Threesome Relationship?

[LeFloof]

Attractiveness*

 

lol thats actually how I read it xD

[LeFloof]

Really? So a stable, clear-thinking girl is going to get excited about the idea of entering a relationship with not one, but TWO people she hasn't yet met in person who live long-distance from her? Who she would have to uproot her entire life to be with?

 

That sounds so painfully naive to me. I mean, just think of how many simple online DATES don't work out. It sounds like there's just way too much pressure/expectation here. So many hypotheticals.

 

This has nothing to do with polyamory, which by the way I do support for those who choose it.

 

Like I said we wouldnt date right away! And she wants to move out here either way. She hates were is is right now and is working on getting her cosmetology license (or whatever its called) so she can start a new life.

 

We wont be pushing her into anything it will all be here idea but were going to be here for her either way.

[LeFloof]

Honestly I would enter into a relationship that the two people were very loving and stable people. I would feel safe and over flooded with love. And DOUBLE the attention! lol

[MissBee]

I think you'd find more productive answers by seeking out forums with people who are currently engaged in or have participated in a polyamorous/open relationship/polygamous lifestyle.That's what I would do anyway. LS is great and all but for some very specific lifestyle topics it seems like finding a forum geared towards that will provide you with more people who have done it/been in the situation/currently are in it who will have tons more advice and experience to share. Also "threesome relationship" makes it sound like sex, I think that's where a lifestyle forum dedicated to poly relationships might help, as even the way you're describing it doesn't seem to be how it actually is.

 

A friend of mind was in a relationship with a married couple. She was both of their girlfriends. It worked for her and she often speaks of it fondly, I haven't heard her mention any drama. They parted ways for regular life reasons and not anything having to do with it being polyamorous and she has expressed that ideally she would like a situation like that again. I do think these types of multiple coupling scenarios have a higher propensity for drama and should only be embarked upon by people with a certain level of maturity for it to work out in terms of transparency, open communication, time management, resource management etc. I think if people are emotionally immature or just think of it as fun and games but don't approach it thinking about the logistics as well as respecting themselves, their partner and the new person, then it will probably not work. So for me, I'd decide what is most worth it for you. Is the benefit of potentially having this work greater than the risk of it not?

 

As a side example, I have no interest in this kind of relationship you're discussing BUT I am not totally opposed to a threesome. However, in reality, I realize that any sexual benefit I would get from a threesome would be short-lived and last that hour or few while the repercussions (for me), possible jealousy, insecurity after, etc would not be worth it. So I wouldn't bother with a threesome personally as the benefits of it if it goes smoothly don't outweigh the risk if it goes badly. So weigh it for yourself.

 

However, I would suggest going to a forum where people are engaged in this lifestyle as there will be tons more pointed advice from people who can talk from experience and give you lots more to think about as you go forward.

[Candy_Pants]

Really? So a stable, clear-thinking girl is going to get excited about the idea of entering a relationship with not one, but TWO people she hasn't yet met in person who live long-distance from her? Who she would have to uproot her entire life to be with?

 

That sounds so painfully naive to me. I mean, just think of how many simple online DATES don't work out. It sounds like there's just way too much pressure/expectation here. So many hypotheticals.

 

This has nothing to do with polyamory, which by the way I do support for those who choose it.

I didn't realize you were specifically talking about one person.

 

But still, we have no idea why it interests her. Personally I couldn't play second fiddle, I'd have to be the head bitch !!!

[LeFloof]

I think you'd find more productive answers by seeking out forums with people who are currently engaged in or have participated in a polyamorous/open relationship/polygamous lifestyle.That's what I would do anyway. LS is great and all but for some very specific lifestyle topics it seems like finding a forum geared towards that will provide you with more people who have done it/been in the situation/currently are in it who will have tons more advice and experience to share. Also "threesome relationship" makes it sound like sex, I think that's where a lifestyle forum dedicated to poly relationships might help, as even the way you're describing it doesn't seem to be how it actually is.

 

A friend of mind was in a relationship with a married couple. She was both of their girlfriends. It worked for her and she often speaks of it fondly, I haven't heard her mention any drama. They parted ways for regular life reasons and not anything having to do with it being polyamorous and she has expressed that ideally she would like a situation like that again. I do think these types of multiple coupling scenarios have a higher propensity for drama and should only be embarked upon by people with a certain level of maturity for it to work out in terms of transparency, open communication, time management, resource management etc. I think if people are emotionally immature or just think of it as fun and games but don't approach it thinking about the logistics as well as respecting themselves, their partner and the new person, then it will probably not work. So for me, I'd decide what is most worth it for you. Is the benefit of potentially having this work greater than the risk of it not?

