Going on a break....

[love1336x]

So we went to happy being together, till slowly falling apart, to being engaged, now to simply going on a break

 

I told him I wanting a break. I wasn't feeling the relationship anymore... we argue too much, lack seeing one another, lack of sex…The lack of effort in our relationship from both SIDES were just falling apart.

 

He has tried to break up with me several times in our relationship, and when I have agreed with it.... He changed his mind. I guess as last resort he asked me to married him, I did say yes, but he started to change his mind feeling maybe he rushed it.

 

NOW, he agreed to go on a break. A whole month without contact

your experience has a break ever fixed the problems in a relationship?

 

I feel we have way too much negativity. I feel maybe in a month we will either grow apart and realize we are not meant to be, or maybe miss eachother so much that we will have reset button to us.

 

We agreed in that month we can see other people, do whatever makes us happy.... I don't want to let go, but at the same time I don't want to hold on if a relationship just isn't working, but while I am in love I do want to try.....

[lolablue17]

For me a break is not a good thing. If it's 2-3 days for thinking and organizing your mind, OK I can understand, But more than that? No, I don't think it helps.

 

And another thing... there's a big difference if while the break you're seeing other people or not. If you're not, it implies that you're still committed to your R. But if you go shopping outside? You better call it a break up.

[d0nnivain]

Taking a break for more then a few hours is childish. Either you will stay together & work together to solve your problems or you will break up.

Edited April 30, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[love1336x]

For me a break is not a good thing. If it's 2-3 days for thinking and organizing your mind, OK I can understand, But more than that? No, I don't think it helps.

 

And another thing... there's a big difference if while the break you're seeing other people or not. If you're not, it implies that you're still committed to your R. But if you go shopping outside? You better call it a break up.

 

 

Ugh! So you think I should shorten the amount of days?

Maybe a month is too much?

Ugh. I really don't want to break NC at this point been 2 days, and I promised him I would leave him alone.

 

it's whatever if he really loves me, a month shouldn't matter.

[love1336x]

Taking a break for more then a few hours is childish. Either you will stay together & work together to solve your problems or you will break up.

 

Taking a little break can be seen as a rejuvenation of the relationship, so that you can return to each other stronger and healthier.

We are trying to work out our problems, but isn't working we are too cloud up with negativity from the past to see anything else.

 

when you're upset and trying to solve an issue if you keep going at it with rage and pissyiness it solves nothing, but if you take a break from it and try again you might have a better chance at fixing it because your head not so clouded.

Edited April 30, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[d0nnivain]

Work together to fix it or end it. Stop trying to find some middle ground that doesn't exist.

 

 

I'm not saying that a cooling off period is a bad thing. Sometimes I have said to my husband (or past BF's) stop. I need to be away from you for a few hours or I risk saying things I won't be able to take back.

 

 

Shortly after we were married, I blew up at my then new husband because I thought he was treating another woman better than me. We'd been out of town on a 6 week training program for work & she was a colleague from another office. I had driven 5 hours to visit him in the other city. The other woman was backing off & doing everything in her power to assure me that there was nothing going on (which I appreciated) but my husband was too clueless to even see that dynamic. We got in a huge fight. I slept on the couch & drove home the next morning. I had thrown out the D word (very bad) & said I didn't want to talk to him until I calmed down. After 72 hours we were able to have a rational discussion about everything & DH came home for the following weekend. I wasn't about to go back down there. Several months after that I was even able to be polite to the other woman because I wasn't going to freak out on her at a work event for DH. Scenes are not my thing.

 

 

Beyond a day or 2 to be calm breaks don't work. You can't reboot a relationship by "making" the other person miss you.

Edited April 30, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[lolablue17]

Ugh! So you think I should shorten the amount of days?

Maybe a month is too much?

Ugh. I really don't want to break NC at this point been 2 days, and I promised him I would leave him alone.

 

it's whatever if he really loves me, a month shouldn't matter.

 

It doesn't matter how you call it. It is what it is.

 

But I wouldn't want to take back a girl that screwed some guys during the break, and now she wants me back only because she didnt find someone better over that period.

[love1336x]

It doesn't matter how you call it. It is what it is.

 

But I wouldn't want to take back a girl that screwed some guys during the break, and now she wants me back only because she didnt find someone better over that period.

 

I wouldn't be screwing anyone, and as long I didn't know he was screwing somebody in the process, again I wouldn't care.

 

Sex is sex. Some men need it. I don't want to deny him sex because I need a break from us. Anything you make taboo people want it more.

