chrisftw Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 This girl i'm talking to we click well. have shared a lot of good times and She has high interest in me. Thing is she popped that she wanted to move and will probably make that effective come fall. she's moving 12 hours away. and asked if i'd do an LDR. in my history they've never worked out the girl always met another guy. And who can blame them they don't have the soft touch, the cuddling no interaction outside of electronic devices and skype. with the once every few month visit. I tried to express to her why i feel that wouldn't work and all she could do was cry that i didn't think she was worth it to fight for her and try to make it work. she left crying that night and the next day i didnt' speak to her until late at night until she texted me saying she wanted to say something but was at a lost for words. She then said she thinks i'm just a fling to her until she moves. then she tried to friendzone me saying... "i still would like to make memories with you this summer." I said no offense but if you feel that this is how it has to be with me in the friend zone and me watching you bang other guys etc... I respectfully decline. She retracted her friendzone request and said what's the difference if we leave each other in the fall? all i said was you'd be letting things work their natural course and things and situations can always change. and i left it at that. TLDR: I like girl she likes me, she is moving in the fall 12 hours away. asked if i would do a LDR with her i said NO but i gave reasons why i feel it wouldn't work. She friendzoned me. i declined the offer she back peddled. Did i handle this correctly? she still seems warm and not cold but i can tell its weighing on her. Because her attitude is more gloomy.
Blaze997 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Yeah you did the right thing. There's nothing you can do here except stand your ground. At the worst, you avoid the eventual problems with a LTR, at best she decides staying is more important. But you get nothing by giving in and accepting the idea of a LTR. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Not everybody is built for an LDR. You are not. You were honest with her about the fact that you don't want this. Sometimes circumstances just drive people apart.
Author chrisftw Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 Not everybody is built for an LDR. You are not. You were honest with her about the fact that you don't want this. Sometimes circumstances just drive people apart. i reminded her about my ex who moved away much like she wants to who i dated for 2 1/2 years. she met another guy. and it nearly broke me. then i asked her if she's ever had an LDR she said yes. and when she started to validate it saying she had one for 3 years. i cut her off and said and what happened? she's like well i decided i wanted something new. i'm like ok then. and so did my ex and so did anybody else's ex who i've ever known who tried to have a LDR. its so RARE they work and the only reason they do is because plans are made for both parties to be closer. i don't think she's being rational and i think. no i feel that for whatever reason she wants absolute certainty in a most uncertain thing. (relationships). that and she wants her security blanket when she moves away until she doesn't need "blankey" anymore and decides to do what ALL the other women who i've had LDR's with. toss me to the side. And i don't blame them. it sucks how she all the sudden wants to up and move (she had a failed job experience which set her back) and thinks that uprooting and moving will change everything. its not. and it won't. but i kept all this to myself and said "listen i always said dream big. if your dream is to move to the Carolina's then get it done and do what you need to do." So i'm supporting her in that at least.
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