Using Cocaine - do I have a problem??

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by bluechocolate

Now I'm kinda thinking, "What the hell was that about? I'm fine. I can 'just say no' with the best of 'em or use & not abuse when I feel like it."

 

Am I kidding myself? It sounds like I'm justifying the status quo.

 

blah, blah, blah........ now I'm battling with a stupid doctor here who was entirely dismissive of her suggestion & doesn't seem to think it at all unusual that someone should be suffering throat infections & severe headache for months on end! (this has been diagnosed 3 times in 5 months) and when I think back I've been living off of over-the-counter pain killers for ages now! Yikes - I sound like a right mess - at least I quit smoking.

 

If it is a sinus thing I wonder how longer after stopping all coke things would get better? I can't be specific about times & dates, it may be that the infections & the coke are now intrinsically linked.

 

Yes, you are justifying status quo. You're either on, or off the wagon. Recreational use of coke is just not really a thing...it alllllllways escalates. Anyways what does it leave you? A permanently scarred septum? Ya wanna have to get surgery on your nose by the time you're in your 60s? My Dad's septum "mysteriously collapsed" (yeah right, I totally knew he was the cocaine type as a younger military man. I mean come on. they are ALL amped) and he is totally miserable and I won't go into details, but it sucks.

 

And yes I would venture to guess the two things - coke use and abuse and sinus infections, are intertwined. My ex-friend Mr. T had chronic sinus infections for months at a time. Thar she blooooooows.

 

A short vacation from where you are and what you've been doing was the healthiest thing you've probably done in recent months.

 

That said, I have been vacationing from the comparably benign pot habit I have and find my brain functioning better than normal. Or is this how it always was?

[laRubiaBonita]

i would say the coke has a ton to do with your sinus prob. If not magnifing it.

 

i am unclear, does your doc know you blow? i would think it would be pretty obvious to a doctor.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by laRubiaBonita

i would say the coke has a ton to do with your sinus prob. If not magnifing it.

 

i am unclear, does your doc know you blow? i would think it would be pretty obvious to a doctor.

 

You'd be surprised....I have been in to the doc ate up and/or strung out and they were like, hey, put some weight on....and i was like...uuuuurgh?....and they were like, alrighty, see you in 6 months!

[bluechocolate]

Originally posted by blind_otter

Yes, you are justifying status quo. You're either on, or off the wagon. Recreational use of coke is just not really a thing...it alllllllways escalates.

Thanks.

And yes I would venture to guess the two things - coke use and abuse and sinus infections, are intertwined. My ex-friend Mr. T had chronic sinus infections for months at a time. Thar she blooooooows.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! It sounds really 'effin stupid but I never clearly made that connection until just recently. It was that doc suggesting the problem could be in my sinuses that got me thinking 'cause like I said, I was having severe headache then being diagnosed with a throat infection (not a sinus infection) but have really begun wondering why I'm getting throat infections all the time!

That said, I have been vacationing from the comparably benign pot habit I have and find my brain functioning better than normal. Or is this how it always was?

We gave it up yonks ago now, used to smoke it everyday. I'll never say never but have had 2 j's in 4 months. A big problem for me is that I have a lot of spare time & no worries about income. At least work used to keep things relatively sane!

from laRubiaBonita

i am unclear, does your doc know you blow?

No.

i would think it would be pretty obvious to a doctor.

I don't think it would to be honest, maybe unless they're were specifically looking for it.

[laRubiaBonita]

ok. so now it IS having detrimental effects on your physical health.

 

i whole-heartedly agree with B_O, in that coke use for Persons like me, and you, who love to do it and can't seem to Not do it if they have....CANNOT be recreational, and for the reasons just stated.

 

It is like smoking cigs. you say i am only gonna have one, while i am out. No big deal. Until the one turns into three, and soon you are buying packs again.

 

you have to stop, for at least a good few months, if not forever, to get your sinus and throat cleared up. that is nothing to f- with! your sinuses wind around your face, eyes, and very close to your brain. Any infection could be turn very severe and fast! i would hate for you to have to have surgery on your face, eyes, or throat.

 

and even after those months, if you do get it thrust at you at a party and decide to do just a bump...... i really hope it will not be the beginning.

[Mz. Pixie]

BC-

 

Two men can certainly adopt- nothing wrong with that but address the drug issue first. I hate to think of a little crumbsnatcher running around under those circumstances.

 

I dated a guy who had been addicted to coke. Addiction is isolating- you know that. He said, it tells you you've eaten, you've slept, you've had sex, you don't need anything but IT. It took extensive rehab to get him clean, and I lost touch with him so I'm not sure if it took.