Will I date other men? Better believe it. School is almost over for me. I had zero of social life since January. I want to go out and mingle. But, I wont be giving up my booty. In that month if i fall in love with somebody else then it means we wasn't meant to be.... simple as that. I want to give him freedom. Nothing is wrong with that.

[faithfully]

Was on a break with my ex for 3 weeks and whilst he was on the break seen his ex, arranged to meet up with her and then since he got back with her and after arguing finished with him.

 

A break is definitely not a good thing in my eyes especially for that long.

 

Just an excuse for them to get over you quicker without you being there

[Chi townD]

Either you try or you don't try. People have been married to each other for 20,30, even 40 years and they don't seem to need to take a "break" in their marriage to date other people and see if the love they have for each other "is strong enough and worth it". They have good times and bad times. They work together through those bad times and celebrate in the good.

 

 

What you are proposing is keeping each other on the hook for a month when you both can just call it quits and start healing now.

 

 

Or you call off the "break" and work through the issues together.

[love1336x]

 

Work together to fix it or end it. Stop trying to find some middle ground that doesn't exist.

 

 

I'm not saying that a cooling off period is a bad thing. Sometimes I have said to my husband (or past BF's) stop. I need to be away from you for a few hours or I risk saying things I won't be able to take back.

 

 

Shortly after we were married, I blew up at my then new husband because I thought he was treating another woman better than me. We'd been out of town on a 6 week training program for work & she was a colleague from another office. I had driven 5 hours to visit him in the other city. The other woman was backing off & doing everything in her power to assure me that there was nothing going on (which I appreciated) but my husband was too clueless to even see that dynamic. We got in a huge fight. I slept on the couch & drove home the next morning. I had thrown out the D word (very bad) & said I didn't want to talk to him until I calmed down. After 72 hours we were able to have a rational discussion about everything & DH came home for the following weekend. I wasn't about to go back down there. Several months after that I was even able to be polite to the other woman because I wasn't going to freak out on her at a work event for DH. Scenes are not my thing.

 

 

Beyond a day or 2 to be calm breaks don't work. You can't reboot a relationship by "making" the other person miss you.

 

I am not trying an excuse to cheat on my lover, but rather a chance to see whether we can live without one another. If we feel we can't, then that's a good sign. If, on the other side, if we don't then like i said again we aren't meant to be.

Edited April 30, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[love1336x]

Was on a break with my ex for 3 weeks and whilst he was on the break seen his ex, arranged to meet up with her and then since he got back with her and after arguing finished with him.

 

A break is definitely not a good thing in my eyes especially for that long.

 

Just an excuse for them to get over you quicker without you being there

 

Who idea was it for the break?

I know how I feel for him. I am in love with him, but the bull in our relationship is killing us. I don't want to continue the bull to only at the end hate one another.

[love1336x]

Either you try or you don't try. People have been married to each other for 20,30, even 40 years and they don't seem to need to take a "break" in their marriage to date other people and see if the love they have for each other "is strong enough and worth it". They have good times and bad times. They work together through those bad times and celebrate in the good.

 

 

What you are proposing is keeping each other on the hook for a month when you both can just call it quits and start healing now.

 

 

Or you call off the "break" and work through the issues together.

 

That's great for though people, but on less you are personally in their lives you have no idea what they went through in order to be happy.

 

My main goal of the break is to break away from the negativity that has built up in the past couple months of us being together.

It isn't to date, and see what's out there.

I personally don't have many friends. I am a pretty girl. men want to date me. I enjoy getting to know new people, and doing stuff with them. It isnt a crime.

I simply said we can date other people because I don't want to restrict him, and make him feel, "Well she's leading me on for a month to see if i will ponder for her" No. Not my goal. I refused for a whole month, be sad and crying over him. I will go out, and have fun too.

[love1336x]

My ex boyfriend parents been together for the past 20 years, and they only reason why they had last or never taken a "break" because the mother takes alll the CRAP from the husband.

 

I know a few of mothers who stay because because of children. So, yea it may look all pretty on the outside, but once you get to know them they are misery and HATE their spouse. All because to keep up being a happy family.

[d0nnivain]

I am not trying an excuse to cheat on my lover, but rather a chance to see whether we can live without one another. If we feel we can't, then that's a good sign. If, on the other side, if we don't then like i said again we aren't meant to be.

 

 

Tests like the one you are setting up don't work. Either work together to fix the relationship or end it.

 

 

 

Will I date other men? Better believe it. School is almost over for me. I had zero of social life since January. I want to go out and mingle. But, I wont be giving up my booty. In that month if i fall in love with somebody else then it means we wasn't meant to be.... simple as that. I want to give him freedom. Nothing is wrong with that.

