Flabbergasted - Left for Rich Guy

[Ileum]

So, where do I begin..

 

Dated a nice girl for just over 3 years. First 2.5 years of the relationship was great (1st year best, 2nd year pretty good). The last 6-7 months weren't good. We stopped doing fun activities, fell into a routine, the relationship was very boring, never went out, etc.

 

About 6 weeks ago, my ex searched for and found a guy that she once knew about 5 years ago who is close to 8 years her senior. They dated for about a month before he dropped her because she was too young. After a week of reconnecting with him, I'm dropped like yesterday's newspaper. I do the whole crying during the breakup, nothing manly. 4 days after the breakup we meet again and basically let our emotions out (more anger, no tears or anything this time) as to why we didn't settle our problems beforehand. We have a nice dinner afterwards, even held hands (not initiated by me) and go our separate ways.

 

A couple of weeks after this I sent an email basically apologize for not being the man i was at the beginning of the relationship and she calls me shortly after apologizing on her end. We agree we cannot be friends, break-up was for the best, no more contact. She told me she wouldn't tell her bf about this call even though I told her she shouldn't keep it from him. No contact has been maintained for 1 week so far with no end in sight. I told her I would not take her back if she wanted back.

 

What I am trying to understand is where her head is at. This guy that she left me for is filthy rich (parents money). When we broke up, she told me he's ugly and fat and smokes, etc. but when they talk blah blah makes her feel good. She's met his parents, his siblings, and goes out every night with him partying until the early morning (we never did that). She spends many days at his mansion as well with his family (all this she told me in our discussions post break-up). They've fought because she talked about me a few times and didn't want to get rid of the items I bought her. a few days after we broke up she told me she wanted to marry him and this is the same thing she's said to others since.

 

Would you say she's just chasing the money? Their relationship is moving crazy fast. We talked about marriage but that was only after the 1.5-2 year mark in our relationship. He's taking her to all these new places, parties, concerts, limo rides, etc. I don't want to believe that she is immature and shallow but that's what it is looking like to me. Her friends were stupefied that she's talking about marriage. It's not really my problem anymore, good luck to them, I'll move on, but what do you guys think? Rebound/GIGS/gold digger?

Edited April 27, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[darkmoon]

gold-diggers! he is rich so he will be unfaithful, other women will give him the eye, spotting fancy limos, srsly, you need to build a new life, or this will keep doing your head in, he has rich women living in his fancy area, competition, do not worry, use your time well instead

Edited April 26, 2014 by darkmoon

[Ileum]

I doubt that to be honest. He's a devout religious fellow. In our convo she even told me she'll have to wait until marriage because he won't touch her right now haha. Kind of an odd thing to be telling me.

[learning_slowly]

Sometimes I'm sure they tell you things that they think will make it easier for you to bear. My ex told me her sex life with her current bf does not satisfy her anywhere near how I did. Yet she chose him. Seems like the truth is not always told to me.

 

However as with my ex, I think money may have been involved, so look at it as lucky you found out this early. Imagine she had decided she wanted the luxuries etc after you had children or got an illness. She didn't truly love you, so find somebody that does.

[stillafool]

It sounds like the money has her sprung, not him. Don't worry there is always a price to pay when one marries for the money. Just keep doing NC and be glad it's over. You don't want a girl whose values are misplaced.

[d0nnivain]

I can't tell you where her head is. Her heart, however, is no longer with you.

 

For your own sanity, stop talking to her.

[Ileum]

Sometimes I'm sure they tell you things that they think will make it easier for you to bear. My ex told me her sex life with her current bf does not satisfy her anywhere near how I did. Yet she chose him. Seems like the truth is not always told to me.

 

However as with my ex, I think money may have been involved, so look at it as lucky you found out this early. Imagine she had decided she wanted the luxuries etc after you had children or got an illness. She didn't truly love you, so find somebody that does.

 

Yes, I definitely am thinking this way now. Lucked out by getting out the relationship now while I'm still young and have plenty of time to have fun and find someone better eventually. Makes you feel that you never really knew the person though haha, didn't realize they could be so materialistic and shallow. Why put him down? Why not tell me about who he is instead of what he is buying/doing for her? Sad really, I kinda feel sorry for the guy because he hasn't realized it.

[No Limit]

Could be that he's the "good one" and she'll cheat on him should they really have a future together. Poor guy.