She won't dress properly to meet my brothers?

[ASG]

To be fair, Omei, most of us have taken OP's history with this girl into account. And the fact that he's put up with everything she's dished out so far, just because she's HOT. And he's afraid he might not get another girlfriend. Hardly a reason to put up with someone who is, by everyone definition of the word, being a brat. I won't go so far as to use the word bitch....yet.

 

Regardless of the dress code at the restaurant, it's obvious she doesn't care one bit about making a good impression on OP's family. A "good girlfriend" would find this to be a no brainier. Especially since she's indicated she's partly into him for the family money.

 

OP, can you buy her a Hello Kitty matching bra and panties set, and have her wear it under something appropriate?

 

I've read all about this girlfriend and yes, I agree she's trouble, but on this issue, I'm with her.

 

So, what if she's willing to compromise on her fashion to make a good impression on the OP's family... what happens when this brother comes back, some other time? Will she also be required to tone down her dressing once again?

[d0nnivain]

I've read all about this girlfriend and yes, I agree she's trouble, but on this issue, I'm with her.

 

So, what if she's willing to compromise on her fashion to make a good impression on the OP's family... what happens when this brother comes back, some other time? Will she also be required to tone down her dressing once again?

 

 

For a 1st meet it's always a good idea to step up your game & dress. You can still have style & conform to a dress code. Nobody is making her wear a uniform. Especially if the dress code is about the venue then yes she should accomodate his wishes & there are ways to do that while being true to herself.

[kaylan]

Damn, I cannot believe there are people defending OPs girlfriend. But its not surprising to see a couple women strongly defend another woman behaving poorly.

 

Id strongly consider dumping a girl over this if we werent together long. It shows strong disrespect if she couldnt freaking dress formal ONE NIGHT for a nice dinner someone else is taking her out too. Her age is clearly showing OP. Shes an immature kid. I expect this stuff from 20 yr olds to be honest.

 

Hell, I dont like dressing super formal...but if I had a girlfriend who wanted me to meet her FAMILY at a very nice restaurant, Id dress up VERY nicely and make a GREAT first impression. Sh!!t, its not impossible for me to add my own little piece of personal style to formal fashion.

[Mascara]

*sigh* every time a guy posts about how women take all sorts of crap from good looking jerks, I want to point out that - equally - a guy will take a truck load from a girl if she's hot enough.

 

Stop enabling her OP. Be the one guy who didn't take her nonsense, because all those "entitled princesses" everyone complains about will only stop when guys like you change from "won't do anything in case they can't find someone just as hot"

[ASG]

For a 1st meet it's always a good idea to step up your game & dress. You can still have style & conform to a dress code. Nobody is making her wear a uniform. Especially if the dress code is about the venue then yes she should accomodate his wishes & there are ways to do that while being true to herself.

 

Very true! But the main complaint of the OP was about bright colours... Bright colours can still be formal!

The thing is, there are a million ways to conform to a dress code, but none of them require you to only wear black/white (unless specifically stated, which is not the case at ANY restaurant).

 

The OP has not told us what his GF intends on wearing and exactly what's wrong with it, so we can't really advise.. but what I get from the OP is that he wants her to NOT dress AT ALL like herself, just to make a good impression on his brother. And that I cannot stand by.

[saltyfishhead666]

Very true! But the main complaint of the OP was about bright colours... Bright colours can still be formal!

The thing is, there are a million ways to conform to a dress code, but none of them require you to only wear black/white (unless specifically stated, which is not the case at ANY restaurant).

 

The OP has not told us what his GF intends on wearing and exactly what's wrong with it, so we can't really advise.. but what I get from the OP is that he wants her to NOT dress AT ALL like herself, just to make a good impression on his brother. And that I cannot stand by.

 

 

I can tell you how the op wants his girlfriend to dress. He wants her to dress "hot" he's only trying to make his brothers jealous after all

[MidwestUSA]

Very true! But the main complaint of the OP was about bright colours... Bright colours can still be formal!

The thing is, there are a million ways to conform to a dress code, but none of them require you to only wear black/white (unless specifically stated, which is not the case at ANY restaurant).

 

The OP has not told us what his GF intends on wearing and exactly what's wrong with it, so we can't really advise.

 

Well, he mentioned Hello Kitty. Not sure if he's joking or not. Can we agree she needs to use a little bit of common sense if he's not joking?

