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Boyfriend thinks Im communicating w/someone outside the window

saraveza408

By saraveza408
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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saraveza408 New Member

saraveza408

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My boyfriend & I have lived together for the past 2 1/2 yrs. (We have no kids together) Well lately at night he thinks Im communicating with someone outside the window. He thinks if I itch my nose its a sign to someone,or if i even look towards the window it will start this paranoia.

Never have I ever even once communicated w/anyone out the window.As a matter of fact it would be impossible to even be near the window outside because of the layout of the yard and plus we have a over sensitive pitbull who alerts us if a cats in the yard even.

Ive asked who he thinks Im communicating with & he doesnt say.

All of a sudden we will be sitting here watching TV & I can just tell he's starting to trip out. Next thing you know he is calling me a whore & he is convinced Im playing games. Its come to a point where it saddens me because Im wondering wtf is going on w/him mentally. Im questioning his mental stability. He's the type that there is no convincing him once he has something in his head.

Ive found tape recorders he puts in the room when he goes to the bathroom. He swears Im sneaking someone in while he is taking a crap ,having sex with them & then sneeking him out all during the 15 mins hes in the bathroom. Again,my pitbull will bark relentlessly if anyone ,anyone at all came into the house. Yet Im doing all this & magically keeping her silent at the same time.

I dont know what to do. Its ruining us. Its come to the point Im not crying when he accusses me of this anymore which is a bad sign with me.

 

(ps. he drinks alot.Not to where he is drunk drunk but its in his system)

HeartbrokenNewbie Established Member

HeartbrokenNewbie

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Do u have a pair of trainers only I would suggest putting them on and running as fast as u can!! he is mentally unstable!! x

ConfusedHumanBeing Established Member

ConfusedHumanBeing

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My boyfriend & I have lived together for the past 2 1/2 yrs. (We have no kids together) Well lately at night he thinks Im communicating with someone outside the window. He thinks if I itch my nose its a sign to someone,or if i even look towards the window it will start this paranoia.

Never have I ever even once communicated w/anyone out the window.As a matter of fact it would be impossible to even be near the window outside because of the layout of the yard and plus we have a over sensitive pitbull who alerts us if a cats in the yard even.

Ive asked who he thinks Im communicating with & he doesnt say.

All of a sudden we will be sitting here watching TV & I can just tell he's starting to trip out. Next thing you know he is calling me a whore & he is convinced Im playing games. Its come to a point where it saddens me because Im wondering wtf is going on w/him mentally. Im questioning his mental stability. He's the type that there is no convincing him once he has something in his head.

Ive found tape recorders he puts in the room when he goes to the bathroom. He swears Im sneaking someone in while he is taking a crap ,having sex with them & then sneeking him out all during the 15 mins hes in the bathroom. Again,my pitbull will bark relentlessly if anyone ,anyone at all came into the house. Yet Im doing all this & magically keeping her silent at the same time.

I dont know what to do. Its ruining us. Its come to the point Im not crying when he accusses me of this anymore which is a bad sign with me.

 

(ps. he drinks alot.Not to where he is drunk drunk but its in his system)

 

Crap, he's onto us. We need new signals :)

 

Okay seriously though, what the hell? His paranoia has reached SCARY levels. A tape recorder in the room when he goes to the bathroom?!? Thats VERY creepy and something needs to be done about that IMMEDIATELY. I'm not talking about "Well. I'll get to it tomorrow." I'm meaning NOW. This will ONLY get worse I promise you. Sounds like he has a lot of demons he needs massive help on and you cannot solve.

TigerLilly78 Established Member

TigerLilly78

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(ps. he drinks alot.Not to where he is drunk drunk but its in his system)

Yeah this..! not good at all. I lived with a drunk for a few years and he also had delusion's and issues I believe they were already there and the alcohol only compounds them. Even if he's not getting smashed its still in his system and is affecting his judgment to some level.

 

 

You NEED! to take a clear stand here and tell him one day when he's not had anything to drink that he needs to stop it and get help if he needs it or your leaving and stand by that. Believe me its not worth it your in the beginning stages of this it will only get much much worse..

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saraveza408 New Member

saraveza408

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....Believe me its not worth it your in the beginning stages of this it will only get much much worse..

what comes next?

HeartbrokenNewbie Established Member

HeartbrokenNewbie

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what comes next?

 

He will stop u leaving the house, isolate u from people, tell u how to dress, he shows high risk for physical and mental abuse x u will begin to tread on eggshells and fear him and eventually he will screw u up x there is also the possibility he could completely flip and kill u x

ConfusedHumanBeing Established Member

ConfusedHumanBeing

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what comes next?

 

Stalking, physical abuse, late night calls to you if you are hanging with friends, calls to your parents and friends about where you are ALL the time, HARDER substance abuse......

 

The list goes on.

