cdt76 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Dated a girl for 2 months. Broke it off 2 weeks ago, when I found out she was texting/seeing/banging other dudes. Went no contact last week after I got my tools back from her. Deleted her on facebook. Deleted on the dating site where I met her. Was doing dishes yesterday and got a text from her saying she was going to get a restraining order against me. I was like "for what? I haven't talked to your or seen you". She said I was stalking her online. I said, no. I deleted you on facebook and I have no desire to see or talk to you online or in real life. She wrote some comment about IP addresses can be traced. For real, no contact is no contact. I told her all that and then ended it with, I broke it off with you, remember?? Then little later she writes back that she has a detective on the case and hope is isn't me. Again, I said come look through my computers and phone. I want nothing to do with you and please delete my number so you can't contact me anymore. Question is: How do you protect yourself from these types of crazy things? I mean, it's pretty easy to prove it isn't me but why can't she just leave me alone with all that nonesense?
FredJones80 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Sounds like you should just ignore her, responding is poking the bear. 1
amaysngrace Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Good for you for recognizing that no amount of sex is worth crazy. That's something that I tell my boys regularly. I'd just let it go. Let her track the IP and file her restraining order on the right person. You never know....it may even bring them closer.
carhill Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 You wouldn't have gotten the text and posted this thread if you had blocked her number or changed yours. Eliminating all contact methods is a good way to protect from crazy. In-person crazy, like if she knows where you live and shows up, can be considered a threat and 5150, meaning danger to self or others and 911 can solve that kind of crazy. IME, she'll latch on to another target and you'll never interact with her again.
Author cdt76 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 Yeah, you are right. I should just not respond to any of that nonsense. I did get one final jab in. Told her maybe she should stick with just seeing one person at a time that way it doesn't get all F-ed up on her". I just don't want anything to do with any of that.
guest572 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Definitely keep ignoring her, i think she just wants a response/reaction 1
Elle1975 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Dated a girl for 2 months. Broke it off 2 weeks ago, when I found out she was texting/seeing/banging other dudes. Went no contact last week after I got my tools back from her. Deleted her on facebook. Deleted on the dating site where I met her. Was doing dishes yesterday and got a text from her saying she was going to get a restraining order against me. I was like "for what? I haven't talked to your or seen you". She said I was stalking her online. I said, no. I deleted you on facebook and I have no desire to see or talk to you online or in real life. She wrote some comment about IP addresses can be traced. For real, no contact is no contact. I told her all that and then ended it with, I broke it off with you, remember?? Then little later she writes back that she has a detective on the case and hope is isn't me. Again, I said come look through my computers and phone. I want nothing to do with you and please delete my number so you can't contact me anymore. Question is: How do you protect yourself from these types of crazy things? I mean, it's pretty easy to prove it isn't me but why can't she just leave me alone with all that nonesense? Do keep those text messages. There is an option on most phones, when the call starts, to record the calls. I would go to the police and ask for advice. Do block her on your phone and maybe contact your phone provider see if they keep any track of you blocking her. Wtf is wrong with people...
Author cdt76 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 I have kept our text conversation since I sent her packing. Figured I might need it in the future....boy was I right. Elle, I don't know what is wrong with people anymore. Honesty and integrity are no longer characteristics that are taught and adhered too. Does she really think that she is all that, that I'd not run away as fast as I could and stay away and thank my lucky stars that I found out this early in the process that she is nuts???? Dating is no fun anymore.
Elle1975 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I have kept our text conversation since I sent her packing. Figured I might need it in the future....boy was I right. Elle, I don't know what is wrong with people anymore. Honesty and integrity are no longer characteristics that are taught and adhered too. Does she really think that she is all that, that I'd not run away as fast as I could and stay away and thank my lucky stars that I found out this early in the process that she is nuts???? Dating is no fun anymore. I understand that people get their feelings hurt in a break up. However, there is a difference between begging/crying and going restraining order/psycho on someone. Just dump me, I assure you I will go NC LOL!
KaliLove Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Unfortunately a lot of people hide their crazy very well. My ex did. You just have to keep your ears and eyes open. Luckily you only wasted 2 months on this chick.
