ladyinpower Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 (edited) Soon its going to be our anniversary in our LDR. We only see each other once a month, and i want to know if it's appropriate that i should feel that he must celebrate our anniversary. His grandfather is really sick and he is really old he might die soon, so lately he is been acting really weird and he never told me anything about his grandpa until today. I want to know if i should feel mad/sad if he doesn't mention anything about our anniversary or coming to see me? Should i tell him something, or is it not appropriate to tell him. I find our anniversary special but i just don't know how special it is for him in this situation. His grandpa can last months therefore its not like he can come some other time. Should i just not expect anything ? Edited May 1, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redacted personal information
dontgo Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 (edited) Really, you are concerned about your dating anniversary when his grandpa is really sick... Offer to visit him and his grandpa. If declines that is very reasonable. Edited May 1, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2
d0nnivain Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 Not only should you not expect anything, you should expect that you will have to do all the emotional heavy lifting in your relationship for a while. You also need to think about whether you will be able to go to any part of the services for the grandfather all on your own -- getting there by yourself, staying by yourself, eating by yourself & getting around alone. If your BF needs your emotional support to help him while he grieves can you give it? 2
almond Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 You are being incredibly selfish right now. You expect him to travel and visit you, while his elderly grandfather is in the hospital and may die? You can't be serious. You are supposed to be supportive and sympathetic to those that you love through times like these. Your post makes you seem completely self-absorbed and devoid of empathy. If I had seen my partner talking like you are now while one of my grandparents were dying, I would kick him to the curb before he knew what had hit him. The thought of offering to travel to him to be there to help him through this horrible time hasn't even crossed your mind...you actually think he should travel to you right now??? Lol, come on now. Do you not understand how hard it is to watch someone you love die? To see them struggling on their death bed? To watch your parents lose their father? If I were you, I'd keep these thoughts to yourself, or your boyfriend might see to it that you two never have an anniversary together again...and I wouldn't blame him. 3
Chocolat Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 (edited) Put it in perspective. You and your bf will be alive for the next anniversary. His grandpa won't. Give your bf the space and emotional support he needs. Edited May 1, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
GoreSP Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 I'm appaled by the fact you're even asking this question...
scorpiogirl Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 I'm appaled by the fact you're even asking this question... Me too. As someone who lost a grandparent who raised me. You should be thinking of how you can support him, not celebrating an anniversary. You mention he didn't say anything about the grandpa before but now you know. You can act accordingly. "Being there" means either physically if he wants or emotionally by phone or text or Skype. Ask him what he needs. Don't tell him your needs right now.
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