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New guy's ex was a bodybuilder...and I am NOT


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Posted

I'm relatively fit and in good shape, but due to an injury I haven't been able to work out as much and have gained a little weight (nothing extreme, my clothes still fit well but I'm very short so I look a little "curvier" now and my abs are a little softer). I just started seeing a guy a few weeks ago who is really athletic and does ironmans and stuff like that. He was once briefly married to a female bodybuilder and they would do all kinds of competitions/workouts together. We have a lot in common in other areas of our lives and get along really well. We haven't slept together yet, but I can't help but feel a little...insecure? about if we do. If he is used to the body of a super muscular and fit girl then I am afraid he is going to be disappointed with someone who is not as extreme. I'm not trying to fill her void as his workout buddy and I know we can find other things to do together that are OUR thing, but it's still a little intimidating and I know to avoid aggravating this injury I will never be able to workout as extremely as them. How do I get out of this mindset?

Posted

Do you think ALL his exes were bodybuilders? Of course they weren't. Some were likely much softer than you, yet he was plenty attracted to them all the same.

 

You're not in competition with his ex, so it doesn't matter.

  • Like 1
Posted

Imo female bodybuilders are disgusting, I think the majority of guys would agree. They lose their soft feminity and become masculine.

 

I wouldn't worry if I were you, but if that's what he wants then so be it, but I'd doubt it as it not an attractive norm.

  • Like 2
Posted

There's a reason he's not married to her anymore. Don't worry about who he's been with before - just be your awesome self.

 

My last boyfriend was gorgeous, smart, and made good money - but he was also kind of an *******, and I never felt very loved or appreciated with him. Now the main thing I look for is someone who likes me, appreciates me, and enjoys showing it. If my guy does that and does it well, he has nothing to worry about.

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Posted

Assuming the guy's vision is not hopelessly compromised, no doubt he already knows you are not as fit as his ex. He's chosen to date you, so presumably he is attracted to your mind and body. :)

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Posted (edited)

Woman in shape = yum

 

Woman bodybuilder = am I banging a dude?

 

 

 

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Edited by RonaldS
  • Like 2
Posted

For all we know she looked like Vera from In Living Color.

Posted

Another guy chiming in here: My bet just from your description is that you look a lot better than his ex. I get totally grossed out by bodybuider chicks. I'd much MUCH rather have a curvy woman. You don't have to have solid abs, I prefer a little soft layer on top. Your BF just might like your body better.

Posted

I dated a couple of bodybuilders and I don't do gyms! What a man wants on him doesn't mean he wants it on his lady. One of those man I dated also had a lady bodybuilder as a girlfriend and he ended the relationship because he felt like he was dating another dude.

 

My main concern would he if he's taking steroids, I am ready to bet he does.

Posted
For all we know she looked like Vera from In Living Color.

 

That's hilarious. I just made a Vera de Milo reference in another thread the other day.

Posted

Did you put a gun to his head and force him to be with you?

 

If not, he chose to be with you because he's attracted to you.

 

It's silly to compare yourself to his ex whom he's no longer with. Clearly it takes more than a body building body to keep his interest. Also, people can be attracted to different body types and not because someone's ex had a certain body type means they ONLY like that body type....I mean clearly he doesn't, as you don't have that body type and he is with you.

 

We all have body insecurities but believe me, if this person is with you, he can tell you are not a bodybuilder and still is with you anyway, so be confident that there is something he sees that he likes and is attracted to.

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Posted

He's dating you, not her. That should say enough.

 

 

I too like muscular women, I like fit women, I like soft women. I like pretty much ALL women. We're guys after all :)

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