Winning my long distance relationship back

[jools182]

I've been with my ukrainian girlfriend for 2 years

 

We've met many times in France, Poland and Belgium during this time, usually a week at a time, a couple of times for 2 weeks

 

I don't fly very well which is why we have always met somewhere in between our own countries, and she hasn't visited the UK due to the fact the visitors visas are difficult to get

 

We talk every day using instant messaging and skype

 

Every time we have met has been better and better, we seem to grow closer each time. We both feel like we somehow found each other and we have both said that we found the one.

 

I love her so much

 

I can give you a little background on her personality. She's quiet, deep, reserved, feisty, a thinker. She does have changeable moods like most people, but she can be prone to bouts of depression, often feeling very emotional for weeks at a time. I do talk to her about it and she says she's always been this way and she recently went for tests on hormone levels to see if this affects her.

 

The last time we met was late February in Paris. It was more perfect than ever. Everything was fantastic, lots of love, laughing, romance, intamacy.

 

When I returned home I had to move house and pretty much was doing it without any help. I was busy and tired and stressed and probably not talking to her as much as I could do usually. I explained this to her, we still talked daily and I reassured her that I loved her etc

 

The past month though she's been different with me. Quiet. Still talking but not really conversing. I ask her what's wrong etc, but like I mentioned before, she can close up, and only talks about emotional things when she's ready. Anyway last week she seemed really angry, so I said just tell me what is wrong. She told me she's been thinking about things and she's not sure she can leave her mother and friends. We talked about marriage early last year. I proposed in the summer. We had decided last year that we would apply for a fiancee visa so we can be together and get married. We discussed where to get married etc.

 

She's recently had problems with her skin which caused her to have a month at home. I know how she hates being home as she needs to be busy, out with her mum, at the gym, she doesn't drink so doesn't go out at night, but she often goes straight from work to her mother's place of work just to keep busy.

 

I think this time at home has given her too much time to think and made her a little down again and that's where all this is coming from. Also the trouble in her country is on her mind.

 

She seems angry with me. I have sent her gifts and last week I sent her flowers twice. She said thanks for the flowers, they are nice, but I didn't have to.

 

I really don't know what to do. She sometimes seems angry when I talk to her. I stopped messaging her on Thursday because I thought I'd give her some time. I didn't hear anything until today when she randomly sends me a few messages about a certain brand of moisturiser and if it's available in the UK. I found it strange but answered with 'Yes, we can get it here', and since then no response

 

I don't know if no contact is what to do or not. She's the love of my life. Sure she's complicated, but I honestly feel like she's the one and I don't know what to do

 

Obviously I'm suffering like hell now. Can't eat sleep etc, I'm just trying to keep busy

[Jiivy]

I can't even tell....are you still together or not? Because this *is* the breakup subforum, and it's not already ended, I have a feeling you know it's already gone.

 

If she won't commit due to these factors, then it's her choice. At the end of the day, we can't control or stop other people's decision - particularly about love. When it comes down to it, she has to make a choice between making a life with you and leaving behind the life she knows.

 

I think she made her choice.

[lauri]

This reminds me of my long distance relationship.

 

She is pulling away from you and she is most likely going to end it (if she hasn't already). Its difficult to maintain a long distance relationship....way too hard. I strongly suggest if she hasn't ended it with you, you end it yourself because this is going to end badly for you if you don't.

 

If you do have the courage to do this, two things may happen. She will either eventually realize that she shouldn't have been doing this to you or she will realize she really did lose interest in you and its over. Either way, you will find out the truth and won't waste your time. The way your LDR is going is not fair to you because communication is key.

 

If she did end it already, tell her you respect her decision and never contact her again. Trust me man, I know this is hard to swallow but it will save you from a lot of pain.

[Itspointless]

This reminds me of my long distance relationship.

It gave me some not so good flashbacks too. Hang in there man whatever you do.