Keeping abreast of a coworker

[KaliLove]

And, I'm trying to work up to that. I think posting it here and seeing it in print is part of my process to get over it. As I said and is discussed below it's very pleasurable both physically and psychologically. It's ego-stroking to be chosen the object of her attentions if she's doing it on purpose.

 

What do you mean you are working up to it?

[TalesoftheWireMonkey]

It's a little bit of both. I knew I miss the window of opportunity but at the same time, I knew that had we got together it will create drama at work. That's the main reason why I took a while to decide to ask her out because I was sitting on the fence thinking if it's worth risking. So a part of me wants to date her and a part of me don't. This is the first time that has ever happen to me where I'm unsure. Now that it looks like we hit a road block, I kinda want to date her more. lol

 

And about the cologne, no I don't wear anything. I just take normal showers. Sometimes girls say I smell good and which I find odd since I don't wear anything. Perhaps, I have strong pheromones. lol

 

Honestly what I think it is the way I carry myself. Sometimes girls tell me that I look like a bad boy that gets lots of ladies. Of course that's so far from the truth. I have been single for like forever. I do have an aura of confidence because I'm not shy and I can converse with just about anyone.

I was involved at work before it was actually nice until it ended then the whole office was uncomfortable. They all sort of had to pick sides between us. You made the wise choice if not the heartfelt one.

It makes sense she's more desirable now that you can't have her.

 

They say confidence is a major attractor for females. So, you must be proof of it!

Good going for you saving all that money on smelly products!

[TalesoftheWireMonkey]

I have no idea why she does it.

 

None of us do. None of us know if it is intentional or accidental.

 

And a man's crotch is far different than a woman's boob ... you know that right? One normally sticks OUT and the other doesn't unless aroused. A woman's crotch doesn't intentionally stick out either.... but both sex's butt may stick out.

 

If you are too uncomfortable to move away from her when it happens, how are you going to bring it up in conversation?? You said you both are flirty.

You are determined to make no speculation of her behavior aren't you?

No, I think in the context of accidental contact the crotch and breast area are both sexual contact zones as opposed to say elbows touching.

Just because one juts out an the other does not doesn't mean their isn't accidental contact.

I have had many occasions at work where a female colleague reached to grab a folder, pen etc from my lap when I was in a sitting position. I usually make an effort to scoot back and hand it to them with my hand instead.

To me that's an off limits area just like I wouldn't pick a bit of lint of the tip of someones boob.

I believe I said I was flirty, I think I said we are close. Bring it up in conversation would be something along the lines of asking her to step back a little.

Edited April 22, 2014 by TalesoftheWireMonkey

[TalesoftheWireMonkey]

What do you mean you are working up to it?

I believe I discussed that the first time that I need to start stepping back when she does it but right now it feels too nice, I am human after all.

[ja123]

This is a hot story, OP!

 

 

I think she is flirting with you, especially as she already mentioned someone else was crowding her personal space.

 

 

I also think that she doesn't want the culpability of initiating something, like you explained earlier.

 

 

If you really don't want to risk an affair with a married woman (and one that you work with, no less!), then you'll have to find proactive ways to detach yourself emotionally as well as physically. Yes, you do need to step away when she presses her boobs against you.

 

 

Remind yourself that if you remain 'attached' to her, then you do not have the 'space' to meet a girlfriend.

 

 

Is that what you want?

 

 

You'll need to ask yourself why you'd remain attached to her: unavailable emotionally, lack of other opportunity, laziness, fear, etc. etc. Get to the source, and weed it out.

 

 

Good luck!

[TalesoftheWireMonkey]

This is a hot story, OP!

 

 

I think she is flirting with you, especially as she already mentioned someone else was crowding her personal space.

 

 

I also think that she doesn't want the culpability of initiating something, like you explained earlier.

 

 

If you really don't want to risk an affair with a married woman (and one that you work with, no less!), then you'll have to find proactive ways to detach yourself emotionally as well as physically. Yes, you do need to step away when she presses her boobs against you.

 

 

Remind yourself that if you remain 'attached' to her, then you do not have the 'space' to meet a girlfriend.

 

 

Is that what you want?

 

 

You'll need to ask yourself why you'd remain attached to her: unavailable emotionally, lack of other opportunity, laziness, fear, etc. etc. Get to the source, and weed it out.

 

 

Good luck!

This is a hot story, OP! - I'm glad you are enjoying it.

Why I remain attached-I think many of us know the quickest way to end a crush is to get involved with someone else. To have a more tactile and reciprocal relationship.

My issue is that I have sworn off dating and relationships. I don't want someone else and on an intellectual level I don't want her either.

However as stoic and stalwart as I can be it's hard to ignore someone I'm forced to see every day, who's mere presence makes my drab day palatable.

 

I'm not starry-eyed and have her on a pedestal. Her thinking is convoluted. She's quickly putting on middle-aged spread. Her child is into the most difficult teen age years. Her finances are a mess. I'm a confirmed bachelor, I'm sure even if we could have a relationship it wouldn't go well in the long run.

 

WHY, you ask then am I so smitten...Alas, that's the great riddle of the ages, why does one become attracted to one person over another? Is it a simple matter of her possessing a set of physical traits that set off triggers in my memory, a pheromone release, just some chemicals squirting in my brain?

Who knows, I just know all is right with the world when she's near me and the sound of her laugh is like a thousand tiny bells ringing in harmony. :-/

 

(this could be fodder for another thread) I don't want to date someone else just for the sole purpose of getting over this unattainable one. That's not really fair to myself or to my potential date.

 

then you'll have to find proactive ways to detach yourself emotionally as well as physically.

I've fought this for months, trying to convince myself it was just a passing fancy or lustful moments of weakness. I've tried to curtail the conversations we have, minding my own business and not speaking to her unless she begins a conversation. And yes, standing back enough to be out of her obvious reach.

But you know if you are trying to diet, is there that much difference between holding a cupcake in your hand or having it on the table in front of you?