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 The short answer is you can't completely protect yourself from crazies like her. If you did all the things you say you did then you have nothing to worry about. She sounds like she's a bit of a nut job to begin with and is probably just one of those people who loves drama and stirring up sh*t. My best advice is not to respond to any of her calls or messages. Go completely NO contact no matter what and eventually she'll get bored and stop reaching out. Continue acknowledging her and you're only fueling her own disillusion. Good luck.
lauri Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 My brother dated a girl just as crazy. She ended up going to a lawyers office, got them to draft up a letter, she changed the writing on it and tried to corner my brother into staying with her. She faked being pregnant...was really hard on my family but I contacted the lawyers office and found out the truth. She showed up at my house threatening my family and saying we have to support the baby (which we obviously would have). She even scratched up my moms care because my brother brokeup with her! I had to corner her one day in my house with a pregnancy test and she refused to do it, and then I knew for sure she wasn't pregnant and we got a restraining order against her. But to answer your question, its not possible to avoid. My brothers mistake was not dealing with the situation immediately. Next time she texts you, tell her you are really worried for her safety and are going to go to the police first thing. Then actually go to the police, talk to them about your situation and get advice. Sad thing is, this could really get out of hand and can put you into some trouble if she starts to falsely accuse you of things. I understand that doing NC is normally the best way, but my brother tried it and it got REALLY out of hand. I just don't want this to happen to you man. I bet you, as soon as you tell her you are going to go to the police station for her, she will start to squirm and say "don't do it, I already did" and etc etc etc. The best way to deal with girls like this is call their bluff, if not it'll snowball out of control.
Author cdt76 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 I just want it to go away. I don't want all that drama and stress. My life is great I don't have any mess and definitely don't want hers. No idea what's going on in her life but I'd like to just be done with it. If she ever texts again then I'll just ignore it and keep it as proof that I don't talk to her. Geeze. People are crazy just like in that country song!
carhill Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 One thing to be aware of, presuming you're young..... life is hopefully long for you and it is full of changes and challenges and very few of us are static throughout it. We live, grow, change, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse, sometimes back and forth. No guarantees. Right now, in this dynamic, with this particular young lady, she's crazy to you, as well as apparently unfaithful. That could be her life path; that's possible, as are a myriad of other life paths she's yet to discover. Same for you. Good luck!
Author cdt76 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 I'm 43. So I've been around enough to have seen this before. I can tell you this much. the two of us were not on the same life path at all.
Elle1975 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I'm 43. So I've been around enough to have seen this before. I can tell you this much. the two of us were not on the same life path at all. At 43 you really do not need the drama. How old is she?
Author cdt76 Posted April 29, 2014 Author Posted April 29, 2014 She was 31. We meshed (in the beginning) really well because we both work out and run and take really good care of ourselves. First time I'd dated a girl who was as into fitness as I am. Well, turns out she wasn't into keeping her mind fit. I've been divorced since 2007 and it seems that crazy has become the new norm. That dishonesty and this theory of the grass being greener, has somehow become a perverted truth. I don't understand how people grow older and yet become less honest! So what that we have all been hurt and cheated on and lied to. It happened in the past. I don't hold the past against the new people in meet in life. Well, I'm more cautious but I like to call it trust with verification. And that's ok because in front of that is happiness. I'm happy. Love my life, have a nice job and house and I'm in some of the best shape of my life. I just find it so damn hard to find someone who is in that same place of emotional harmony. Where are the women who keep themselves in good shape, with good jobs and happy children? Where? I don't know where to meet them. Almost 100% of the women I've met since 2007 have been emotionally damaged, some even broken and I don't know if it's simply my choice of women or an epidemic of psychological malfunction of our society today. I'm not perfect and have screwed up in the past. But I live everyday trying not to make those same mistakes. Where are the women who live like that?
Author cdt76 Posted April 29, 2014 Author Posted April 29, 2014 She was 31. We meshed (in the beginning) really well because we both work out and run and take really good care of ourselves. First time I'd dated a girl who was as into fitness as I am. Well, turns out she wasn't into keeping her mind fit. I've been divorced since 2007 and it seems that crazy has become the new norm. That dishonesty and this theory of the grass being greener, has somehow become a perverted truth. I don't understand how people grow older and yet become less honest! So what that we have all been hurt and cheated on and lied to. It happened in the past. I don't hold the past against the new people in meet in life. Well, I'm more cautious but I like to call it trust with verification. And that's ok because in front of that is happiness. I'm happy. Love my life, have a nice job and house and I'm in some of the best shape of my life. I just find it so damn hard to find someone who is in that same place of emotional harmony. Where are the women who keep themselves in good shape, with good jobs and happy children? Where? I don't know where to meet them. Almost 100% of the women I've met since 2007 have been emotionally damaged, some even broken and I don't know if it's simply my choice of women or an epidemic of psychological malfunction of our society today. I'm not perfect and have screwed up in the past. But I live everyday trying not to make those same mistakes. Where are the women who live like that?
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