Author Conners Posted April 18, 2014 Author Posted April 18, 2014 How is he as a partner otherwise? Despite the phone thing, is he otherwise attentive? affectionate? present? I think if he was otherwise a good partner it would be more tolerable. It sounds like from the context of your message that he doesn't check his phone very often, so I would not say this is quite the same thing as ignoring you. I don't understand why you were mirroring his behavior, unless it was not on purpose. He is a good partner. He is affectionate, spends his little spare money on me (he is learning a trade, very poor pay) and spends plenty of time with me. Yes it is the fact he doesn't check his phone. He never ignores me and will respond EVENTUALLY.
GemmaUK Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 Ya know...I would be much more concerned over that he has one rule for him and another for you. It's OK for him not to reply for whatever reason but he blows up your phone if you don't reply. That would make me be alert in looking for any other signs of his rules being different to those he considers appropriate for you. I don't think you should shrug it off. I'd say something for sure. Shrugging things off makes them appear acceptable to the person doing or not doing something so small as this.
Author Conners Posted April 18, 2014 Author Posted April 18, 2014 Ya know...I would be much more concerned over that he has one rule for him and another for you. It's OK for him not to reply for whatever reason but he blows up your phone if you don't reply. That would make me be alert in looking for any other signs of his rules being different to those he considers appropriate for you. I don't think you should shrug it off. I'd say something for sure. Shrugging things off makes them appear acceptable to the person doing or not doing something so small as this. Hmm. He has a lot of clothes here at the moment, lots of work clothes too. Should I drop them off to him tomorrow if no response by then? I feel like telling him not to bother staying with me since he couldn't get back to me within 24 hours. Bad idea?
GemmaUK Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 Hmm. He has a lot of clothes here at the moment, lots of work clothes too. Should I drop them off to him tomorrow if no response by then? I feel like telling him not to bother staying with me since he couldn't get back to me within 24 hours. Bad idea? Depends whether you want to break up with him. I wouldn't do something like that to try to get a reaction. I would only do it if I wanted out and if I did do that then it would be the end of it for me.
SoleMate Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 How about asking for what you need and listening to the response? Results are not guaranteed, but still, you'll feel better if you approach this like an adult instead of "giving him a taste of his own medicine" etc. OTOH, if he is so illogical and unreasonable as to object to you calling others for rides when he is unreachable, well.......outlook for a great resolution is not there. You should never have to hunt your SO down like an animal to be able to talk to him. You say his mom and sisters always know where he is....how? Does he somehow communicate with them better or more frequently than with you? 1
Author Conners Posted April 18, 2014 Author Posted April 18, 2014 How about asking for what you need and listening to the response? Results are not guaranteed, but still, you'll feel better if you approach this like an adult instead of "giving him a taste of his own medicine" etc. OTOH, if he is so illogical and unreasonable as to object to you calling others for rides when he is unreachable, well.......outlook for a great resolution is not there. You should never have to hunt your SO down like an animal to be able to talk to him. You say his mom and sisters always know where he is....how? Does he somehow communicate with them better or more frequently than with you? He lives with them and is usually at home. He is only 20, it's not like he is 30 or 40.
Cunning_Linguist Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 I'm just like this guy. I'm not the best with my phone but it's not a personal insult to everyone else. I guess it's a bit selfish but sometimes I go out and just forget to bring it. I bet when you two are together he focuses just on you and treats you well. It's a reflection of this that his phone isn't important, he is too focused on the moment on hand. At least, that's how I am. Growing up Buddhist I have this innate focus on the current moment. In the old days before cell phones, what did people do? They enjoyed where they were and let people get in contact when they could. If he doesn't respond then make plans to do something else. Don't do some passive aggressive stuff by ignoring his calls and texts. Just punish him by choosing to spend your time elsewhere if he doesn't respond in a timely manner. This will be more effective than ignoring or chastising him. Although I do agree that you should express again that it annoys you.
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