[ASG]

Well, he mentioned Hello Kitty. Not sure if he's joking or not. Can we agree she needs to use a little bit of common sense if he's not joking?

 

Absolutely. But the way I read it (I could be wrong, obviously), he said she is one to wear Hello Kitty. Not that she was planning on wearing it to the dinner... but that she was planning on wearing bright colours and that those aren't formal (when they actually can be).

[Shepp]

Ok..

So yeah, she's obviously being a brat about it, but there's probably a reason.

She is this person who dresses in Hello Kitty gear at formal events. Either you accept that or you don't. It's a part of herself she's obviously not willing to compromise on.

 

It's embarrassing for you, and you can't expect her to change because of your insecurities.

 

This^

 

Is probably become one of these....your taking about the clothes, and mean the clothes and she hears you talking about the clothes, and thinks your knocking her...identity as a whole!

 

Like if my gf said to me "you look stupid in that hat", I'd know she doesn't like the hat - but some girls don't think in the same way, they take it personal.

 

You probably should of gone about it differently, when you asked her - just bought her something really nice to wear as a surprise, or gently mentioned the dress code - now its probably become a thing, in my experience once stuff becomes a thing you'll have one hell of a job changing her mind!

[GorillaTheater]

Like if my gf said to me "you look stupid in that hat", I'd know she doesn't like the hat - but some girls don't think in the same way, they take it personal.

 

Jesus, apparently. I'm looking at this thread wondering why in the hell some of the women are digging in their heels so hard.

 

I can't count the times my wife has felt that I was dressing inappropriately for the occasion. "You're going to wear THAT??" "Well no, I guess I'm not".

 

It's not that big of a deal, and she's usually right.

 

I mean, Christ, some of you ladies are defending Hello Kitty the way my brother-in-law defends gun ownership. "You'll get my Hello Kitty halter top when you pry it off my cold, dead boobs!"

[ASG]

This^

 

Is probably become one of these....your taking about the clothes, and mean the clothes and she hears you talking about the clothes, and thinks your knocking her...identity as a whole!

 

Like if my gf said to me "you look stupid in that hat", I'd know she doesn't like the hat - but some girls don't think in the same way, they take it personal.

 

You probably should of gone about it differently, when you asked her - just bought her something really nice to wear as a surprise, or gently mentioned the dress code - now its probably become a thing, in my experience once stuff becomes a thing you'll have one hell of a job changing her mind!

 

I agree with this.

 

I remember this one time I got REALLY upset with my ex. We were going to meet his mom for lunch at the Lords. So obviously we needed to dress appropriately. But his take on appropriate and mine differed slightly.

He went off on me because the shoes I was planning on wearing weren't what he had in mind.

I was wearing black trousers, blazer and some sort of top, so needed black shoes. Now.. I don't have classic black shoes. In fact I don't have ANY classic shoes because my style is anything BUT. So I'd taken a pair of black heeled boots that also have laces. It was either that or my Rocket Dogs with pink animals on the side.

I thought the boots were perfectly acceptable. I mean... It's not formal, it's only business-y.

 

He didn't agree. He said those were hooker boots and that I couldn't wear them. Now... that really struck a nerve. Because, even without meaning to, he actually was calling ME a hooker, since I wear those boots, regularly as well!

 

He wanted me to go buy some new shoes right there and then, about an hour before we were due for lunch. I digged my heels. No way was I buying shoes just because he wasn't happy with my choice. I ended up wearing my pink animal on the side boots. Did anyone notice? Of course not.

 

But that was something that made a dent in the enjoyment of the day.

 

And this is why I can kinda see where the OP's girlfriend is coming from.

[Mascara]

You know what, this isn't an attack on individual style. I'm all for that. It's about being a grown up and recognising that there are times where we are EXPECTED to dress and behave in a certain way. Job interviews, weddings, meeting the parents, funerals.

 

Just as I wouldn't turn up to a wedding wearing jeans and tennis shoes, I'd meet the family dressed appropriately if the venue demanded it. I wouldn't see it as a personal insult to my freedom of expression, because I'm a grown up and that's how these things work.

[Shepp]

I can't count the times my wife has felt that I was dressing inappropriately for the occasion. "You're going to wear THAT??" "Well no, I guess I'm not".