 

As a side example, I have no interest in this kind of relationship you're discussing BUT I am not totally opposed to a threesome. However, in reality, I realize that any sexual benefit I would get from a threesome would be short-lived and last that hour or few while the repercussions (for me), possible jealousy, insecurity after, etc would not be worth it. So I wouldn't bother with a threesome personally as the benefits of it if it goes smoothly don't outweigh the risk if it goes badly. So weigh it for yourself.

 

However, I would suggest going to a forum where people are engaged in this lifestyle as there will be tons more pointed advice from people who can talk from experience and give you lots more to think about as you go forward.

 

Honestly this is the first time Ive ever used a form for something other then my art so...do you have any good suggestions of some for me?

I wasnt sure what to call it...I know it exists but I just wasnt sure.

 

Im glad to hear you know of someone who thinks fondly of it. Gives me some hope haha.

[LeFloof]

I didn't realize you were specifically talking about one person.

 

But still, we have no idea why it interests her. Personally I couldn't play second fiddle, I'd have to be the head bitch !!!

 

I wouldnt feel second. There would be no places we would all be equal!

[MissBee]

Honestly this is the first time Ive ever used a form for something other then my art so...do you have any good suggestions of some for me?

I wasnt sure what to call it...I know it exists but I just wasnt sure.

 

Im glad to hear you know of someone who thinks fondly of it. Gives me some hope haha.

 

I'm not engaged in that lifestyle so I don't know any forums for it, but I assume you Googled and found LS so just Google around for poly forums or something similar and I'm sure you'll find something.

[LeFloof]

I'm not engaged in that lifestyle so I don't know any forums for it, but I assume you Googled and found LS so just Google around for poly forums or something similar and I'm sure you'll find something.

 

I found Triad? But I figured most people wouldnt know what that was...lol

so I was like...three people...in a relationship..would be Threesome relationship? Lol so I went with that ahaha

[John Bigboote]

Here are some good places to go for poly advice:

 

Polyamory.com Forum

/r/Polyamory

Polyamory Weekly

 

My personal take on what you've written here is that you're engaging in a lot of fantasy, which isn't bad, but try to remember that she's a real person with real needs of her own. Saying "we'll all be equal!!" doesn't make it necessarily so, sets the stage for gauging love according to quantity, and sets expectations before you've even met her.

 

If you really need the lingo, you are seeking a unicorn for a triad. Triads are actually varsity level because of the couples-priviledge that is frequently involved; you've already seen people's reaction here to the idea of playing "second fiddle" to an established couple, even if that's not what you have in mind as the endgame. But the reality is that you ARE an established couple and many couples don't realize that to get to that egalitarian triad state, they must put their established couplehood at risk. Otherwise the third will always be secondary. That is a difficult maneuver to pull off; thus quads are known in the poly community to be more stable.

 

So enjoy your fantasy, get to know this girl, and let whatever grows organically grow organically and don't force things into an established model that you two have already decided on without her. Not if you want her to be a full member of your relationship, for then she should have a vote in its structure as well.

[LeFloof]

Here are some good places to go for poly advice:

 

Polyamory.com Forum

/r/Polyamory

Polyamory Weekly

 

My personal take on what you've written here is that you're engaging in a lot of fantasy, which isn't bad, but try to remember that she's a real person with real needs of her own. Saying "we'll all be equal!!" doesn't make it necessarily so, sets the stage for gauging love according to quantity, and sets expectations before you've even met her.

 

If you really need the lingo, you are seeking a unicorn for a triad. Triads are actually varsity level because of the couples-priviledge that is frequently involved; you've already seen people's reaction here to the idea of playing "second fiddle" to an established couple, even if that's not what you have in mind as the endgame. But the reality is that you ARE an established couple and many couples don't realize that to get to that egalitarian triad state, they must put their established couplehood at risk. Otherwise the third will always be secondary. That is a difficult maneuver to pull off; thus quads are known in the poly community to be more stable.

 

So enjoy your fantasy, get to know this girl, and let whatever grows organically grow organically and don't force things into an established model that you two have already decided on without her. Not if you want her to be a full member of your relationship, for then she should have a vote in its structure as well.

 

Well quite possible Ive always had my head in the clouds. But I tend to like to make fantasies reality no matter how impossible they are! Like I said were not gonna force it well take it slow and see what happens. The first time we met weve already discussed taking things slow. So more then likely we wont even have sex right off the bat because shes actually someone I care about not someone I just want to have a sexual experience with.

And If it does come down to us all being together Im gonna assume communication is very important and I plan to make sure were all comunicating well...some how lol all three of us are very laid back and not easily offended so I think that being blunt with each other in the long run is the best way to go?

And thank you for the links and your input is very helpful!

[Candy_Pants]

I wouldnt feel second. There would be no places we would all be equal!

 

That was a joke (sort of). I'm dominant with other women, but I'll submit to my man (who submits to only me). If we had a girlfriend, or boyfriend, they would be submissive to US, but still equal.