AnneT1985 Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 (edited) Hi y'all! Hope everyone is doing well. Can I get some advice and opinions on this topic please? I have an extended inlaw that I see at family functions who appears to require being the center of attention in a group. She thinks she is absolutely witty and hysterical...but her "comedy" in my opinion is just cruel and uncalled for. She will not self deprecate and will make fun of people's vulnerabilities who aren't around in front of an entire group of people. I noticed some people laugh but I'm wondering if it is more out of politeness or awkwardness. I never laugh at her jokes as I don't find her funny... and one time when she was "joking" how ugly another family member was who wasn't present, I said "wow you must really dislike her". She responded "nope I really like her, I would just hate to LOOK like her" and then started laughing. My response was "if that's how you talk about your loved ones, I'd hate to see what you say about your enemies". I can certainly appreciate humor and am no saint, but I find it vile to be honest, particularly when the party she is making fun of is never present. And it certainly makes me wonder what she says about me when I'm not around. Why do y'all think she is doing this and should I be more direct and say something or just simply ignore her and walk away? I'd love all your thoughts please and thank you xx! Edited April 26, 2014 by AnneT1985
amaysngrace Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 I think you handled her appropriately by challenging her. I'd pity her. People who hide behind laughter and ridiculing others usually do it as a defense mechanism so that people won't look too closely at them. Self-loathing comes to mind. But you did everything right. You called her out. From now on I'd have little time for her if the pattern of behavior continues. 3
Author AnneT1985 Posted April 27, 2014 Author Posted April 27, 2014 This is something she definitely has a pattern of doing at every function I have seen her at
Radu Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 She probably has really low self-esteem and being a jerk is how she handles it, essentially she is a passive-agressive bully, and like all bullies ... a coward if faced on. 1
ThursdayChild Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 (edited) I would not trust a person like that at all. Clearly by not being self depreciating she can't take what she gives out unlike a genuine or skilled comedien, and rest assured if you're not around and she found out something personal about you she would do exactly the same thing to you. Pretty pathetic IMO. Edited April 27, 2014 by ThursdayChild 1
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