 

Haha I know - if the genders were reversed in this thread everyone would be like "dude, just wear what she wants" - haha, women are from Venus right haha!

 

 

]I thought the boots were perfectly acceptable. I mean... It's not formal, it's only business-y.

 

He didn't agree. He said those were hooker boots and that I couldn't wear them. Now... that really struck a nerve. Because, even without meaning to, he actually was calling ME a hooker, since I wear those boots, regularly as well!

 

I had no idea there was so many gok wan wannabes who tell there girlfriends what to wear!! .....I always trust most girls fashions sense over my own hahah!

[Grumpybutfun]

Jesus, apparently. I'm looking at this thread wondering why in the hell some of the women are digging in their heels so hard.

 

I can't count the times my wife has felt that I was dressing inappropriately for the occasion. "You're going to wear THAT??" "Well no, I guess I'm not".

 

It's not that big of a deal, and she's usually right.

 

I mean, Christ, some of you ladies are defending Hello Kitty the way my brother-in-law defends gun ownership. "You'll get my Hello Kitty halter top when you pry it off my cold, dead boobs!"

 

 

I just spewed a drink of Dr. Pepper everywhere....God, GorillaTheater, I am laughing so hard my side aches. From the land of rabid gun ownership, the frenzy of which you speak wasn't lost on me. This kid is putting up with a lot of idiocy for a cute girl....he must be a hunchbacked leper with no teeth and the personality of a rock to keep this girl around.

G

[bluegreen]

So she expects you to respect her personal style but refused to bend even that much in such serious occasion as meeting your family and for few hours only?

So she disrespects you your family time energy and effort to get together social boundaries and behavior and you are here asking us what we think about it?

 

 

Dude are you for real

Leave that immature sense lacking brat at kindergarten steps and don't look back ...

[saltyfishhead666]

I just spewed a drink of Dr. Pepper everywhere....God, GorillaTheater, I am laughing so hard my side aches. From the land of rabid gun ownership, the frenzy of which you speak wasn't lost on me. This kid is putting up with a lot of idiocy for a cute girl....he must be a hunchbacked leper with no teeth and the personality of a rock to keep this girl around.

G

 

Bahahahahahahahahaha!!!

[Arieswoman]

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=hello+kitty&client=firefox-a&hs=bEa&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&channel=np&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=qf9fU5bYI4LGPIGFgYgP&ved=0CE8QsAQ&biw=1024&bih=598

[preraph]

I'm saying this is your wake-up call. You haven't cared what she wore before because you think she looks sexy in anything, including preteen clothing. So now you're finding out who she actually IS and that you can't just stay in your bubble with her and have sex; sometimes you will have to trot her out in public. Besides that, unless she wants to work at a preschool, she's going to have to start dressing more adult in order to secure and hold employment!

 

I am all for individuality, but when it comes to clothing, you dress for who you want to become, not the layabout you really are, if you ever want to accomplish anything. I think you've got to get real about who she is now and decide if this is a mature enough person for you outside of bed.

[GorillaTheater]

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=hello+kitty&client=firefox-a&hs=bEa&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&channel=np&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=qf9fU5bYI4LGPIGFgYgP&ved=0CE8QsAQ&biw=1024&bih=598

 

http://nelasportswear.com/wp-content/uploads/imported/costume-happy-kitty-nelasportswear.jpg

 

"Okay! I'm ready to go!"

[AncientEchos]

Well, you already know what to do, you told her to dress appropriately or to stay at home. Hopefully you will stick with that.

 

On another note, I believe you need to continue to cling to this girl with every fiber of your being and I will tell you why, she has an invaluable life lesson to teach you. Just as most girls/young women need to learn the hard way that no bad boy will turn into a good man for her, most boys/young men need to learn the hard way that a certain brand of crazy is never fully compensated for by any level of hotness. This girl is going to chew you up, spit you out and leave you in pieces. Hopefully you will not only be stronger, but wiser as well when all is said and done.

[ASG]

I'm saying this is your wake-up call. You haven't cared what she wore before because you think she looks sexy in anything, including preteen clothing. So now you're finding out who she actually IS and that you can't just stay in your bubble with her and have sex; sometimes you will have to trot her out in public. Besides that, unless she wants to work at a preschool, she's going to have to start dressing more adult in order to secure and hold employment!