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saraveza408 New Member

saraveza408

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i feel im already walkn on eggshells

HeartbrokenNewbie Established Member

HeartbrokenNewbie

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Then its started... u HAVE to get out of this for yours, your friends and your families safety. Things will progress very quickly x

lollipopspot Established Member

lollipopspot

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Ok, I'll internet-diagnose him. I think he is showing signs of paranoid schizophrenia, which often comes on in the 20s, sometimes a bit later or earlier. I think whatever is going on with him is dangerous for you, and you need to get yourself AND THE DOG out of there. Don't leave an animal with this guy. He needs serious help. Talk to his parents if possible.

 

I would not live with someone who is delusional, I think it's scary.

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TigerLilly78 Established Member

TigerLilly78

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what comes next?

 

 

You don't want to know....get out now!

KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

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I agree with Lollipop. It sounds like he has paranoid schizophrenia and he has a very high potential of becoming very very dangerous to you and to himself. Please get yourself out of there immediately (as in today) and notify his family. He is not stable and he is not well.

 

Google paranoid schizophrenia and check it out.

  • 2 weeks later...
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saraveza408 New Member

saraveza408

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he stopped this for awhile & now he started again. ...i wish he wasnt like this.

KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

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Really? You're still with your certifiably insane paranoid schizophrenic boyfriend? Wtf?

 

Do you not understand how dangerous he is?

Strength in Healing Established Member

Strength in Healing

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Lollipop/Kali has it right about his diagnosis. However, you all being quick to judge and bash him is incorrect. He is sick. It isn't in his control.

 

This guy would meet the qualifications for paranoid schizophrenia. I wish I could analyze him personally though to make it official.

 

It's sad, but he needs help. I hate to say abandon someone sick, but if you cannot get him help, it's done.

Edited by Strength in Healing
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KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

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Kali has it right about his diagnosis. However, you all being quick to judge him is incorrect. He is sick. It isn't in his control.

 

This guy would meet the qualifications for paranoid schizophrenia. I wish I could analyze him personally though to make it official.

 

It's sad, but he needs help. I hate to say abandon someone sick, but if you cannot get him help, it's done.

 

I don't see anyone here judging him at all. I understand that he's sick and that the illness is not his fault. But he doesn't seem to be doing anything to control his illness, or even acknowledging it for that matter, and I am genuinely worried for the OP's safety. I'm honestly afraid this guy is going to murder her or something. She cannot help him unless she is a mental healthcare professional. The only thing she can do is run. He has to take care of this himself.

Strength in Healing Established Member

Strength in Healing

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Lol Kali the second post in this topic by that person who always puts an x in their post for some reason:

 

 

Do u have a pair of trainers only I would suggest putting them on and running as fast as u can!! he is mentally unstable!! x

 

 

That alone is judging/bashing.

 

As for your statement about he doesn't seem to be doing anything about his illness, you have to understand, part of schizophrenia itself is shutting the part of your brain off that would allow you to realize something is wrong. That's why it is so powerful. He truly believes nothing is wrong, most likely. It is a very powerful illness.

 

And by help him, I mean encourage him to get help.

KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

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Lol Kali the second post in this topic by that person who always puts an x in their post for some reason:

 

 

Do u have a pair of trainers only I would suggest putting them on and running as fast as u can!! he is mentally unstable!! x

 

 

That alone is judging/bashing.

 

As for your statement about he doesn't seem to be doing anything about his illness, you have to understand, part of schizophrenia itself is shutting the part of your brain off that would allow you to realize something is wrong. That's why it is so powerful. He truly believes nothing is wrong, most likely. It is a very powerful illness.

 

And by help him, I mean encourage him to get help.

 

I don't think that's judgmental at all. He IS mentally unstable. The poster didn't say it was his fault, or that he is a bad person..they just said he's unstable and that she should run.

 

I do understand that about schizophrenia. I don't think the girlfriend is qualified to help him in any way, and I honestly believe she could be in danger. I don't think she should be risking herself to try to help someone who is probably not going to listen to her. Let his family take care of him..he's not accusing them of talking to people out the window and it's a lot less likely that he will harm them. I'm worried for her being alone with him.

Strength in Healing Established Member

Strength in Healing

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I don't think that's judgmental at all.

 

 

Say that was your mother and people were telling your father that your mom is mentally unstable and to run as fast as he could... do you think you'd have the same reaction? And if your parents aren't together, substitute that for someone you love dearly.

 

And once again, by help I don't mean she should help him. I mean she should encourage him to GET PROFESSIONAL help. She ISN'T qualified to help him.

 

But alas, to each their own. She clearly isn't as worried as you, what with her still being there and simply stating she feels like she's walking on egg shells.

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KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

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Say that was your mother and people were telling your father that your mom is mentally unstable and to run as fast as he could... do you think you'd have the same reaction? And if your parents aren't together, substitute that for someone you love dearly.

