iwantmysecondchance Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 Here's my sob story guys! Met him two years ago in a college bar, and I wouldn't necessarily say it was love at first sight, but the chemistry was evident. We started hanging out, hooking up and he told me he did not want a serious gf long distance over summer and wanted to wait until the fall when we would both be back at school to officially date. In June I said I was done because I liked him too much not to be together, and he asked me to be official, saying he was planning on it anyway. We had a really great year or so. One thing we always both said was "when you know you know" and we we're both confident we had found "the one". We had plans of moving in together, marriage, babies.... The works. Then we started fighting more, he stopped trying to make me feel special, is as jealous, insecure, and controlling. We became total potheads, did not leave his apartment for days on end, and stopped going out being social,active people. We lost ourselves to the relationship. One day, 5 months ago, after a brief texting argument like we seemed to be having constantly, he just snaps and tells me it's done (over the phone, on my lunch break). Felt like my whole world was ending. I quit my job, spent two months crying on my parents couch, and ultimately just wanted him back. I knew No contact was the key to winning him back, but I failed hard and since we broke up we have talked every few weeks, always with me contacting him. Sometimes he's nice, sometimes he's just mean. Now here's what's keeping me on this merry go round, he tells me he can't confidently say I'm not the one, that he still loves me, that he never fell out of love with me, and that hew ants space to grow so he never hurts me or someone else again. I tell him I feel like he's keeping me on the back burner, and he tells me that "whether it's me or someone else you end up with, you won't be a plan B". We met up in person for the first time a few weeks ago and it was just awkward, and he told me he really couldn't tell me anything. But then I pushed too much, texted him a lot in the days after, and he started getting angry. I don't mean to text him long paragraphs or start fights but it's the only way I know how to talk to him because we aren't together. Two days ago he snapped, told me odds are we would never get back together and it's a less than 50 chance. Then backtracked and told me when I text him so much it pressures him into putting it into those terms. Asked me to really leave him alone for awhile, and was pretty mean about it too. Especially after telling me that "you of all people don't deserve to ever have someone be as mean as I've been"... Just to do it again. I want him back, i truly think he is the one. He's told me every girl he has met has paled in comparison, but I think it's the single life and going out with friends that's keeping him from me. I need a game plan.... Someone out there help me!
jalfy Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 Sounds like my story. Nothing much you can do except to stop bugging him and give him space. Unless you want to screw it up until he decides to ignore you one day.
Jiivy Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 Your game plan is here on LS in bold letters. No games. Go NC. The guy either has someone else or he's unwilling to let go of whatever single joys he has right now...he has to come back because he wants to, and you have to want him back because of him and NOT because of some idealised view of the relationship. There is nothing you cannot benefit from whilst taking NC, it gives you clarity and with the same stroke lets you see the courage of his convictions.
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