 

I am all for individuality, but when it comes to clothing, you dress for who you want to become, not the layabout you really are, if you ever want to accomplish anything. I think you've got to get real about who she is now and decide if this is a mature enough person for you outside of bed.

 

The bolded is not true... I'm 31, I work. Have done since I was 18. My hair has been all colours for quite a few years now. For the past 2 it has sported quite a few bits of green!

I wear whatever I want to work. The past few years it's been different, since my line of work requires wearing black, but I usually keep my blacks at work and change in and out.

My style is not so much age appropriate, as it is body appropriate. The skirts I got away with when I was 20lbs lighter I can't really pull off now!

 

Of course I know how to dress for different occasions. I don't wear short skirts to job interviews. I'll probably wear jeans.

 

In my line of work no one really cares what colour your hair is, how many piercings or tattoos you have or is you're wearing a My Little Pony hoodie that has wings and ears and a mane (I am! Just in case you were wondering! 31 years old!)

 

Honestly, we're judging the girl (who, fair enough, has shown time and again she is selfish) without even knowing how she dresses and what she was planning to wear. The OP mentioned Hello Kitty and everyone is already picturing her in a Hello Kitty outfit... I don't think that's the actual truth.

 

but until the OP comes back, I won't know, I suppose.

 

I just find it funny how people are judging a girl based on the way she dresses when you don't even know what way that is...

 

[ASG, fighting all prejudices, one thread at a time]

[bluegreen]

You missed one very big important point here ma'm : If she can on street her mom's house or work strand a broom and wear blooming hat of 10 colors chrysanthemums great for her !!!!

 

BUT this is not one of those situations read the post again its

"meeting family of your s/o so show some freaking respect for them if not him

and its fine dining restaurant"

 

 

 

What else needs to be explained ?

[Haydn]

Lumo, maybe you could wear each others clothes? Conversation would flow.

 

Ive always felt more comfy in a dress. (On my days off)

[ASG]

You missed one very big important point here ma'm : If she can on street her mom's house or work strand a broom and wear blooming hat of 10 colors chrysanthemums great for her !!!!

 

BUT this is not one of those situations read the post again its

"meeting family of your s/o so show some freaking respect for them if not him

and its fine dining restaurant"

 

 

 

What else needs to be explained ?

 

 

She has offered to wear one item that will make her outfit "formal" but the fact is that she refuses not to wear bright colours like a 10 year old.

 

This, from the OP. Formal does NOT mean black/white. It CAN in fact be bright colours! Heck, have you seen ball gowns? It doesn't get more formal than that and most of them are in the brightest colours you can imagine!

 

I don't know how she dresses. I only know that it involves bright colours. And also that she offered to wear something that would make her attire suitable, only the OP doesn't think bright colours are acceptable.

 

I mean... If she was intending on wearing black jeans, with a bright yellow top and a blazer, it would be fairly formal for a nice restaurant. Again, I don't know what she intends on wearing.

 

Maybe if she is thinking of a hot pink tutu skirt with ripped tights it would not be appropriate, but we don't really have enough information.

Just that the OP wants her to dress differently to impress HIS BROTHER. It's not even about the restaurant's dress code. It's about what he thinks his brother will think if she shows up in bright colours "like a 10 year old".

[seekingpeaceinlove]

Your gf will continue to step all over you until you take a stand. You aren't being unreasonable by asking her to tone down for 1 night to meet your family. She's selfish, immature and you've been letting her get away with acting like a brat since the start of your relationship. It'll only get worse from here. If she really cared about you, she would compromise for one night. It means a lot to you for her to meet your family in a respectful and presentable way so if should mean a lot to her.

 

I used to be like your gf at 20. I was defiant, uncompromising and incredibly selfish. If the guy allowed, I would walk all over him and act like a princess. If I didn't get what I wanted I would either cut the guy off or pout until he came around. I was a b*tch.. sweet when things were good but bratty when I didn't and I always had to get my way.

 

Now, I look back at SMH and laugh at my behavior. I feel bad for the way I treated those boys.

 

I understand that this is your first relationship and you feel lucky because your girl is "out of your league." However, you know, I know and we all know that her behavior will only get worse as time goes on. She knows she has you wrapped around her pinky finger and is going to try and push you as much as you allow her.

 

Take a stand. Your gf is only thinking about herself and not one bit about you. Don't take her to the dinner. Your brothers can see a pic of her if you want to show them how "hot" she is..