NezzyGuda Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 Okay, so I was dating my ex for 2 years. She finally broke up with me for a guy she never got over. We had broke up 3 times before for short periods of time because she was trying to be with him again. This time she is leaving for college elsewhere and just wants something with no emotional ties so she wants to go have sex with this same guy (who also was my bestfriend). She wants to this because she wants to see what it would have been like if they would have actually got back together, but basically she still just wants to have sex with him anyway she can. She tells me all of the time when I tal to her. She was able to easily get rid of me because I wasn't showing her enough attention because she is in high school and I'm overwhelmed with schoolwork from college. She was constantly attacking me over my characteristics and how I was making no effort but I took her places and tried to be there for her but I didn't hang out with her often, mainly because she would just treat me poorly when I tried to hang out with her. Now she finally broke up with me and I can't stop telling her how terrible of a person she is for putting me through all of this and talking to this guy again and choosing him over me even though she keeps telling me she loves me. It hurts so much and I just want to get over her and simply stop being so mad at her and attacking her and wanting to know what she's up to because I don't want her to have sex with this guy, but she has her heart set on it. It hurts an I can't stop or control myself. I've tried everything but nothing is working. And I can't stop looking for answers to pointless questions. I just want it all to stop but I can't stop it. I really have no other choice but to ask for help. I know many people will try to give me advice, but I honestly don't know what I need. I really want someone to explain this to me and help me from this terrible place I'm in. I need help, I deeply need help.
Chi townD Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 By constantly attacking her and telling her what a horrible person she is, then the ONLY thing your doing is giving her permission to forgive herself and do what she's going to do anyway. She's probably thinking to herself, "Well, if he's going to treat me like this, then I'm glad I got rid of his ass!" Look there's nothing you can do, if she's got her mind set on being with this guy, then she's going to be with him whether you like it or not. So, the only thing you CAN do is take back the power she has over you. Take control of the only thing you can control and that's you! By reading your post, it sounds like she always had on foot out the door. She was always on you because she was probably always comparing you to this other dude. She was never as committed to you as you were of her. I have a feeling if things were great between the two of you while you were dating but if this guy called her out of the blue and asked her out on a date, she would drop you in a second. Now, how is that fair to you? So, from this point on, you go strict NO CONTACT (NC) on her. You need to block her on Facebook and unfollow her on all social media. Do not call her or text her. If she calls or texts, ignore it! Do not respond! There's no need to. You are not her friend and she decided to have you out of her life. Therefore, there's no reason to contact you. Take back the power you gave her. 2
Author NezzyGuda Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 (edited) Thank you very much, I don't want to be this ******* I'm becoming. Thank you for the thoughtful advice, I did it, but I just hope I can endure my fits of rage. Thank you again. And you are entirely right, that's how she was, it just made no sense how she could sit there and keep telling me she still loves me more than him. The lies just start to really get to me after awhile. Edited May 2, 2014 by NezzyGuda 1
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