King Bowls Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I'm 20 years old and it's become embarrassing. When an attractive girl my age walks by I am clueless as to what to do. Like Friday night, me, my brother, cousin and some older friends (a couple of guys in their 50s) were at a banquet, and these 2 pretty blondes sat across this round table. I didnt know what to say, and it seemed awkward. Another time was a couple a weeks ago, me, my brother and his girlfriend were eating at a restaraunt and one of the waitresses for another table was yet another beautiful blonde. Again I had no idea what to do and it was an utter embrarassment. When people say "go places, and meet people", what the hell does that mean? If I go somewhere, and see an attractive girl who seems approachable, what the hell am I suppose to say? This is one of my problems. My other is that once I start a conversation, I run out of things to ask quickly. It fuels a fiery hate of mine. What is the best thing I can do?
Author King Bowls Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 I'm 20 years old and have never had a legitimate girlfriend. And no, the girls at my school aren't all that at all
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Can you talk to people you already know? Start small. Learn to say hello to strangers. You are your own worst critic. You don't have to be the most sparkling conversationalist ever. You just have to be friendly & a good listener. Ask Qs. People love to talk about themselves. It's OK to open with cliches like the weather. Talking about a local sports team may work too but not always if the woman isn't into sports. mention something she's doing. If's she is having a coke, mention that you like coke too. Segue into favorite foods. If you are really dumbfounded think about joining a group called ToastMasters to overcome shyness. If you have the money take a Dale Carnegie class. 1
mammasita Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Just start talking to anyone. Don't wait for an attractive girl, because then it will be too late. Practice on the girl at the grocery store, practice on the girl at the gas station.....just strike up a conversation. Get used to talking to strangers. When you see a girl you're attracted to, sure you'll be a bit nervous but it won't be half as bad becuase you'll have some practice under your belt. 2
TalesoftheWireMonkey Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Open ended questions are the real key. Let the other person do most of the talking. You really don't have to say a lot or reveal much of yourself. Just let one question build on the next. Where are you from? Have you lived there all your life? What's the weather like there? and on and on. Occasionally some people just don't want to talk or take an instant dislike to you for some reason inside of themselves. Don't let that phase you and move on. There are a lot of resources out there, The famous book by Dale Carnegie can be found in about any library. It's old but still a basic primer for communicating in a positive way. you might also search for some info online about game if you are looking to seduce women. 1
Author King Bowls Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 All good points here. Ill have to start with the small talk 2
Author King Bowls Posted April 28, 2014 Author Posted April 28, 2014 I just want to have someone in my life like my brothers girlfriend. Someone I can have fun with, and do all that stuff. And I'm tired of being looked at in my family as the one who doesn't know how to talk to girls.
gaius Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 If you're in a group and they're talking you can interject yourself in the conversation based on something they've said. If she likes you she'll tolerate it and engage back. You can make it about anything really. I won a girl over one time pretending to need help picking out a gift after she mentioned she was good at it. 2
Emilia Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I just want to have someone in my life like my brothers girlfriend. Someone I can have fun with, and do all that stuff. And I'm tired of being looked at in my family as the one who doesn't know how to talk to girls. Easier said than done but try not to put pressure on yourself. Start talking to girls you don't fancy. Just practice your social skills on them and how to say things that doesn't freak them out (not mentioning their feet for example). Then as you get more confident and see what those girls respond to, start with those that make you nervous because you fancy them. You will have more skills to fall back on. 2
Blaze997 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I've been stuck in this kind of rut, and it was because I didn't take care of myself. Once I got more sleep, went outside, got some sun, and lifted some weights I was fine, and I could talk to girls without thinking about it. If your body doesn't feel secure neither will your mind. Oh, and don't just pay attention to pretty blondes, that's a death trap for a beginner. 1
hasaquestion Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Its about practice. Rocky doesn't pop out of the womb and beat Drago. He spends most of the movie running through snowy wastes, climbing mountains, lifting bathtubs etc. Then he kicks Drago's ass. If you want to kick your Drago's ass then you need to practice. Talk to everyone. Especially girls you don't find attractive. Figure out what works by practicing. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I just want to have someone in my life like my brothers girlfriend. Someone I can have fun with, and do all that stuff. And I'm tired of being looked at in my family as the one who doesn't know how to talk to girls. How close are you with your brother's GF? Can you talk to her & get her to help you?
Author King Bowls Posted April 29, 2014 Author Posted April 29, 2014 Easier said than done but try not to put pressure on yourself. Start talking to girls you don't fancy. Just practice your social skills on them and how to say things that doesn't freak them out (not mentioning their feet for example). Then as you get more confident and see what those girls respond to, start with those that make you nervous because you fancy them. You will have more skills to fall back on. That was one of the biggest mistakes Ive made in the past. Back when I was in highschool (Im only 2 years removed from highschool) I would tell girls I was talking to on Facebook that they had pretty feet. But I see what you're saying, skills are essential. 1
Author King Bowls Posted April 29, 2014 Author Posted April 29, 2014 I've been stuck in this kind of rut, and it was because I didn't take care of myself. Once I got more sleep, went outside, got some sun, and lifted some weights I was fine, and I could talk to girls without thinking about it. If your body doesn't feel secure neither will your mind. Oh, and don't just pay attention to pretty blondes, that's a death trap for a beginner. Ever since that incident at the mall I posted about back in August, blondes have been my favorite.
Author King Bowls Posted April 29, 2014 Author Posted April 29, 2014 Its about practice. Rocky doesn't pop out of the womb and beat Drago. He spends most of the movie running through snowy wastes, climbing mountains, lifting bathtubs etc. Then he kicks Drago's ass. If you want to kick your Drago's ass then you need to practice. Talk to everyone. Especially girls you don't find attractive. Figure out what works by practicing. I like this ^
Author King Bowls Posted April 29, 2014 Author Posted April 29, 2014 How close are you with your brother's GF? Can you talk to her & get her to help you? Pretty close, she's trying to help me talk to girls. She nearly got up and was going to say to the hot blonde waitress at the restaraunt that "my friend likes your tie" or something like that, to get her to come talk to me. How pathetic (on my part that is) 1
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