CherryBlossom200 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Hey everyone, I've been going out with someone for 3 months,we are 'officially' boyfriend and girlfriend now and he seems fairly serious about me. Recently, he's been introducing me to all his close friends and family but hasn't actually said the 3 magic words yet! Though a lot of his actions would suggest that he is in love. I just wondered if a guy introduces you to those closest to him, does it mean he is in love? Thanks! CherryB xx
MissBee Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 (edited) Those words aren't "magic"... I would first get that out of your head. Focus on growing your relationship and building something instead of hearing those words. Whenever he feels it right to verbalize them he will. I have had men say they loved me in 2 weeks and it all fell apart and they didn't really know what that meant, so I'd focus on his actions and if he is treating you well over hearing him say three words that are not magic but that anyone can say. Meeting family and friends doesn't necessarily mean he is in love, but it could mean he is serious about you as a part of his life (although for some people meeting family and friends is standard and it doesn't mean anything). You can simply ask him how he feels or what this step means to him...asking your partner himself these questions seems like a way to build a better relationship than iffing butting and guessing, as none of us here can say what is in his mind for sure. Edited April 28, 2014 by MissBee 2
acrosstheuniverse Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 It's a good sign that he probably sees you in his life for some time to come. I wouldn't worry too much about the ILY words, just focus on getting to know one another and building your relationship. Even if he's not in love yet he clearly likes you right now enough to integrate you into his circle. I too have had guys say ILY three weeks in and then bail after a few months as they mistook infatuation for love. How he treats you and his actions are more important right now than words.
Author CherryBlossom200 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 Thanks guys! TBH the relationship is pretty amazing, his actions and things he does for me would suggest he is in love..but I'm not 'fixated' with the wordsor anything, I just wondered
jonsnuh Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 How old are you OP? I was 17 and I thought meeting the parents and friends was a good idea... on our first date! It was only a concert assignment I had to do with her required for school, but looking back to it... it was foolish of me to meet them that early.
Author CherryBlossom200 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 The man in question is in his late 30's
mtber75 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 In most cultures, introducing to the family is a step towards marriage. So I would say he is serious. Good Luck! 1
Mrin Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I dunno about love but it is a good good sign. For guys, it is a vulnerability thing right? It is one thing to date a woman and not introduce her to your close friends and family. If the relationship goes boom - no big deal. "I dunno, she went nuts" is the familiar refrain. But the second you make that intro you now have ties and if the relationship goes boom, at a bare minimum you have to face the music with your friends and family. To look at it a different way, it is sort of like measuring the rooms of a house you want to buy to see if your furniture fits. Same thing - he's introducing you to his inner circle to find out 1) their opinion of you and 2) to see how you mesh into his life. Again, all positive. So - like others, not sure if he's in love but he's definitely on the right track. Unless you are way younger and hotter than him - then he might just be bragging. ;-) but that's okay too.
Chocolat Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I must be the outlier here. I used to introduce guys I was dating to my family, regardless whether I was in love. In my family, this type of meeting was no big deal, it was just something that would happen. Very relaxed and informal. It's the same way with my kids, now that they are dating. I like it this way. 2
Author CherryBlossom200 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 Thanks guys, I'm just going with the flow and see what happens! But I'm in love definitley! xx 2
MissBee Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 In most cultures, introducing to the family is a step towards marriage. So I would say he is serious. Good Luck! This isn't true. Lots of people meet family and never get married, so I would absolutely not read into this. I say she enjoy the relationship, keep growing and have talks with her guy as she sees fit and over time it will become clear. Chances are it is a good sign that he is at least serious, but again this depends, does he normally introduce women to his family, how does he view it? For some men it's a big deal for others it isn't, hence paying attention to his personal stance is a lot more telling than assuming based on "most cultures" or what other people do. 1
Author CherryBlossom200 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 For reasons which I won't go into I think this is a pretty massive deal introducing me to his close net group of people, also with ex's I don't think he introduced them formally in the way he is with me. They just tagged along at functions, but he is making a big effort to introduce me on a week by week basis to those closest to him.