 

 

You already have one foot out the door even if you don't realize it. You can't "fall in love with somebody" else in a month. This isn't a fairy tale.

 

 

You are annoyed at your BF because you haven't had a social life. You are in the process of a life transition & you want to go explore that. It happens. Go. Be happy but don't try this BS string along your old relationship as a back up plan.

[Arieswoman]

I don't get this "going-on-a-break" rubbish.

 

You are either together or you aren't.

 

If you can't sort out your differences/problems/challenges when you are together then sure as Hades you won't sort them out being apart.

 

Either tinkle or get off the potty.

[love1336x]

I don't get this "going-on-a-break" rubbish.

 

You are either together or you aren't.

 

If you can't sort out your differences/problems/challenges when you are together then sure as Hades you won't sort them out being apart.

 

Either tinkle or get off the potty.

 

 

I baby sit this little girl who is learning how to potty.

Her mother has her sit on the potty for hours.

So this quote made me laugh and think about her. Think how she watches t.v, and eat on the potty... But, none the less eventually she does and potty!

[Elle1975]

I wouldn't be screwing anyone, and as long I didn't know he was screwing somebody in the process, again I wouldn't care.

 

Sex is sex. Some men need it. I don't want to deny him sex because I need a break from us. Anything you make taboo people want it more.

Will I date other men? Better believe it. School is almost over for me. I had zero of social life since January. I want to go out and mingle. But, I wont be giving up my booty. In that month if i fall in love with somebody else then it means we wasn't meant to be.... simple as that. I want to give him freedom. Nothing is wrong with that.

 

Sex isn't "just sex". ok, screwing a one night stand and then your booty call, ok, I'd say "sex is just sex". But intimacy with the person you love is not just sex. It's the best thing ever.

 

Or maybe it's you who wants to give it a go?

 

Anyway, I would take a couple days, not a whole month. It sounds more like "should we be back together?" rather than "should we stay together?"..

[love1336x]

Sex isn't "just sex". ok, screwing a one night stand and then your booty call, ok, I'd say "sex is just sex". But intimacy with the person you love is not just sex. It's the best thing ever.

 

Or maybe it's you who wants to give it a go?

 

Anyway, I would take a couple days, not a whole month. It sounds more like "should we be back together?" rather than "should we stay together?"..

 

 

No. I'm 23 years old. I had sex with 5 men since the age of 19 years old. (when i lost my V-card) I hate the fact that I have such a high sex count.

men love sex... I can't give him sex, and nor does he care about his sex count... If he does screwed somebody in the process... I would not like it, so i won't ask if he did...

 

and yea you're right... it is more of "should we be back together"

[Elle1975]

No. I'm 23 years old. I had sex with 5 men since the age of 19 years old. (when i lost my V-card) I hate the fact that I have such a high sex count.

men love sex... I can't give him sex, and nor does he care about his sex count... If he does screwed somebody in the process... I would not like it, so i won't ask if he did...

 

and yea you're right... it is more of "should we be back together"

 

Men love sex.. women do too.. To love sex really isn't an excuse to go check out the other aisle. Or actually, that's what it is, just "an excuse".

 

When you start saying "oh it's ok if you kiss someone else. I just don't want to know", you allow them to walk all over you. You think that if you don't know about it, it makes it okay? Well cheaters think the same way.. what she doesn't know, can't hurt her. Right.. it's a lie, a deal breaker.

 

PS: but by all means.. if that's what you want..

Edited April 30, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Elle1975]

I am tired of repeating myself over and over again.

Please read throughout the thread what my stand is on that. simple as that. you people just want to twist crap around. I am not letting him walk on me, we are not together, i should tell him what to do because?

 

No you don't understand. You saying "we're not together" then is called a break UP. Not a break..

[love1336x]

No you don't understand. You saying "we're not together" then is called a break UP. Not a break..

 

Same difference.

[InnocentMan]

 

 

This one guy been dying for me to break up with my boyfriend. I am giving him a chance because hes been wanting to date me for 2 years now.

 

Wow. You should have put this in your OP, and saved these good people wasting time giving you advice on a totally different issue. Is your BF aware of this orbiter, and your intentions? Seems you have given him the green light to date, to clear your own conscience.

Edited April 30, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[love1336x]

Wow. You should have put this in your OP, and saved these good people wasting time giving you advice on a totally different issue. Is your BF aware of this orbiter, and your intentions? Seems you have given him the green light to date, to clear your own conscience.

 

 

Lol. If i wanting this man I would had been with him. I do not romantic like him, but he is a good friend.

Edited April 30, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Keenly]

I've never heard of a break working. Ever. Just my experience.