love1336x Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 I've been feeling my heart is really "cracked". I mean I don't miss any of my exes, nor do I wish to ever be with them, but when comes to new people in my life, I feel my heart is made out of stone when comes to loving people. It's hard to explain... My first two loves I felt my heart was OPEN. I felt that my love was PURE and I could do anything... and simply trust! But, I've dated this new guy for the past six months, and my heart doesn't feel as open. I feel numb. I am attached to him. I adore him, but the love i have feels strange... doesn't feel as good It feels tainted by first two men. It feels reluctant. I want to let down my guard, but my stone heart like, "Nope. Why? What for? Do you know how long it took you to be sane again?" Maybe it's the connection between isn't as strong as my first two loves? I would hate to live the rest of my life this way, never fulling loving a man because i am afraid of the outcome... :/
ebt100 Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 There is a new song out called "Girls Chase Boys" with the lyrics: "All the broken hearts in the world still beat, let's not make this harder than it has to be..." In a full-blown scarring of the heart (a heart attack), the heart either undergoes fibrillation (leading to death without intervention), or it doesn't and people can recover. You're still here typing. Chances are you will recover. 2
Reels Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 Yes, it is a lifetime scar. It affirms that there are some mistakes, that can make you regret, whole life.
L1ght Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 (edited) No. Absolutely not. We really do get over the trauma eventually and the memories just become like dreams......are dreams like scars? The truth is that if someone stays out of our lives for long enough they become like strangers, square one, nobody, nada. I couldn't give a toss about my ex now. The only thing that matters to me now are the things I personally feel internally and that stuff has nothing to do with my ex. There was a time when I didn't want things to come to this but its too late. My eyes wander and my hunger for a new lady in my life gets stronger every day. I have a feeling she is right around the corner because when things are good women come easily....well from my perspective that is. Edited May 2, 2014 by L1ght 5
Jingle14 Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I think it can, yes. It has in my case and I wasn't young when it happened - I was 46 and had been married for 23 years. The man after my husband crushed me. 3 years on, I wouldn't say I'm 'over it' - it was significant, important, life changing and I've shed many, many tears - but I am accepting. However, I am also harder, more guarded, far, far less trusting and much less inclined to fall for BS or to give people a chance. Life's too short, I now realise, to accept sh**, from anyone. I've been single since and I simply don't see that changing - my heart is closed and numb. But I'm happier single, relationships are just far too much trouble, much more than they are worth.
Jingle14 Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 No. Absolutely not. We really do get over the trauma eventually and the memories just become like dreams......are dreams like scars? The truth is that if someone stays out of our lives for long enough they become like strangers, square one, nobody, nada. I couldn't give a toss about my ex now. The only thing that matters to me now are the things I personally feel internally and that stuff has nothing to do with my ex. There was a time when I didn't want things to come to this but its too late. My eyes wander and my hunger for a new lady in my life gets stronger every day. I have a feeling she is right around the corner because when things are good women come easily....well from my perspective that is. I couldn't disagree more - when you have truly and deeply loved someone, that can never, ever be the case. I would love for it to be so, but I know my ex, whom I adored and loved with every fibre in my body, will always be a weak point for me, an Achilles Heel. I haven't seen him to speak to since November, surprising as we live in the same (small) neighbourhood, and I always get that punch in my stomach whenever I do, or see his car. I often drive out of my way to avoid the chance of that happening. 1
TAV Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 Yes, it leaves a scar. It is true. It's a life lesson you will never forget and that will influence you choice of relationships in the future. The last is not a bad thing. Give yourself time to heal, to let the crack become a scar. I think you are jumping into something new too soon. Your feeling of numbness is telling you, you are not ready yet. Try to focus on other things in life; study, sport, interests you always wanted to explore, your non-romantic friends. One day you will run into someone and you will notice your heart is open once more. Changed but open. And who knows; maybe the love you find then is much deeper and more beautiful than the one you had before. Trust me, it is going to happen. 3
SadNLonley Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I would like to know as well. My entire life, I had a wall built to protect myself from getting too hurt. I was married for 15 years and as I loved him, he never fully broke down that wall around my heart. When we divorced I met a man that did. He tore down that wall and opened my heart to something amazing. I never thought it would ever happen. Problem is, he also crushed it 3 years later. 10 months after the breakup I still feel literally a pain in my heart. Dont know that it will ever heal completely to the point of being able to love like that again, but I am hoping I get a chance to try. Even after the heartbreak Im still going through, I believe in Love and pray that I get another chance. 4
Jingle14 Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I would like to know as well. My entire life, I had a wall built to protect myself from getting too hurt. I was married for 15 years and as I loved him, he never fully broke down that wall around my heart. When we divorced I met a man that did. He tore down that wall and opened my heart to something amazing. I never thought it would ever happen. Problem is, he also crushed it 3 years later. 10 months after the breakup I still feel literally a pain in my heart. Dont know that it will ever heal completely to the point of being able to love like that again, but I am hoping I get a chance to try. Even after the heartbreak Im still going through, I believe in Love and pray that I get another chance. I couldn't not comment on this! I truly could've written these words myself but I was married for 23 years, only with the one after for 10 months and still not over it fully 3 years on. I truly empathise. Good luck to you x 1
SadNLonley Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 only with the one after for 10 months and still not over it fully 3 years on. I truly empathise. Good luck to you x Im so sorry you still feel this way 3 years later. I hope and pray this feeling goes away soon. To literally feel pain and heaviness in my heart is odd. I didnt know you could have physical issues from a broken heart. Now I know. I hope your feelings get better soon! 1
L1ght Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 (edited) I couldn't disagree more - when you have truly and deeply loved someone, that can never, ever be the case. I would love for it to be so, but I know my ex, whom I adored and loved with every fibre in my body, will always be a weak point for me, an Achilles Heel. I haven't seen him to speak to since November, surprising as we live in the same (small) neighbourhood, and I always get that punch in my stomach whenever I do, or see his car. I often drive out of my way to avoid the chance of that happening. Well we can only go on our own experiences I guess. My first real love dates back to about 15 years ago and for the first few years after breaking up I held onto stuff but seriously so much changes in life when you don't have any interaction with someone for a long period of time. I saw her 2 Christmas's ago and I didn't feel anything and in fact I knew right away when I saw her that I would never ever want to get back with her again. I just think it depends on what you want personally...you have a choice to hold on to things or you can make an effort to leave things behind. Besides, I'm not scarred by my memories of being with her......I only remember the good now from that period of time. The happy memories stay with me, the bad memories are insignificant now. Edited May 5, 2014 by L1ght 2
Recommended Posts