acrosstheuniverse Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 That's nice. My current bf of a few months took me home to meet his parents last week (a two day sleepover at their house!), it's the first time he's taken a girl home and only the second time he's introduced a girl to his parents (last time he'd been with her a year and a half and they just met in a cafe). Made me feel pretty special. For me on the other hand meeting the folks is no big deal. I often introduce guys after a couple months, just informally when the guy happens to be with me and I'm popping over for something or whatever. Obviously it means they're more than a FWB to me and I wouldn't introduce someone I wasn't sure about but it's not like my parents go 'omg she's found her future husband!' It's just that I'm dating the guy at that time. So i would say, look at his history of doing this kinda stuff if you want an idea of what it 'means'
Author CherryBlossom200 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 Well this might help with explaining things. The guy in question, has a visa to live in Oz (he is British) he told me on our 2nd date (initially he was only looking for something casual until he left in June) but upon meeting me I think his feelings changed. I said I would go with him, but obviously he would have to wait until I can 'attach' myself to his VISA in whatever way that may be. Obviously it was a bit rocky with Oz in the picture at first as he felt very torn with wanting to leave in June and wanting to be with me. But we get on so well that naturally things have progressed and becoming more and more serious. I'm not putting any pressure on him and letting him dictate the pace which seems to work perfectly. Hence he has started to introduce me more and more to his inner circle, which I'm hoping is showing more commitment to me. Plus we are off on hols soon for nearly a week. We have only been together for 3 months, but I think we are doing well I'm really happy. But now you can see how me meeting his closest friends/family is quite a big deal with oz in the picture...
jonsnuh Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Well this might help with explaining things. The guy in question, has a visa to live in Oz (he is British) he told me on our 2nd date (initially he was only looking for something casual until he left in June) but upon meeting me I think his feelings changed. I said I would go with him, but obviously he would have to wait until I can 'attach' myself to his VISA in whatever way that may be. Obviously it was a bit rocky with Oz in the picture at first as he felt very torn with wanting to leave in June and wanting to be with me. But we get on so well that naturally things have progressed and becoming more and more serious. I'm not putting any pressure on him and letting him dictate the pace which seems to work perfectly. Hence he has started to introduce me more and more to his inner circle, which I'm hoping is showing more commitment to me. Plus we are off on hols soon for nearly a week. We have only been together for 3 months, but I think we are doing well I'm really happy. But now you can see how me meeting his closest friends/family is quite a big deal with oz in the picture... Congrats to you . Is he a wizard by profession, by any chance? I heard they're looking for one after an incident involving a scarecrow, a lion, a tin man and a Kansas girl with a dog.
Gaeta Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Sorry to rain on your parade but it means nothing or should I say It means what it means in HIS world, not yours. In your world introducing a bf means it's getting serious, doesn't mean that's the same in HIS world. I have a brother that brings a new girl each Christmas, we know by Easter he'll have a different one. In his world bringing a gf means nothing. I also dated a man who introduced me to his children and I wrongly interpreted this as he viewed me seriously. Turned out he did that with every girl he met on the net. 1
SoonMyFriend Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I echo what Gaeta says. For me - meetings friends isn't a sign of love, but it means I am getting more serious about someone. It's another step in the "does this guy fit in my life" journey. Meeting family though IS a big deal as I am very close to them and their opinion means a great deal. BUT it isn't an "I LOVE YOU" situation necessarily, just again, another step in that direction. My last boyfriend (now ex), viewed meeting friends & family as no big deal, or ANY indication of seriousness. To him, it was just something that happens. Just make sure you're both clear on what these milestones mean so one of you doesn't end up on the wrong page.
soccerrprp Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Hey everyone, I've been going out with someone for 3 months,we are 'officially' boyfriend and girlfriend now and he seems fairly serious about me. Recently, he's been introducing me to all his close friends and family but hasn't actually said the 3 magic words yet! Though a lot of his actions would suggest that he is in love. I just wondered if a guy introduces you to those closest to him, does it mean he is in love? Thanks! CherryB xx No, it does not NECESSARILY mean that he is in love, but that he is comfortable with you and willing to share you with his friends and family. If not a complete player, it is a good sign.
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