clia Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Try Meetup.com. Look for groups aimed at people in their 40s. You'll meet a ton of people. 2
central Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Statistically, the article may be true, but individual experiences will vary a lot. Much depends on what you bring to the potential relationship, too. In most dating, patience is required. You also have to be open to meeting a lot of men to find one who is a great match. Don't automatically rule out someone up to 10 years older (or maybe even younger!), because many are good matches and "catches" and some are in better health (physical and mental) and better shape than men your age. When you actually find compatibility, age matters less (within reason). Don't hesitate to end things with anyone who isn't a good match - the sooner you do so, the sooner you can meet the next one. 2
Author Elle1975 Posted May 1, 2014 Author Posted May 1, 2014 Statistically, the article may be true, but individual experiences will vary a lot. Much depends on what you bring to the potential relationship, too. In most dating, patience is required. You also have to be open to meeting a lot of men to find one who is a great match. Don't automatically rule out someone up to 10 years older (or maybe even younger!), because many are good matches and "catches" and some are in better health (physical and mental) and better shape than men your age. When you actually find compatibility, age matters less (within reason). Don't hesitate to end things with anyone who isn't a good match - the sooner you do so, the sooner you can meet the next one. My ex is turning 46 soon and I have absolutely no problem with it. Or didn't should I say. Even though I can lose some weight, I am active, and really don't want to let myself go. Since I am single, I do recognize I need to change my strategy toward dating, and life in general. Nothing wrong with admitting our mistakes.
Under The Radar Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT MEETUP.COM !! NEWS FLASH!!!! It only works in LARGE METRO AREAS!!!!! Does this mean we're not on for ball tomorrow at 2PM? 2
SadNLonley Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 so glad to see people my age out there. I know there are single men out there in my age group, but finding them is the big question. Im 43, not bad looking if you ask me, financially stable, 2 kids, own a home. Doesnt seem like a bad catch, but what I am finding in OLD is that the men I seem interested in, dont seem to feel the same way. I think OLD is good for some, and not so much for others. Maybe Im not one of them. Im hoping to actually meet someone in person. I get out with friends, but its not like we are out there just waiting for someone to approach. Its a bit different in the 40's meeting someone than in your 20's where a bar is a great place to meet. I'm not actively pursuing it right now, Im hoping it kind of falls in my lap. Just kind of happens. I am afraid though just like so many others that I will end up alone. I guess people of any age probably wonder about that.
SadNLonley Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Same here...except I dont have kids. But obviously none of what I offer is a selling point to women in my area. Having a good job, a car, being financially stable, and no baggage gets you nowhere. Drinking, partying, being an egotistical jerk, not holding a job, and thinking you are hot-sh%t is what women find attractive around here. I have to say that I think I do need to find a man attractive but at our age there are so many other things to consider. That is one thing that scares me. I now am not just thinking about me. I have my kids to think about as well. Once divorced I think the whole dating game changes.
Author Elle1975 Posted May 1, 2014 Author Posted May 1, 2014 I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT MEETUP.COM !! NEWS FLASH!!!! It only works in LARGE METRO AREAS!!!!! lol.. I looked that up and most groups are full of women in their 50s. Update though! I am signed up at the Y! (a nice gym with pool, sauna, etc..). I am so excited!! This is going to be great! It's a treat that I have always wanted to enjoy (the ex thought it was too expensive). On my way to get another A btw.. hehe
d0nnivain Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Part of it is you have to try a variety of different approaches. Go to networking events in your industry or try chamber of commerce meetings. You will at least get good business tips & you just might make a new friend or two. Yes, MeetUp works better in large cities but there still may be other local groups by you. At the very least you need to smile & shake up your routine. Also be aware of the people you see -- or have the potential to see -- routinely. Who eats lunch where you do? Who's around when you get your morning coffee? Ask your friends to fix you up. They may have brothers or cousins, or husbands / BFs with single buddies. Take or teach a class. Go speed dating. Take a singles cruise. Volunteer doing something you care about. Get involved in an alumni association; you already have something in common with these people. Join something like the B.P.O. Elks or the Lions or the Kiwanis to do some charity work. They aren't all old men's drinking clubs anymore. Get involved in your church. Join a co-ed team sport of some sort. Check out specialized singles groups. I joined one where people could bring their pets. I met my husband before I could attend but there are ones that host wine tasting dinners & set you to play golf. Pick an interest -- there's probably a singles group for it.
Eddie Edirol Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 You can easily start dating again. But you have to date within your league, and you have to be realistic of what that league is. You can go to bars and see what guys talk to you, you dont have to have one night stands. If you want better looking guys talking to you, you have to work for it.
MidwestUSA Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 52 here. Divorced at 43 and jumped into OLD too soon. Usually managed to find guys right around my age. Had two short relationships, then gave up on OLD at 50. Shortly after, met my man out of the blue (via a Facebook connection). He was 45. We married a year later. Keep yourself healthy and in shape, and put yourself out there. Don't get too caught up in OLD if you must try it at all. Don't take anything in life too seriously. Good luck! 1
Author Elle1975 Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 Part of it is you have to try a variety of different approaches. Go to networking events in your industry or try chamber of commerce meetings. You will at least get good business tips & you just might make a new friend or two. Yes, MeetUp works better in large cities but there still may be other local groups by you. At the very least you need to smile & shake up your routine. Also be aware of the people you see -- or have the potential to see -- routinely. Who eats lunch where you do? Who's around when you get your morning coffee? Ask your friends to fix you up. They may have brothers or cousins, or husbands / BFs with single buddies. Take or teach a class. Go speed dating. Take a singles cruise. Volunteer doing something you care about. Get involved in an alumni association; you already have something in common with these people. Join something like the B.P.O. Elks or the Lions or the Kiwanis to do some charity work. They aren't all old men's drinking clubs anymore. Get involved in your church. Join a co-ed team sport of some sort. Check out specialized singles groups. I joined one where people could bring their pets. I met my husband before I could attend but there are ones that host wine tasting dinners & set you to play golf. Pick an interest -- there's probably a singles group for it. Funny you mentioned it; I am planing to go on a single cruise. Not really because of the "single" aspect, more because I want to relax, and family cruises are full of kids. That's a good list of events/things to do right there. I appreciate you taking the time to post it. My spirit is back up though. Signing up for the gym really makes me happy. Weird? I don't know. I really am going to enjoy it. 1
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