 

Also, I have PTSD and when I've done group therapy- almost everyone in the group was either a alcoholic or drug addict. There is always a underlying cause to why someone goes down this path. Therapy will help you find out why you're using and give you suggestions about how to get clean and stay clean.

 

It's not fun to think you have to do without something that gives you pleasure or so you think but it's the reality unfortunately. I wish you success in your endeavors.

[bluechocolate]

Originally posted by Mz. Pixie

Also, I have PTSD ....

Pardon my acronym ignorance - what is PTSD?

[laRubiaBonita]

post tramatic stress disorder

[bluechocolate]

Originally posted by laRubiaBonita

post tramatic stress disorder

cheers

[blind_otter]

Yeah I definately never had any addiction problems until after I was raped the second time.

[moimeme]

beat Bush in Bratislavia

 

I wish!

 

your sinuses wind around your face, eyes, and very close to your brain

 

Yeah - you really don't want to let this go longer. Get a referral to an ear, nose, and throat doc. And quit the blow until your nose works again. You are hurting your own self, boy!!!!

[moimeme]

until after I was raped the second time.

 

[shamen]

Originally posted by bluechocolate

Well a few days after my last post in this thread I "fell off the wagon". I was at a birthday party & had it thrust at me, next thing it was 5am (excuses, excuses...).

 

Thing is, I'm not exactly sure I got on the wagon to begin with. After the birthday party I went away, had my train journey through snow covered Eastern Europe (beat Bush in Bratislavia by one day - phew!) and the first post on this thread now seems like a dim & distant memory.

 

Now I'm kinda thinking, "What the hell was that about? I'm fine. I can 'just say no' with the best of 'em or use & not abuse when I feel like it."

 

Am I kidding myself? It sounds like I'm justifying the status quo.

 

btw- was an interesting journey, at various points involved attending mass, the police & a doctor. The doctor thing was interesting 'cause she indicated that I may have something wrong with my sinuses & had I been in the Czech Republic for longer she would run tests. I keep getting severe throat infections & swollen glands which manifest as extreme headache so I don't actually feel any pain in my throat & generally soldier on with the headaches (who's gonna call a doc about a headache?) until they get so bad that I'm forced to. This has been going on for months & months now which makes me believe that I've never actually gotten rid of the infection & this Czech doctor 'reckoned it could be that the problem is actually in my sinuses - which kinda makes sense.

 

blah, blah, blah........ now I'm battling with a stupid doctor here who was entirely dismissive of her suggestion & doesn't seem to think it at all unusual that someone should be suffering throat infections & severe headache for months on end! (this has been diagnosed 3 times in 5 months) and when I think back I've been living off of over-the-counter pain killers for ages now! Yikes - I sound like a right mess - at least I quit smoking.

 

If it is a sinus thing I wonder how longer after stopping all coke things would get better? I can't be specific about times & dates, it may be that the infections & the coke are now intrinsically linked.

 

Hey bluechocolate,

 

It's funny how the post can seem like a billion years ago... when you've made a decision and you mess up on what you said. I know very few people who can say that they quit using the first time that they say that they think they have a problem. At the same time though, try really hard to stay away from it. I can't tell you how often I still get offered pot and I just politely tell them that I don't smoke anymore. No one ever complains. But coke is different... just stay away from the people who use and situations where it might be offered.

 

You probably do want to go to an ear/nose/throat specialist. My bet is that they will be able to tell that you've been using. (I had an eye doctor who could tell just by looking at my eyes, I mentioned this earlier.) My friend's doctor (the guy who had the deviated septum fixed) absolutely knew that he was using without him saying a word. He could tell just by looking at what was going on in his sinuses, etc.

 

What do the over-the-counter painkillers consist of? If they're just for headaches and stuff, no biggie. But, you've got to be careful using anything big right now, blue. No need to replace one problem with another. Again, go to the specialist! Hopefully you can get rid of the reason as to why you're taking painkillers in the first place.

 

Stopping the coke will probably help your sinuses significantly as well.

[shamen]

Originally posted by blind_otter

Yeah I definately never had any addiction problems until after I was raped the second time.

 

I second Moi's

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by shamen

I second Moi's

 

Thanks....

 

I was actually a very dedicated student, 4.0 GPA, active in after school activities - I played competitive concert piano, I did ballet and other types of folk dancing, I was a very accomplished, earnest, serious, dedicated student with lofty goals for myself. After I was raped the second time, I lost my momentum, big time, and became a dissipated drug addict.

