ebt100 Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 If someone was otherwise great, but on occasion during arguments they got upset and said things in anger, would this be reason to end relationship? If there was a legitimate explanation for the angry tendencies, would that make it different,
babycakees Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 This would be a deal breaker for me. I couldn't be in a relationship where there was constant arguing and then for them to say things out of anger? I'd walk away.
FitChick Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 I know people who never argued and split up and those who constantly argued and are still together. Depends on the people.
saltyfishhead666 Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 In my past relationship. I wasn't given the opportunity to argue. If we had have argued, we would probably still be together. Yes arguments happen, but constant arguments? No, no one in their right mind would stay around for that especially if things are said that aren't meant in the heat of the moment.
iiiii Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 It's not just how much you argue, it's how you argue. If it clears the air and resolves the issue to everyone's satisfaction then maybe it's a good argument. If it hurts the relationship and doesn't resolve the issue, or one of you feels like you've "lost", then it's a bad argument. Of course constant arguing of any type isn't great either. 2
saltyfishhead666 Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 It's not just how much you argue, it's how you argue. If it clears the air and resolves the issue to everyone's satisfaction then maybe it's a good argument. If it hurts the relationship and doesn't resolve the issue, or one of you feels like you've "lost", then it's a bad argument. Of course constant arguing of any type isn't great either. That's exactly what I meant haha!! Plus make up sex is kinda cool - just saying 1
Keenly Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 It would depend on what the arguments were about, and most importantly if they fought fair. If you know you are losing the argument, so you lash out and say things just to hurt me, exploiting my fears and weaknesses and using the deepest things I told you in ck FIDE CE against me, I'm out. If you constantly start fights over stupid things like the toilet seat, I'm going to get tired of it. Frequent level headed disagreements on issues that are actually worth arguing over, those I don't mind, as it comes with a relationship.
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 I prefer calm arguments where we are freely able to bring up issues that bother us. In my experience, guys always hated arguments and would accuse me of causing drama. After an argument, I would nearly always feel better and like the air has been cleared where the guy would feel drained and then when I notice that, I would feel worse. My only solution has been to bottle things up. That's why I find relationships exhausting.
sillyanswer Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 If someone was otherwise great, but on occasion during arguments they got upset and said things in anger, would this be reason to end relationship? If there was a legitimate explanation for the angry tendencies, would that make it different, How long had the relationship been going when this first happened? And how often does it happen? Those things would affect my decision.
Author ebt100 Posted May 1, 2014 Author Posted May 1, 2014 I guess the question is: when and for what should you forgive someone, and what should you put your "line in the sand" at? I think for everyone things like cheating, physical abuse, etc are big no-no's. But then beyond that it gets blurry. I had a breakup where the reason was constant arguments that went too far. Like, it wasn't the "vague" stuff like lack of chemistry, etc.
shinealight Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 It depends if you can cope with the arguments. Like if someone will argue over a jacket or shoe for no reason and lash out at you every time you see them, then it's time to think are they really worth saving in the relationship/can I keep putting up with this? But if someone will calmly argue about the relationship then it's fine as-long as they don't lash out at you. I know someone who coped for so long with constant arguments, he even hit her on the head. You can try and forgive your'e partner but it won't get better and the arguments won't stop. It's OK in a relationship to have some arguments, but not where the person is going to argue over a phone and then hit you.
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