mbee Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Okay, so I've been seeing this guy for the past several months. The first couple of months were long distance and mostly phone and email conversations... but... this past month we were finally together and hung out several times a week. Everything was amazing and honestly was amazing up until 5 hours ago! I feel very blind sided. We went on an amazing date last night, I went over to his place to sleep (we have not had sex yet) and we woke up kissing and cuddling for an hour. Then somehow, he randomly brought up concerns that he wasn't sure about how he felt about us in the long term. He said the last couple of weeks his feelings haven't changed, like they haven't grown. According to HIM, he feels so in sync with me, he's told me things he's never told anyone before, kissing me and holding me feels so comfortable and right, how similar we are, how happy he is when he's with me, how when I'm with him he's so sexually attracted to me BUT he doesn't feel this electric pull when we kiss and it doesn't feel perfect?!?! What?! This was even more confusing because last night he kept going on about how he wants me to meet his family, planning something for us to do together in a couple of weeks and he's already bought tickets for things we are supposed to do next weekend. He then compared how we kissed to his exes, which were more perfect and natural than our kissing. Please note that he takes it very slow with women, so we didn't actually kiss until a week ago! He basically ended things with me, then he told me to stay and talk about it with him. I did and then he realized he was a complete idiot. He made assumptions and incorrectly thought I was in love with him and wanted more. Basically he likes me, but doesn't like me quite that much yet. Which is totally normal for dating, especially this early on. Also, he's been very open with me and was worried about how quickly he's been opening up to me, a woman he barely knows. He's been cheated on in the past, and was freaking out about trusting me. He's also inexperienced with dating. All his girlfriends were long-term friends so things moved very fast with them but the trust was already there. I was a stranger to him, so obviously things move slower in terms of emotions but have been moving a little too fast in terms of openness and trust. Once he realized all this, he felt really stupid about the whole thing (ending things with me based on false assumptions). Due to his inexperience, it was clear he had no idea what to do. I basically left his place and just walked home since we were just sitting in silence and it was clear he was so conflicted. And I feel since he ended it, it's in his court to apologize and ask for me to give it another chance. If he wants to be with me, he should make that clear right? I just need some friendly guidance and cheering up? So bummed out since I really connected with this guy and thought things were going amazing up until that moment.
Grumpybutfun Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 I wouldn't waste time with someone who compared me to their exes and found me lacking. You do nothing because you aren't the one who dug a hole...you deserve better than this guy. Move on, Grumps 3
Noproblem Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Next........ Being single is awesome, embrace it
Cpt Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 He is inexperienced. Don't always listen to LS posters who are quick to throw stones. I agree that he should approach you now if he wants to give things another go, but definitely don't discount this guy. If you felt a connection, and you say he is inexperienced, then give him a chance to at least make things right. If he doesn't, then move on. Oh and inform him that it is not right to compare a current partner with ex's... in front of them... to them... in their face. Tell him you will drop him like he's hot if does that again. You may have to lead the way in some areas, but hey if you dig the guy, then it shouldn't be a deal breaker for you. Good luck! 1
Author mbee Posted April 25, 2014 Author Posted April 25, 2014 He is inexperienced. Don't always listen to LS posters who are quick to throw stones. I agree that he should approach you now if he wants to give things another go, but definitely don't discount this guy. If you felt a connection, and you say he is inexperienced, then give him a chance to at least make things right. If he doesn't, then move on. Oh and inform him that it is not right to compare a current partner with ex's... in front of them... to them... in their face. Tell him you will drop him like he's hot if does that again. You may have to lead the way in some areas, but hey if you dig the guy, then it shouldn't be a deal breaker for you. Good luck! Thanks CPT, this was helpful. Yes, I'm the third girl he was ever pursuing a relationship and the only chick he ever dated. The inexperience was definitely obvious with how slow it took him to kiss me, and since then he's been over thinking it to an extent that I can't understand. I'm just trying to enjoy things and go with the flow, and he was just analyzing things like crazy. This isn't a deal breaker if he knows to apologize and to ask me to try again, but when I left his place, it was clear he was waiting for me to take the lead... but with the things he said, it just didn't feel right and I'm not going to push a guy into giving it another shot when he's the one (inexperienced or not) who broke it off in the first place. It does really, really suck but hopefully he'll contact me in some way and I'll hear from him.
Strength in Healing Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 I hope this doesn't come across as offensive, but psychologically I am getting a HUGE inclination that he is gay. I'm not bashing him or anyone, just saying, I feel he may very well likely be gay.
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