Pyro Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 This is the first time I've heard 80 people described as small and intimate. Your family is obviously massive. My first wedding was tiny by comparison. 35 people. It was in winter and the place had tons of candles, jewel tones and dancing. I loved it and so did guests. It was very low stress. Highly recommend lower numbers. My upcoming weddings are turning out to be logistical headaches. Our England wedding will have 50-60 guests over a three day period. Then we're having another celebration of 60-80 guests in California. It's exhausting! At this point, I feel like staying home and Skyping into the ceremonies. -_- Still waiting for my invitation to arrive 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 Is there going to be much of a time gap between the two? There's only a month between the two weddings. I want to cry. If I ever get married the bolded would be my ideal. Good luck Cerri! Thanks, ES!! Isnt it crazy??? I would personally consider 80 as a decent size but in the "wedding-world", it's considered "small and intimate"! I've been to many weddings where the guest count easily exceeded 100+. The worst wedding I ever went to was the largest. Easily 350+ guests. It was in a big ballroom in the City (San Francisco) and felt like a convention. If the theme was Uncomfortable Milling About, they executed it perfectly. Good luck deciding on your numbers. Again, I say go smaller. Still waiting for my invitation to arrive Expect two. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 (edited) Expect two. Sweeeeeetttttt! You aren't expecting gifts are you? I did find a crock pot down the street for 75 cents (after talking them down from 90 cents) at this garage sale I suppose that I could tie a bow around it and place it in the gift pile. Edited June 28, 2014 by Pyro 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Ours was small. We got married at a chapel and had a catered dinner at the clubhouse at my MIL's condo. Alcohol supplied of course. Then went to a bar afterwards in my wedding dress. I don't recall the number of people but couldn't be more than 50. My sister did the big wedding, she's now divorced 5 years later. Seems to be a running theme, same with my BIL and friends of ours had a huge wedding, are in debt and didn't even last a year. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 The Golden Rule always prevails at weddings: He who has the Gold makes the rules. Ha ha... I was going to take offense at this, but then I realized that at our wedding, we paid for it ourselves, and so as a result, we got to do it exactly the way we wanted. Precisely like you said! Our wedding - the ceremony itself, was family and attendants only - couldn't have been more than 15 people or so. Then we had guests arrive for the reception at a safe time after, and we had maybe 60 or 80. Going back to d0nnivain's point, I've always tried to figure out how we did it with relatively little stress and have it come out so enjoyable (and it truly was) and I guess that (maybe largely because we did pay for it ourselves) we had the total freedom to make it exactly what we wanted. Basically we wanted to have the ceremony with our families and a very few closest friends, and then we essentially threw ourselves the kind of party we knew we would enjoy. We were pretty much the last ones there, after most everybody else left, helping the caterer (who was a friend) do some of the cleanup, and although that may sound weird to some folks, it was a 'just right' ending to an awesome day. Even though that marriage is now over, and in the big picture, it cetainly had its issues, I still remember that day quite fondly. Link to post Share on other sites
SolG Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 I would do it on a beach by ourselves if I could do it over. It was big and unenjoyable. Elope. You are throwing a party for everyone else and you will barely remember any of it. I second this enthusiastically! My wedding to xH had about 150 guests, some of which I'd never even met and haven't seen since. IMO weddings are a colossal waste of money and pain in the a^%e. NEVER again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 My sister did the big wedding, she's now divorced 5 years later. Seems to be a running theme, same with my BIL and friends of ours had a huge wedding, are in debt and didn't even last a year. I think big weddings are for showing off, often. Perhaps when you have a wedding for other people, priorities should be questioned. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 I think big weddings are for showing off, often. Perhaps when you have a wedding for other people, priorities should be questioned. True... But I think its more that the family/parents are the one's wanting to put on the show... My wedding cost 40 grand in 1990..Serious money for that time...Paid by the inlaws family..It was magnificent and everyone still talks about it...But the stupidity of it is that when we got back from the honeymoon and paid off all the bills, we were left with about 3 grand to start our lives with.. .I'd have rather they gave us the 40 grand and we used that on a house down payment and spent a few grand on a tent and some catered food and a DJ... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
georgia girl Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 We had about 80 guests. Got married outside in a beautiful venue overlooking the hillside for miles. Because our reception was small, we were able to cater a high-end meal and did a wine/food pairing prior to the wedding to select the wines. (We also added craft beers from a local brewery.) Added in live music from a local band, some really fantastic weather and it was the time of our lives. In the end, we invited mostly friends and little family - I come from an absolutely huge family but we've all grown mostly apart. My husband is from out of town and many of his family couldn't come. So, I drew a line in the sand and said immediately family only. It was the only way to do it fairly and well for everyone. I made the flower arrangements for the tables, the bridal bouquets and boutonnieres. My husband and I planned the wedding ourselves and I even found bridesmaids dresses at $70 apiece (on clearance) so my bridesmaids didn't go broke being in the wedding. It was everything I absolutely could have wanted. My advice? Take a few moments in the day and step away from your guests to where you and your husband have a vantage point and can see all the activity. Remind yourselves that this is for you and enjoy the moment that you become man and wife. We did that and I can tell you that to this day, I remember that moment and it is truly the highlight of my life. Best wishes, GG!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 It was everything I absolutely could have wanted. My advice? Take a few moments in the day and step away from your guests to where you and your husband have a vantage point and can see all the activity. Remind yourselves that this is for you and enjoy the moment that you become man and wife. We did that and I can tell you that to this day, I remember that moment and it is truly the highlight of my life. Your entire post recalls so much the same spirit and philosophy of our wedding, which was also a life highlight for us. It's so good to hear that it can work out so beautifully. I think in both our cases, it largely boils down to: my spouse and I had control, and we did what we wanted to do. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Our wedding in August will consist of 9 family members AND THAT INCLUDES the wedding party! Total wedding under $2000! Whoop whoop! Lot more money left over for awesome honeymoon to Bahamas! Link to post Share on other sites
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