gemstone1 Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months now, and we both are very happy with each other. This is a very petty issue, but I need some advice. I have finally completed my undergraduate degree, and so my boyfriend wanted to get me something. He said he really liked my university's diploma frames, and so he wanted to get me one - but he couldn't decide which one to get, so it was better if I chose one myself. So I ended up telling him which one I liked, and he brought it for me. When he was buying it (I was with him) it turned out to be $290 - now, in my opinion that is a heck lot for a diploma frame. I genuinely did NOT see the price when I told him I liked that one, and he quickly bought it without letting me even look at the price. After he bought it, I kept telling him how it was so expensive, and although I loved it - I felt bad for letting him buy me something so expensive. He said it didn't matter, and as long as I was happy with it, he was happy too. I know he really wanted to get me this, but I understand how difficult it is to earn money. He's not super rich or anything, he earns an average amount. I want to tell him to return it and I'll choose a cheaper one, but I feel like that will upset him. I don't know how to go about this...Any insight would help. Thank you!
bubbaganoosh Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 I think that it's a nice gesture on your part that you would want to return it but if he couldn't afford it, my guess is he would have made sure in someway however subtle that you saw the price. This was something that he wanted to do for you and it's because he really cares for you. I'm a guy and I say accept it and I hope you guys continue on. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Accept his generous gift graciously. It fulfills a man to give his woman nice things that make her smile. It took me too long to learn this simple truth. 5
Yookie Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Is it made out of gold or some other precious metal? He would not have bought it if he could not afford it. He thinks you are worth it so why don't you?
Leigh 87 Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 ha hahahah hahah. He spent 290 and you want him to return it? Heck. MY good friend got herself a guy who earns 80K and he spends THOUSANDS On her and takes her on trips. Hell no! Enjoy him spoiling you. Just ensure he doesn't have to go without food to accommodate gifts lolz, if he aint earning much...
contact1 Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 ha hahahah hahah. He spent 290 and you want him to return it? Heck. MY good friend got herself a guy who earns 80K and he spends THOUSANDS On her and takes her on trips. Hell no! Enjoy him spoiling you. Just ensure he doesn't have to go without food to accommodate gifts lolz, if he aint earning much... Well its good to know there are still some women out in the world that are aware of when a gift is too much and have the common sense to not wanting their man blowing all their money Despite the horrible comparison as to why you shouldn't return it, as mentioned above, I think you should keep the frame. It could give the wrong message or mixed feelings in trying to return the frame. Also, you are getting your degree, that's a once in a lifetime event, so I would say it does merit something really special Also yes to the above question, what the heck is the frame made of to cost 290??? Does it make a 3D projection of your degree? lol 3
iiiii Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 $290 can be quite a lot of money for some people, Leigh. I agree with the other posters - I wouldn't ask him to return it, just appreciate the generous gesture, and maybe remember to check the price tag before asking for something next time. 2
sumathi Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 You are indeed lucky to have a boyfriend who really loves you and you too are extremely good to feel for him that he had spent too much when he could not afford it. Accept it and do not make a fuss of it as it would bruise his ego. Be careful the next time. Good luck. 1
Snakechammah Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 OP (Love the name gemstone, by the way), It's really sweet that you aren't materialistic and shows a lot of integrity by your concern for his financial situation. Kudos to you. Your boyfriend is certainly a lucky man, and he knows it, the reason he wanted to do something nice for you. I hope your relationship grows from strength to strength. Do keep the frame, and maybe once you can earn as much, do something just as nice for him? Like a special birthday dinner, anniversary treat, or even a simple surprise? I'm sure he will appreciate it just as much! All the best!
J21 Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 ha hahahah hahah. He spent 290 and you want him to return it? Heck. MY good friend got herself a guy who earns 80K and he spends THOUSANDS On her and takes her on trips. Hell no! Enjoy him spoiling you. Just ensure he doesn't have to go without food to accommodate gifts lolz, if he aint earning much... Wow what a great reason she shouldn't ask him to return the gift. And you were laughing about it? I don't understand what was so funny. I guess you were laughing that 290 isn't that much money? OP, don't return the gift. Just let him know you are grateful, I think the more you try to return it, the more you will come off as telling him indirectly: "Oh you can't afford it". That will definitely sting his ego. Even if you somehow managed to convince him, he will feel sh*tty about it, so there's no point in trying to convince him otherwise. 3
Yur Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 (edited) Now it's bought, I think you shouldn't say you felt it was too much, just be happy for it. You risk making him feel stupid by saying you think it was too much (obviously not your intention) Edited April 25, 2014 by Yur
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Keep it hun and just do something nice for him to say thank you x I used to do this to my ex all the time as I was worried about money and it really knocks them... in the end he never knew how I would react if he brought anything and thats not a nice place to be x
jonsnuh Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 View from a guy here, If a lady gave me back a pricey present I gave her, I might wonder why even if you provided an absolutely legitimate answer. I remember a present I gave one of my ex that I had saved up a nickel and dime for. All I wanted more was for her to accept it and show some (perhaps more) appreciation. Of course, if this was on a frequent and consistent basis, I would start questioning his motives haha...