 

I never dated anyone in high school - I was too dedicated to my studies, and too serious to goof around like other kids. After the rape I had a series of unfulfilling and abusive relationships. I have a feeling that in many ways I let that trauma control the direction I went in life. If I hadn't been raped I would probably have gone on to med school and I would be nearing completion of my studies now. Instead I got a degree in psych and I work as a personal assistant. I like my life now, somewhat, but I am a basketcase and wish a lot of the time that I had gotten it together 4-5 years ago.

 

But that's life. Obviously we are meant to learn. But I really do think a lot of people use drugs, illegal ones, to self-medicate when it comes to issues they need to actually get treatment for. I've seen it too many times to count, and experienced it myself....but the only time you can really get treatment is when you decide you need to do it for yourself. Few people get to that point.....

[shamen]

Originally posted by blind_otter

But that's life. Obviously we are meant to learn. But I really do think a lot of people use drugs, illegal ones, to self-medicate when it comes to issues they need to actually get treatment for. I've seen it too many times to count, and experienced it myself....but the only time you can really get treatment is when you decide you need to do it for yourself. Few people get to that point.....

 

Hi Blind_Otter,

 

Sounds like you are in the process of getting your life together just fine! The working as a personal assistant thing can change easily when you're ready if you don't like it. I was a secretary for years and when I got my s*** together, I went to grad school and got a new career. My life is pretty good now.

 

I agree that we are meant to learn. Years of drug use to self medicate doesn't change the fact that many people need to get treatment, no doubt! I did it too, for around 17 years. I gave it all up (I don't use drugs anymore) and I go back and forth into therapy to try to get my head straight. And yes, you've got to do it for yourself; no amount of someone else telling you to do it is going to make you seek treatment until it's the right time for you. You as a general term here...

 

Now, I probably still drink a little too much, but at least I've got it down to one thing, instead of like 5 or 6, eh?

[moimeme]

But that's life. Obviously we are meant to learn. But I really do think a lot of people use drugs, illegal ones, to self-medicate when it comes to issues they need to actually get treatment for

 

Since you studied psych, you may have run into the studies that prove just that. Have you never gone to counselling to deal with the rapes?

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by shamen

Now, I probably still drink a little too much, but at least I've got it down to one thing, instead of like 5 or 6, eh?

 

 

Too true...that's how I am, I can't drink because of the seizure disorder I have now, so I smoke a jay every once in a while. I used to smoke every damn day, but lately I have been soooooo laid back on the pot use. Probably being heavily medicated on anticonvulsants helps, ha ha. Up until very recently it was like, hey lets go out tonight. And drink, smoke pot, do coke, huff nitrous, possibly roll, and take some kind of downer to come off the coke! Yay! I feel healthy!

 

Then you start to clear your head up and you are like, whoops, I guess I should have lanced this festering boil a long time ago. (You're welcome for the imagery! har har har)

 

On edit: Yes moi, I've been in and out of therapy for the past 7 years or so...it's been an ok process. I have had measured success, but in all honesty I have yet to find a therapist that is a good fit who also challenges me....few men do rape trauma counseling and to be honest, I work better with male therapists than female ones.

[moimeme]

Have you ever tried EMDR, B.O. ? I know a local trauma therapist who is, apparently, nationally known and she says it does work.

[shamen]

Originally posted by blind_otter

 

Too true...that's how I am, I can't drink because of the seizure disorder I have now, so I smoke a jay every once in a while. I used to smoke every damn day, but lately I have been soooooo laid back on the pot use. Probably being heavily medicated on anticonvulsants helps, ha ha. Up until very recently it was like, hey lets go out tonight. And drink, smoke pot, do coke, huff nitrous, possibly roll, and take some kind of downer to come off the coke! Yay! I feel healthy!

 

Then you start to clear your head up and you are like, whoops, I guess I should have lanced this festering boil a long time ago. (You're welcome for the imagery! har har har)

 

I remember the days well (maybe not so well ). And I'm glad I lived through my 20s. Sounds like you too, like blue, are realizing that maybe taking all of these things isn't the best thing for you. I feel so much human now that I don't use; does that make any sense? Like I can actually feel all of my emotions, that I'm connected to myself and to other people.

 

You'll find a good counselor for the rape trauma eventually...

[jmargel]

Bluechocolate I didn't read any one else's replies but it's apparent that you need help for drug abuse. Please call: 1-800-COCAINE or 1-800-622-2255 which is the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence. Admitting that you have a problem is the first step. Continuing this path of abuse WILL KILL YOU.