 

And once again, by help I don't mean she should help him. I mean she should encourage him to GET PROFESSIONAL help. She ISN'T qualified to help him.

 

But alas, to each their own. She clearly isn't as worried as you, what with her still being there and simply stating she feels like she's walking on egg shells.

 

You're barking up the wrong tree my friend..my mom WAS mentally unstable before she killed herself..because of mental instability..and she was artificially inseminated, so I have no idea who my father is. I was taken away from her when I was in my late teens but I wish I'd been able to get away sooner because her mental illness caused me immense amounts of pain and anguish. I loved her very much, but it wasn't healthy for me to be around her. Just like it isn't healthy for OP to be around her boyfriend.

 

Of course she should tell him to get help, but it's unlikely he will listen. And after she tells him, she should walk away so he doesn't murder her in her sleep. I don't think the OP understands the enormity of her own situation. I wish she would go read up on schizophrenia.

Edited by KaliLove
Strength in Healing Established Member

Strength in Healing

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You're barking up the wrong tree my friend..my mom WAS mentally unstable before she killed herself..because of mental instability..and she was artificially inseminated, so I have no idea who my father is. I was taken away from her when I was in my late teens but I wish I'd been able to get away sooner because her mental illness caused me immense amounts of pain and anguish. I loved her very much, but it wasn't healthy for me to be around her. Just like it isn't healthy for OP to be around her boyfriend.

 

Oh wow, this is powerful. Sorry to hear that this has occurred. I did indeed bark up the wrong tree with this example, sorry to bring up painful memories. Alas, I'm sure you get the point, though.

 

Of course she should tell him to get help, but it's unlikely he will listen. And after she tells him, she should walk away so he doesn't murder her in her sleep. I don't think the OP understands the enormity of her own situation. I wish she would go read up on schizophrenia.

 

Whilst it's true it's unlikely he will listen, it is also unlikely SHE will listen to you, me, or anyone. That tends to be how it works with people in general. They think their case is special, or that they know something we all don't, etc. it's just love blinding them.

 

If she encourages him to help and he refuses, then I agree she needs to leave.

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KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

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Oh wow, this is powerful. Sorry to hear that this has occurred. I did indeed bark up the wrong tree with this example, sorry to bring up painful memories. Alas, I'm sure you get the point, though.

 

 

 

Whilst it's true it's unlikely he will listen, it is also unlikely SHE will listen to you, me, or anyone. That tends to be how it works with people in general. They think their case is special, or that they know something we all don't, etc. it's just love blinding them.

 

If she encourages him to help and he refuses, then I agree she needs to leave.

 

So basically..we are making the exact same point.

 

I hope you understand my point as well with the example. I didn't bring it up to illicit sympathy (thank you though), I brought it up because I regret that I wasn't removed from the situation sooner. I think I'd be a healthier person if I had been. I was a child and had no control over it, but OP is an adult and can walk away from this extremely unhealthy person if she chooses to, and I hope she does. It doesn't mean I didn't love my mother. I absolutely did. Just as I'm sure OP loves her boyfriend.

 

It would be great if we could save the people we love who are ill..but 99% of the time, we can't.

 

Schizophrenics are dangerous and OP is clearly already a target for her boyfriend. He is already lashing out at her and he's obviously not going to stop anytime soon. Yes, he deserves empathy for his situation, but not by the person who stands to be hurt the most if he doesn't get well. Would you have told that girl trapped in the well in Silence of the Lambs to show sympathy for her murderer because he was mentally ill?

 

I genuinely do fear for OP's physical and emotional safety. That's why I think she needs to read up on Schizophrenia, tell her boyfriend to get help, and then step away unless he does (and even if he does, she should step away until he gets his crazy thoughts under control).

 

This is not a normal situation. If it was a mental illness that wouldn't potentially put her in danger, I would be all for her being more supportive. But you of all people, having a psychology background, know how dangerous a schizophrenic can be, particularly when they begin to focus their obsession on one person in particular.

InnocentMan Established Member

InnocentMan

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lol@ people diagnosing schizophrenia over the internet. He's certainly showing signs of psychosis, but it doesn't always equal schizophrenia. This man needs his gf's help, not her just leaving him. He's unlikely to seek medical help on his own, so the OP either has to do it for him, or inform his nearest family.

KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

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lol@ people diagnosing schizophrenia over the internet. He's certainly showing signs of psychosis, but it doesn't always equal schizophrenia. This man needs his gf's help, not her just leaving him. He's unlikely to seek medical help on his own, so the OP either has to do it for him, or inform his nearest family.

 

So basically..the point of your post was to mock those of us who believe this guy has a serious mental condition, then to try to do the exact same thing you were mocking us for, then to tell her to stay in a potentially dangerous situation and force a guy who may not be willing to listen to get help and to stay with him even if it's to her own detriment.

 

Sigh.

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