Zahara Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 I felt bad for letting him buy me something so expensive. He said it didn't matter, and as long as I was happy with it, he was happy too. I know he really wanted to get me this You stated that you felt bad about how expensive it was and he said it didn't matter. He wants you to have it. He's happy to give it to you. Telling him to return it would most likely offend him. Don't press the issue anymore. Let it go.
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 ha hahahah hahah. He spent 290 and you want him to return it? Heck. MY good friend got herself a guy who earns 80K and he spends THOUSANDS On her and takes her on trips. Hell no! Enjoy him spoiling you. Just ensure he doesn't have to go without food to accommodate gifts lolz, if he aint earning much... In my opinion 80K is not much, certainly not rich by any means. OP just accept it and give him an extra nice blow job or something
d0nnivain Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Diploma frames are custom made. He can't return it. FWIW mine were way more than $290 25 years ago so I don't think its all that expensive. It is a generous gift so she should do something wonderful for him like cook him an awesome dinner & if they are already intimate make sure dessert blows his mind if you get my drift. 3
soccerrprp Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 (edited) My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months now, and we both are very happy with each other. This is a very petty issue, but I need some advice. I have finally completed my undergraduate degree, and so my boyfriend wanted to get me something. He said he really liked my university's diploma frames, and so he wanted to get me one - but he couldn't decide which one to get, so it was better if I chose one myself. So I ended up telling him which one I liked, and he brought it for me. When he was buying it (I was with him) it turned out to be $290 - now, in my opinion that is a heck lot for a diploma frame. I genuinely did NOT see the price when I told him I liked that one, and he quickly bought it without letting me even look at the price. After he bought it, I kept telling him how it was so expensive, and although I loved it - I felt bad for letting him buy me something so expensive. He said it didn't matter, and as long as I was happy with it, he was happy too. I know he really wanted to get me this, but I understand how difficult it is to earn money. He's not super rich or anything, he earns an average amount. I want to tell him to return it and I'll choose a cheaper one, but I feel like that will upset him. I don't know how to go about this...Any insight would help. Thank you! Leave it. He's okay with the purchase and it makes him feel good. Let it go. Just be certain to check prices before you ask for something. Just wanted to add that paying 200+ dollars for a diploma frame IS expensive and to me, absurd. You can find such much cheaper! Edited April 25, 2014 by soccerrprp
Shepp Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 The advice you've got is bang on - he's bought it now so there's no going back, just appreciate it! I get how you feel he spent a real lot! I know there's people like Leigh's friend and whatever who spend thousands but to most folk just shy of 300 quid is a lot of money! But honestly the best thing to do now is be happy, believe me! I've been in your boyfrineds shoes!! My gf collects like secondhand books, she loves them, particularly inscribed ones or ones with writing in the margins which I guess she appreciates as she writes all over books herself! Anyway we were friends for a long time before we started dating and she used to tell me about this like gorgeous ancient bookcase her mum used to have that stored like so many books, normally in reference to me knocking over a stack of books in her room, lol! A while after her mum died her dad cleared the house and sold the bookcase, and she always said she was gutted about that! So one day I'm in town and there's this antique store and outside it is this big oak calved bookcase like exactly what she used to describe to me - it was battered as hell but it was still standing, so I ask the guy how much and he said he'll give it me cheap cause they can't shift it cause it had obviously originally been in a kids room cause each shelf someone had calved a name into (it's funny actually cause there dead old names, i think its Arthur, Percy & Dewey ) anyway I'm going off the point, his "cheap" £70 was considerably "expensive" too 16 or 17year old shepp (cost is always relative), plus I had to get a mate to help me carry it home on the train and I had to fix it up a little before I took it too her. Objectively it probably was way too much, BUT I was a little gutted when her initial reaction of seeing it then turned into her saying just that! Sometimes folk just want to do a nice thing and you should let them!! I didn't expect anything off her, I just thought it would make her happy and it actually left me feeling a bit of an idiot!! THAT SAID when I told her there was no way in hell I was lugging it all the was back to the shop she did tell me it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her, which was all id wanted her to say in the first place!! We could of skipped the whole 'you shoudl of done that' rigmarole! And now, boy does she love that bookcase!! She still refers to it as the best present shes ever got, its pride of place in our house and she's forever polishing it and what have you - that's a good feeling, makes me happy!! So long story short having been there myself. He's not going to take it back - that's not going to happen. Keep saying its too much and what have you, though I get why your doing it to say you don't expect him to spend that much, actually doesn't make anyone happy!! He's spent the money now so just appreciate it!! If he can see it makes you happy - he won't regret a penny of it!
Jethro Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 In my opinion 80K is not much, certainly not rich by any means. OP just accept it and give him an extra nice blow job or something Yeah, exactly. I make more than that and there is no way anyone is going to call me rich! Anyway, if the guy bought it, he is happy to have bought it. I love buying gifts for women personally. A backrub followed by a super blow job is a great idea!
TheGuard13 Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 You want to return it to him??? I have a better idea. Take the frame, melt it down to liquid metal. Take the liquid metal and forge a dagger out of it. Take the dagger and stab him in the heart with it. It will have the same effect. What he said. If it's really something he couldn't afford, then honor your man's sacrifice. He did something nice for you. $290 is a lot of money for some people. It's not THAT much money, though. Accept it graciously. 1
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