FrostBlaze Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 (edited) Stuck to NC for 3-4 months however long it's been. Ex came back and suddently messages me on FB, no apology or get back toghether. Just "hi, how are you?", small chat. She still thinks we can be friends or something if i didn't block her. She doesn't want me, crying over her long ago ex whatnot, so that's out. I kinda failed by engaging in the small talk and catching up, but nothing else. But i don't really care as much, even if a little, guess it still kinda hurts. What to do really? Edited April 30, 2014 by FrostBlaze
No Limit Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 Breadcrumb. Cease the contact back to zero, stop reacting to her messages if she won't stop posting. 2
Author FrostBlaze Posted May 3, 2014 Author Posted May 3, 2014 Well i haven't talked to her since i was busy with work. I just still like her so much, i always tried to win her over and make her get over her past. I guess you can't really make someone love you and i should give up, but it's so hard. I wasn't expecting her to contact, now that she has i am so close to taking the breadcrumb just so i can try again...god, but she only want's friendship with some flirting on the side to try n keep me hooked. Using me.. Halp, idk what to do, i might chat her up tonight one last time, just to make it clear. It's hard for me to let her go, because my brain is fixed on her >_>. I've had other girls hit on me since the BU but i just don't like them, or compare them to her. SO not over it. 1
Jiivy Posted May 3, 2014 Posted May 3, 2014 Tell me, in a relationship with this girl...how do you want it go? Sure, you can reply. You can keep talking and she may or may not eventually be convinced to give it a try. If that happens, then your relationship is built as follows: Your ex leaves you -> you are incredibly hurt and keep your distance to heal for 3/4 months -> they walk back in to your life -> you fight to get them back -> they're eventually convinced. Now tell me, at what part of the above did she ever try, or make the effort, or actually contribute ANYTHING to the relationship other than letting you do all the work to convince her to come along? Sorry, but unless someone actually wants me on their own accord, I don't want that. Why should you love someone who has to be so coerced in to loving you? 2
Author FrostBlaze Posted May 3, 2014 Author Posted May 3, 2014 It's because i fail to read her. She sometimes shows that she loves me, and does so in many different ways, including saying it. But i often think it's half assed or to string me, or when she feels particularly lonely...but i fall for it. So what should i do, i am afraid honestly, it's a long story. Should i just tell her, i want a relationship not friendship, not second place to none, if we can't have that, i'm going? I've been thinking of it, but i fail to deliver it ._. , cuz i think i might hurt her..
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 3, 2014 Posted May 3, 2014 (edited) Just because she BC'd you DOES NOT mean she wants you back. In fact, I can almost guarantee she doesn't. She's just doing one or a combination of these things: 1. Assuaging her guilt 2. Pulling on the leash to see how you respond 3. Satisfying her emotional wants and needs (cake-eating) This is all about her. This has nothing to do with you!! What should you do? Easy!! IGNORE!!! Question is... do you have the marbles??? Edited May 3, 2014 by mtnbiker3000 2
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted May 3, 2014 Posted May 3, 2014 Well i haven't talked to her since i was busy with work. I just still like her so much, i always tried to win her over and make her get over her past. I guess you can't really make someone love you and i should give up, but it's so hard. I wasn't expecting her to contact, now that she has i am so close to taking the breadcrumb just so i can try again...god, but she only want's friendship with some flirting on the side to try n keep me hooked. Using me.. Halp, idk what to do, i might chat her up tonight one last time, just to make it clear. It's hard for me to let her go, because my brain is fixed on her >_>. I've had other girls hit on me since the BU but i just don't like them, or compare them to her. SO not over it. You are obliviously not over it. DO NOT "chat her up" She doesnt want what you want. If she did, she wouldnt be sending such crap breadcrumbs. If she REALLY wanted you, she will work hard at it. A simple "hi" doesnt mean a damn thing. If anything, its going to be much more to not send anything. 2
elseaacych Posted May 3, 2014 Posted May 3, 2014 Breadcrumb. Nope nope nope. Just no. Delete it. That being said, I think you are too close to the breakup to give it another try by talking her back into it, and she obviously isn't fully there either. If she was fully there, you'd know. Give it some more time and let yourself get some clarity. 1
Author FrostBlaze Posted May 3, 2014 Author Posted May 3, 2014 *sigh* If only i could, i fail the moment she reaches out to me, i pushed her away once. Missed her like hell, avoided any contact. Moment she comes to me it's all over...i get so happy to talk to her, i just can't ignore and not answer. Idk if any of you know the feelings, it's like a instant reaction in my brain to reply, because it's happy to see her. I then question myself "why am i doing this, why can't i just not respond?"...i enjoy it to much, idk. Gunna be hard, hopefully i can carry out the chat tonight and say my bbyez.
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 3, 2014 Posted May 3, 2014 *sigh* If only i could, i fail the moment she reaches out to me, i pushed her away once. Missed her like hell, avoided any contact. Moment she comes to me it's all over...i get so happy to talk to her, i just can't ignore and not answer. Idk if any of you know the feelings, it's like a instant reaction in my brain to reply, because it's happy to see her. No, none of us know what you are talking about. It's so easy for the rest of us to go NC... You're right. Just cave in and talk to her. Your feelings are so much deeper than anyone here could possibly understand or relate to (sarcasm, btw). Dude, time to man the f*ck up and quit talking like a little *****. You want to be a doormat your entire life? Grow a pair!! 1
Author FrostBlaze Posted May 3, 2014 Author Posted May 3, 2014 Ey brah i have no ideea, this is a first for me, everything really, feelz included. Idk what other people felt, no need to be a ****ing ass. I get the jist, tell her to f off and be a man about it, aight sure. You can't just tell me to magically grow a pair, i live and learn, it's not about not having a pair, it's just that i believed i could change it all, foolish and naive. Not like someone handed me this guide when i was born on how to react to a girl when "that and that" happens, i tried it my way, now i try yours. Anyhoo, thanks i guess.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted May 3, 2014 Posted May 3, 2014 Ey brah i have no ideea, this is a first for me, everything really, feelz included. Idk what other people felt, no need to be a ****ing ass. I get the jist, tell her to f off and be a man about it, aight sure. You can't just tell me to magically grow a pair, i live and learn, it's not about not having a pair, it's just that i believed i could change it all, foolish and naive. Not like someone handed me this guide when i was born on how to react to a girl when "that and that" happens, i tried it my way, now i try yours. Anyhoo, thanks i guess. Nowhere was he being mean. Your message comes off as very melodramatic and "poor me"attitude.We obviously know how you feel, it's a breakup site lol. You need to leave her alone. Talking to her wont do ANYTHING. If she really wanted to be with you, she would be. A simple text doesnt do ANYTHING
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 3, 2014 Posted May 3, 2014 Not like someone handed me this guide when i was born on how to react to a girl when "that and that" happens, i tried it my way, now i try yours. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/470829-all-new-2014-no-contact-guide 1
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