Is this Overreacting

[Chase12]

Hey all!

 

So I've been dating this girl for 3 months or so.. She's 5 years older than me but we're both late 20s/early 30s. Been great, she's a lot of fun and we both feel like we've been dating for a long time. The other week she got a chance to get a spot on a trip to a Caribbean island that someone canceled on, so she just ha to buy a plane ticket. I asked her who all it was but she was vague and said "Chicago friends" (she used to live there).

 

Yesterday we were at a game and I noticed she was texting her ex (2 years ago) quite a bit. I had been able to tell she was acting differently, so later in the night I checked her phone. I had never done that before but I had to know. Turns out the trip is with him and his friends. He also had just recently started texting how he loved her and how all the sexual things he wanted to do to her. She told him not to talk to her but after he invited her she said yes. He also asked who she was at the game with but she didn't mention dating me at all. I confronted her and she doesn't think it's a big deal even though she lied (once in being vague and a second time when I confronted her).

 

I'm thinking I should either never talk to her again, or just tell her not to take the trip and lose the money for the ticket. Or am I overreacting?

[mammasita]

You've already invaded her privacy - trust is broken. No matter what happens from here on out you won't trust her.

 

You knew something was up, instead of being able to talk about it, she was being shady and you had to snoop. Not great start to a relationship......especially only 3 months in.

 

......I say cut your losses

[Gaeta]

I am not sure why you confronted her after what you've seen in her phone. I would have walked away and never speak to her again. Her explanations, and her minimizing the situation, are an insult to your intelligence.

[ExpatInItaly]

She still has the hots for her ex. Accepted a trip invite, neglected to tell you it's with her ex, neglected to mention to her ex that she's dating someone else? No, you're not over-reacting. You'd be very foolish if you continued dating her, though.

[Chase12]

Thanks that's what I thought. I'm usually the most trusting person. But my best skill is being able to read people. To be honest I knew before even checking that was what was happening. I definitely agree that even if she eats the ticket the trust won't be there nearly as strong again. Cutting my losses. Just shocked how she can defend it haha.

[Gaeta]

I am sorry, it sucks investing in someone for 3 months then they pull something like this. There were probably little red flags here and there though, sometimes we only see them once it's over.