I have a crash on my boyfriend's friend

[Peny]

Ok so this is a bit complicated, sorry for the long message but I think is necessary. I am in a relationship of 4 years, I have 2 kids who have been trying to get adjusted to the relationship, things are not perfect but better than before. My boyfriend and I are very different in personalities, goals and desires but some how we have manage to be together for this long because we respect each others differences. He is very caring and loving person with me but it has taken a long time to adjust to my kids. He is compassionate, loyal and fair in general, however we never got that spark sexually since we meet. I recently find out he is addicted to porn and that has put down a lot on our relationship, we don't get intimated very often although we both are only 36 years old. I been feeling very anxious and I been having dreams with a guy who works with him. I always have a crush on him but I been very discreet about it for respect to my boyfriend and because this guy also have a long term girlfriend, they don't live together but he sees her like 2 times per week. Anyways, lately I can't stop thinking about him and some how I feel like I call him on my subconscious because we been seen him a lot lately. At one point I told him about my crash for him but it was in a bar and was very loud so I don't know if he even hear me. He seem like nothing happened that night but the next day he text me and ask me to go to a party. He never text me so I want to think he did hear me the night before but I don't know; he just don't know how. Lately we have become more friends, the 3 of us. He come to our house, we go out for drinks, movies, etc. but he hasn't mention one word from that night. I do see few changes on his behaviour but I don't know if is because we are just becoming more friends or because he likes me back. For example: he complements on my hair or my food, he give me his chair when we are out, he ask for suggestions on purchases and he stares at me a lot, also every time we say hi or goodbye, he give me long hugs but in the other hand he also talks more about his girlfriend than before and always talk to my boyfriend about the cute girls from work, he some times ignores me if other girl is in the room and stare at her instead. So all those mix signals have me very confused. I think my boyfriend is starting to notice my excitement when he is around and now he is becoming very defensive but no one have say nothing. I am in a huge dilemma because I really like this guy and I think he likes me back but his mix signals are tricky. He is a shy guy in general so I don't know if he is just being friendly and want to know my bf better or he likes me but he is boundaries for respect to his girlfriend and my bf. I am too shy to say anything anymore, I also don't want to make my bf feel uncomfortable but our relationship is so boring, we have spoke about it on how to fix it but nothing gets done, we are in a routine that have both of us so empty at the end of the day that non of us take the initiative to change our way of doing things for the health of our relationship. Help! What should I do?

Edited May 3, 2014 by Peny