solost28 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 So yesterday i posted my story under husbands affair resulted in baby. I heard a lot of things i didnt want to hear but needed to. What i left out was that hes been caught txting other women innapropriately (including a girl he met in a bar) since he told me about the pregnancy. So i know its really not getting better. So i stayed up and made a plan. I would have to go to welfare since financially i cant survive on my own. I would have to find a place and get it all set up taking things from the hoyse little by little so he wont notice. He works during the day so when it all set have someone help me with the rest and leave. I would have to go for custody the same day. This man is vengeful like u wouldnt believe.he will stop at nothing to hurt me including taking my kids. Im terrified . Im sad . I love him but he will never change and i cant do this anymore. 3
Owl Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I don't know where you live...but if you truly fear for yourself and your children from his vengeance, you should consider going to a woman's shelter for assistance. Perhaps get a restraining order (if he has any kind of record of abuse, this should be simple). Take measures to protect yourself from him, rather than just hope he won't find you. 7
harrybrown Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I think he would have a hard time taking your kids from you. I thought that the courts were favorable to the mother. Has he been telling you something that is not true? 2
notserene Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 You what try contacting Legal Aid as they should be able to tell you what your legal rights are in this situation. 1
Betterthanthis13 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 If you are not sure where to begin, and if you are in the US, you can dial 211 from your phone and they will point you in the right direction to get the resources/ help you need. 2-1-1 Call Center Search
BHsigh Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I think he would have a hard time taking your kids from you. I thought that the courts were favorable to the mother. Has he been telling you something that is not true? This is slowly changing, for the better I might add. In OP's particular case the court may favor her, but it is not a guarantee anymore. It also highly depends on which state she lives in, there are still some backwards states that automatically think that women are better parents than men, but those are also the states that generally will take an affair into consideration when granting a divorce/custody/alimony. The state generally looks at what is best for the child, nothing more, nothing less. If she can prove that he is a bad father, or a drug abuser or anything like that, then they will favor her. But considering that she will have to go on welfare and assuming that she doesn't have a job, that may count against her in his favor. OP, you really need to get legal advice, laws vary from state to state, and your state's laws may make my statement just look foolish, or spot on in your situation. I'm not a lawyer and I have never studied law, so I can't say what will happen in your case, the legal aid suggestion is one that you should follow.. 1
Author solost28 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 I have been thru this plenty if times. I kno wat hell do . Hes gone as far as had me falsely arrested so he could take the kids but he always gives them back. Hes been arrested at least 20 times for domestic violence and another dozen times for assault on top of dwi ive had numerous restraining orders and have been to a battered womens shelter twice its all on paper . I just coyld nvr go all the way through with anything so this time i have to gfor mine and my kids' sake
Owl Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I have been thru this plenty if times. I kno wat hell do . Hes gone as far as had me falsely arrested so he could take the kids but he always gives them back. Hes been arrested at least 20 times for domestic violence and another dozen times for assault on top of dwi ive had numerous restraining orders and have been to a battered womens shelter twice its all on paper . I just coyld nvr go all the way through with anything so this time i have to gfor mine and my kids' sake Then as you've said here...you know what to do. You need to take action...and not cave in and go back...for your kids. You need to keep this at the front of your mind at all times...this time HAS TO BE DIFFERENT. You CANNOT GO BACK. YOU need to be the one to break the cycle. 2
simplyimpressed Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 Take it all in go if u want the other half of her story check out her other post and scroll to mine
Raena Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 OP it appears someone you know has figured out who you are and has come on here trying to rat you out. I hope you are able to come back and read and post here... even if it is under another name. It sounds like you really need a place to come and vent your feelings about what has happened to you anonymously. If you do get to read this, please do whatever it takes to get yourself out of this dysfunctional relationship. No matter what it is that you did that was also wrong, the entire situation is dysfunctional and not good for you or for your children. Don't beat yourself up about your poor choices and don't let anyone badger you into feeling like it's all your fault either. It sounds like you both made poor choices and one of you needs to be strong enough to walk away before it gets worse. Best of luck to you!
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