 

For you to receive the same *high* as before you have to take more & more. The more you take the more you kill your body. You will *never* experience the same great high that you once had when you first started taking, no matter how much you take. The only difference is that the downs will be just that much harder to handle, considering more is inside you.

 

It's time to take control of your life, stop letting this drug do that to you. I would also recommend seeking individual counseling for your personal problems. This is something you don't want to fool around with.

[XNemesisX]

Blue -

 

I actually don't think you have a drug problem. I have done coke a bit but can't do it as much as I want because it is so gosh darn expensive! I learned in one of my classes that there is a lot of misconceptions about drugs. In fact, drugs aren't as harmful as the media makes them out to be. You can't get addicted very easily to coke, as people like to think.

 

I think nicotine is the most addictive. 2 months of regular usage of nicotine = PHYSICAL dependency. 4 months of regular heroin use will lead to addiction (which heroin is nothing to mess with, because withdrawal from that can lead to death). But I think for cocaine you have to do it for 6 months straight, using it a LOT every single day for at least 6 months before you will become dependent. You may find yourself getting psychologically dependent, but unless you are doing this every single day for at least 6 months you won't be a coke addict.

 

I used to thinks drugs were all bad and awful until I took this class and learned that actually most drugs really aren't that harmful in and of themselves. Nicotine is probably more harmful in the long run then coke usage. LSD isn't even supposed to be all that harmful. X is not harmful either, unless taken in huge doses and too often.

 

I say that if you feel that it is disrupting your life somehow then stop doing it. You aren't dependent on it yet. Also, you must be loaded to be doing this much coke

 

My ex and I used to do coke when we could and even after that I like to do it when I have the money to spend on it. It's about $80 a gram here. I will do about 1-2 grams a night. So while still being in college, it's kinda hard for me to come up with the money.

 

I just want to tell you to relax and don't be so hard on yourself. Unless the coke usage is disrupting your life in other ways, then it could become a problem. Just try to limit how much you do and try not to do it TOO much or you could become physically dependent later on.

 

I know everyone is going to think this is crappy advice, but I really don't think its so bad. Just don't get into heroin..now that is some bad stuff to mess with. Nothin wrong with coke from time to time..just don't let it control your life and do it so much that you end up addicted or with some real problems. Oh, and you're right. The depression after doing it is AWFUL. Which that alone might be enough to want to give it up altogether. I actually wish I could do coke more, because I'm a very low energy person and it gives me a ton of energy. Just remember that nothing in extreme is good..you don't have to give it up forever..just limit yourself to do it reasonably. Also, if you don't want to tell your SO about it, then don't. It is your business really.

 

Good luck!

[moimeme]

But I think for cocaine you have to do it for 6 months straight, using it a LOT every single day for at least 6 months before you will become dependent

 

Evidence, please. "I think" doesn't cut it.

 

I know everyone is going to think this is crappy advice, but I really don't think its so bad

 

Well duh. And smokers will defend their habit. And alcoholics in denial will tell you 'it's not that bad'. And people who are violent will say they're just 'emotional'. Face it, you're not exactly offering an objective judgement.

 

I used to thinks drugs were all bad and awful until I took this class and learned that actually most drugs really aren't that harmful in and of themselves.

 

Who gave this class? Creative Rationalizations for All Problems Organization?

[shamen]

YX32Nemesis,

 

Did you read the entire post? He already did talk to his partner re: what was going on. When the drug becomes your focus for several days on end, then you've got some coke issues. When you start getting nosebleeds. When your sinuses are so messed up that you're having health issues, then you've probably got an issue with this drug.

 

It was indeed disrupting his life.

 

It is not a drug to be taken so lightly...

[Pocky]

Originally posted by YX32Nemesis

Blue -

 

I actually don't think you have a drug problem. I have done coke a bit but can't do it as much as I want because it is so gosh darn expensive! I learned in one of my classes that there is a lot of misconceptions about drugs. In fact, drugs aren't as harmful as the media makes them out to be. You can't get addicted very easily to coke, as people like to think.

 

I think nicotine is the most addictive. 2 months of regular usage of nicotine = PHYSICAL dependency. 4 months of regular heroin use will lead to addiction (which heroin is nothing to mess with, because withdrawal from that can lead to death). But I think for cocaine you have to do it for 6 months straight, using it a LOT every single day for at least 6 months before you will become dependent. You may find yourself getting psychologically dependent, but unless you are doing this every single day for at least 6 months you won't be a coke addict.

 

I don't think chemical addiction is the biggest problem with recreational drugs. It's the mental addiction that many people form that makes them incapable of functioning without the drug. And considering what he's written, he may have a problem with both.