angelique8 Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 My boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I really loved him and it came as quite a shock. He said because he was overwhelmed with school and doesn't love me anymore. I've been down ever since. We go to the same university so I run into him from time to time. I ran into him in the library and he spoke to me, asking for a hug, telling me he feels terrible, saying sorry, crying, telling me I'm so cute, kissing me on the cheek. He never once said he wants me back so I started to feel like I was being used. I thought maybe he was using me to get attention and I got angry so I told him nicely to stop kissing me. He seemed offended and left. Today (4 days later) I ran into him and started speaking to him. He asked me how an exam went, how I was, etc. so I decided to be honest and tell him I miss him very much. I guess I thought he might miss me too by the way he acted a few days ago but he just said thank you. Then I asked for a hug and he said no because I rejected him and manipulated him (yes somehow he sees me pushing him away as manipulation) the other day and then he was going to set boundaries as well. I told him he was confusing me and everything he was doing is not right because we belong together. He told me he feels nothing at all for me anymore and to give him space. I couldn't believe he said that. I love him so much and miss him so much and he doesn't care. I want to just speak to him so badly. I know his schedule and always know where he is and its just so hard not to try to go and talk to him. I've resisted many times but many other times I have given in and found him to talk. Sometimes he's nice, most of the time he's so cruel. I wish I could get over him but I have finals coming up and I just feel worse and worse everyday. I miss him so much. What should I make of his behavior and what should I do to do deal with this? Is there anything I can possibly say to him to make him stop acting this way?
spiderowl Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 His behaviour must have been confusing. It sounds like he is feeling guilty for breaking up with you and thinks he can repair things this way. If he is still rejecting you though, then please do not pursue anything with him. You deserve much better and I am sure at uni there will lots of lovely guys that would happily take his place if they thought they had a chance. It is hard to extract yourself from a relationship if you are getting mixed signals but the underlying message is still the same and it is going to hurt you if you try to get anything more from this guy. Write him off as not worthy of you. Resolve now that you will expect better from guys in future and will not tolerate him messing with you or touching you again. It sounds like he's playing stupid games, expecting you to want him to touch you but being angry when you (quite naturally) fended him off. He wanted to be the one in control. Th best way to deal with him is to take control back and set your own boundaries and stick to them. No contact is a good way to set boundaries. I know you loved him but really he deserves to lose you.
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