Being alone theory

[freebird31]

Something I noticed.

Its kind of along the topic of "coping" since I wouldnt have realized it otherwise.

I noticed that this society is weird lol Its like being alone and independent is discouraged!

 

I mean its healthy to socialize and have friends. But I mean people these days are not comfortable with being ALONE, or even being seen ALONE. For example, I had went to a event for school and we had to do a walk-a-thon. Every one in my group was socializing and what not and I was too for some time. but there was a time when i jsut kind of wanted to walk alone by myself. Dont get me wrong, i love being surrounded by people, but I do like being alone as well. And its almost like thats discouraged. So i was walking by myself, and one of the girls was like "awww why are you alone?!" Like she was almost feeling bad for me because she thought that i was left behind , but i just simply wanted to walk by myself. I mean not for the whole walk, just for those 10 minutes out of the 2 hours, you know. Why is that when people see someone by themselves they autimatically assume theyre lonely or excluded. And its not even that, i have also noticed that when i go to group events like this walk-a-thon, people arent comfortable to be by themselves. Maybe they feel like people will think theyre a loner if they were to walk ahead of the group. Dont get me wrong, i was walking with my group and chit chatting and having fun. But its weird....its like people need to ALWAYS feel included in the group. Idk, maybe i am just weird. I just feel like I dont think having alone time will make me feel any less included. But this society is pretty weird like that. I wonder if in other cultures, being alone is discouraged like that. I mean i guess that would defeat the whole purpose of GROUP events. But who says you have to constantly talk or socialize throughout the whole event. HM idk if im making sense here. lol I guess what I am trying to say is that I am confortable/getting comfortable with being alone. i dont need to constantly rely on socialization to lift me or make me feel included. I feel like a lot of people arent comfortable with being alone.

 

Ill relate this to 'Coping' because a lot of times we feel like we need to depend on others to lift us up. Even when we just get out of a breakup, we feel like friends and people will fill the empty space. What if WE can just fill that up ourselves, alone, independently? Is that possible? If we are constantly looking for support from others doesnt that make us dependent in a way?

Edited April 28, 2014 by freebird31

[tlegend]

Something I noticed.

Its kind of along the topic of "coping" since I wouldnt have realized it otherwise.

I noticed that this society is weird lol Its like being alone and independent is discouraged!

 

I mean its healthy to socialize and have friends. But I mean people these days are not comfortable with being ALONE, or even being seen ALONE. For example, I had went to a event for school and we had to do a walk-a-thon. Every one in my group was socializing and what not and I was too for some time. but there was a time when i jsut kind of wanted to walk alone by myself. Dont get me wrong, i love being surrounded by people, but I do like being alone as well. And its almost like thats discouraged. So i was walking by myself, and one of the girls was like "awww why are you alone?!" Like she was almost feeling bad for me because she thought that i was left behind , but i just simply wanted to walk by myself. I mean not for the whole walk, just for those 10 minutes out of the 2 hours, you know. Why is that when people see someone by themselves they autimatically assume theyre lonely or excluded. And its not even that, i have also noticed that when i go to group events like this walk-a-thon, people arent comfortable to be by themselves. Maybe they feel like people will think theyre a loner if they were to walk ahead of the group. Dont get me wrong, i was walking with my group and chit chatting and having fun. But its weird....its like people need to ALWAYS feel included in the group. Idk, maybe i am just weird. I just feel like I dont think having alone time will make me feel any less included. But this society is pretty weird like that. I wonder if in other cultures, being alone is discouraged like that. I mean i guess that would defeat the whole purpose of GROUP events. But who says you have to constantly talk or socialize throughout the whole event. HM idk if im making sense here. lol I guess what I am trying to say is that I am confortable/getting comfortable with being alone. i dont need to constantly rely on socialization to lift me or make me feel included. I feel like a lot of people arent comfortable with being alone.

 

Ill relate this to 'Coping' because a lot of times we feel like we need to depend on others to lift us up. Even when we just get out of a breakup, we feel like friends and people will fill the empty space. What if WE can just fill that up ourselves, alone, independently? Is that possible? If we are constantly looking for support from others doesnt that make us dependent in a way?

 

When I break up with someone, I often retreat back into myself....because I know who I am. I do not need friends to tell me to get better, because I know I can only rely on myself for my own happiness.

 

I think you definitely touched a very important part of the healing process. Friends and family can help take your mind off things, but it takes something from within to truly be able to move on.

[Eggplant]

I'm very introverted myself. I prefer living alone, working alone, exercising alone. I have no problem going out to restaurants or the movies by myself. I'm actually dragging my feet about dating in part because I don't like the responsibility of checking in and being "accountable" to somebody, and I love having my own room, my own place, so whoever I marry (if I do) better be worth it.