rs2000 Posted April 19, 2014 Posted April 19, 2014 Hi all I'm new here and would like some opinions on my situation, thanks in advance. I have met this girl through work, and at a work function flirted with her and we hit it off, after a couple of months of text flirting and talking at work, she said she had fallen for me, and I felt the same way, then she said she was engaged. Also she is 15 years my junior (I'm 41, but do look much younger) we have been out for coffee several times and I think about her as soon as I wake up until I go to sleep. The guy she is engaged to is a bit of an idiot and introduced her to recreational drugs which she takes quite a lot. I have tried to walk away but I am just drawn to her, she makes me laugh, and she has lots of qualities I really like in a girl,she also seems to have had a tough upbringing. I have been on my own now for a few years concentrating on my children's happiness. So do I pursue this? I don't see how I could have her around my children with the drugs thing. My friends are divided, some say I deserve a bit of happiness, some say stay away, she is engaged after all , then there is the age gap. She seems to be waiting for me to decide what I want to do, the age thing doesn't seem to worry her. Part of me fancies the pants off her, part of me wants to get her away from the drugs/fiancé. All of this seems to have taken over my thoughts and I can't think of anything else.If I'm honest I really want to be with her. Thanks if you took the time to read this.
BC1980 Posted April 20, 2014 Posted April 20, 2014 When someone is engaged, married, dating someone else, that means you don't pursue. It's just a mess waiting to happen. 1
GemmaUK Posted April 20, 2014 Posted April 20, 2014 Your instincts should be telling you: You work together. 15 year age gap. She is engaged. She is clearly OK with cheating on a partner emotionally or otherwise. She does drugs. She had a tough upbringing and possibly is looking to be looked after (?)...just a guess..I have no idea so could be way off -but you being older makes me wonder if this may be the case. If you are lonely wait to meet someone who hasn't got all of this going on. A bit more lonely is a lot less heartache than this could be. I would run from all that. 3
MidwestUSA Posted April 20, 2014 Posted April 20, 2014 I'm not sure what the hell she's thinking, waiting for YOU to decide? So then what? What are the plans for her fiancé? You fancy the pants off her. Literally? Could be a good way to earn an ass beating. No good can come of this. Get the idea out of your head. 1
HappyLove Posted April 20, 2014 Posted April 20, 2014 More proof men love crazy! She cheats on her fiancé. Is a drug addict. And you need to know whether to pursue? What would you tell your children if they met someone like this? Are you really that naive thinking that you are going to take her away from the drugs? Do you really think someone can MAKE an adult just start taking drugs? I can't believe this is a real question. I'm off to say a prayer for your kids. 2
Author rs2000 Posted April 20, 2014 Author Posted April 20, 2014 Well thanks for the response, reading it makes it easy to see its not a good situation, it didn't seem that clear cut in my head. .
J21 Posted April 20, 2014 Posted April 20, 2014 She is engaged, does drugs, 15 years your junior, and you guys work together. At 41 years old, I have no idea what part of your brain still rationalizes this is the road to happiness.
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