm going to say very few people would consider a life without a romantic relationship to be a full, rich life.

 

I think as humans we crave that special connection that only comes from a romantic, sexual relationship. Sure, family and friends are important - but it's certainly not the same.

 

Keep in mind that I said full, rich life. The quest for happiness is not always the best idea. Desiring a full and rich life - with all the ups and downs that such a life brings, is the way to go.

 

OP, I don't think you would be happy without a romantic relationship. Letting go of your desire for one is you trying to rid yourself of the anger and frustration that has been your romantic life (or lack thereof) recently.

 

We are always better striving for something, despite the possible negative emotions involved, than running from things that might cause negative emotions.

 

Not to say taking a break from dating every now and then isn't a good idea either...

Fluttershy Established Member

Fluttershy

Posted
Posted

It isn't society that pairs people it is human nature. We couple because it is natural instinct to do so. Humans As a rule need companionship pf some sort. How we couple has been formed over the years and rules and such have emerged but the desire to e with someone isn't created by society. Society gets a lot of blame for a lot of things but sometimes it really is human nature.

 

But not everyone has the same desires and strong pulls. So if you want to be with someone don't blame society. Blame eing human.

 

As to the question. Of course you can have a full and happy life without a romantic relationship. Travel, hobbies, career. All these things a person can be married to. I don't think you have to make some sort of descision or oath to never date again though. I think you just stop thinking about it and focus on doing the things you enjoy.

  • Like 2
EasyHeart Established Member

EasyHeart

Posted
Posted

I think the answer is absolutely YES.

 

BUT. . . you alluded to the big problem, which is social acceptance. A lot of people feel threatened when other people make different choices than they did. It's been my observation that women face huge pressure to always be coupled. Men face it, too, but it's a lot less because most of that pressure comes from women. I can't ever remember a man asking me if I'm dating anyone; men are more inclined to talk about work or sports or politics than anything having to do with relationships. But women talk about it all the time. All. The. Time. They ask me about it, but most of that stuff is reserved for women-women interactions. I honestly feel bad for women because of all the social pressure that's put upon them by other women.

 

So you'd have to be psychologically prepared for that. And have some stock answers ready for when the questions inevitably come up. And you have to be ready to deal with the fact that some people will always end up being very upset that you are choosing to do something out of the mainstream of social acceptance.

SadNLonley Established Member

SadNLonley

Posted
Posted

If you are completely content being single then there really should be nothing to think more about. Enjoy life!

 

I, on the other hand, do feel happier with a partner in my life. I have been single now 10 months and am learning some of the things that are nice that I can do by myself.

 

There is a good side to being single, but I prefer the side of having a significant other. I love love! I enjoy sex and passion and the cuddling.

 

To each his own though.

Imported Established Member

Imported

Posted
Posted

When have you been the most happiest in your life?

hotpotato Established Member

hotpotato

Posted
Posted

Yes, someone can be happy without romantic relationship.

 

Relationships are not for everyone. Some people are happier without them.

Valen Established Member

Valen

Posted
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If you have to ask the question, then the answer is "No".

 

Of course a person can be happy without a relationship, Nikola Tesla is an example. Also my little brother is another example. He had a relationship once and he realize it wasn't for him and never look back. He is happy doing his own thing. I once ask him "How could you not want a relationship?" And his response was "For most people, they feel a void when they are not with someone, I don't feel that void. I feel complete on my own." That was 10 yrs ago when I ask him that question. Well he is still single and happy. And how do I know he doesn't crave relationships? He never ever brings up that subject. He only talks about his other passions like science, technology, and his hobbies.

  • Like 2
wrenmatrix Member

wrenmatrix

Posted
Posted

I don't think anybody can live a happy life without romantic relationship.

RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

Posted
Posted

After my fiancée died, I went through a phase when I felt fairly frantic about finding another relationship. Mostly because I just really missed that emotional intimacy... not because I felt I really NEEDED to be in a relationship.

 

 

I still feel that way now, wanting that emotional intimacy... but I'm just as apathetic about actually finding one these days that I can feel happy about and thrive within. I've had a couple of decent relationships since he died, but nothing I'd write home about.

 

 

Anyway, dating these days is pretty gross. I don't blame you for feeling apathetic at all.

 

 

... it isn't relationships *I* am apathetic about...it's dating that I find boring and uninspiring. I haven't stopped trying to meet new people. I would do that anyway. I just don't knock myself out trying to impress guys and I'm not letting anyone make me feel like I've got some kind of dating clock ticking.

 

 

Just do what guys do. They don't seem all that worried about it. *shrug*

  • Like 3
gaius Established Member

gaius

Posted
Posted

Sure you can be happy but you're forsaking a lot of what life has to offer. And life doesn't last forever.

iiiii Established Member

iiiii

Posted
Posted
If you have to ask the question, then the answer is "No".

 

Of course a person can be happy without a relationship, Nikola Tesla is an example. Also my little brother is another example. He had a relationship once and he realize it wasn't for him and never look back. He is happy doing his own thing. I once ask him "How could you not want a relationship?" And his response was "For most people, they feel a void when they are not with someone, I don't feel that void. I feel complete on my own." That was 10 yrs ago when I ask him that question. Well he is still single and happy. And how do I know he doesn't crave relationships? He never ever brings up that subject. He only talks about his other passions like science, technology, and his hobbies.

 

I am the same way. I was completely happy with my life before I entered into my current relationship. Like your brother says, there was no void. :)

 

If I lost my partner, I'd miss him like hell because I love him, but I wouldn't need another partner to take his place - I wouldn't go looking for another relationship, and I wouldn't care if I ever found someone else.

  • Like 1
iris219 Established Member

iris219

Posted
Posted

Some people are happier without romantic relationships.

 

My mother swore she'd never remarry and she didn't. She's barely even dated (in over 30 years). She hated being married and has always been happier on her own.

 

I'd be fine without a relationship IF I had children.

Frank2thepoint Established Member

Frank2thepoint

Posted
Posted

Being single is great, and has its own rewards. From being able to pursue hobbies, discover new hobbies, reorganize your life, and tackle issues to work on and better yourself (ie: finances, health, etc.). But I am not emotionally dead, I still have a healthy craving for a meaningful relationship. Unfortunately, finding a woman that would be good for me is not easy, because as I've gotten older, I've refined my requirements for a romantic partner. I don't take just any pretty face aboard like I did in my youth. I need a connection; emotional, intellectual, and physical. Until I find a woman that fits the bill, I'll remain single, with no qualms about it.

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