zhaulk Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 So I'm a 24 year old male who was recently dumped by his 21 year old fiancee (on Thursday). We lived together almost two years, and we were engaged for around 7 months. We've had a lot of rapid changes in our lives lately. Our car broke down, and we had to get a new one, shortly after the radiator busted and we had to fix it. She recently got a new job as assistant manager, and also another promotion for a separate job in the same company. For the span of our relationship she's always been a very warm affectionate person. If we ever had an argument she would always get upset and express how important it was not to lose me, and that I was very important to her. We've been almost attached to the hip the entire time we have been together, and just a week ago she was talking to someone about how she's excited to marry me. Then on thursday, we got in a fight because she didn't let me know where she was, and I was worried about her. I was a jerk in the argument, because I was so worried about her. That's when she broke up with me, telling me that for the last two months she hasn't been happy. She says she doesn't know if we are going to get back together, and that she loves me and cares about me, but she doesn't feel the same way about me anymore. She says she needs space, and that she wants to be friends, but she just needs some time to think about things, and see where we are. However she wants it to be clear that we are broken up and not "on a break". Now a couple of things to note: 1. This is extremely sudden. Just the day before, and even earlier in the day, she would text me "I love you!" and "I miss you baby!". She told my sister rougly a week ago that she couldn't wait to marry me. 2. Her reasons for our break up are very vague. She says that she doesn't feel the same way about me anymore. She says we aren't right for each other, that we want different things (with no explanation of what those things are), and she says she needs space. 3. She says she doesn't know if we are getting back together, and that she's saying that so I won't get my hopes up, in case we never get back together. 4. She's been hanging with people that just a week ago, she didn't like. People she never hung out with before until after we broke up. She's started smoking again and going out more often. She told me she hasn't slept in 3 days and she's not eating very well. I also feel there are a few things I should mention. We both agreed we did not want to be engaged so fast, and she told me that she wanted to break up on good terms, because if one of us wants to get back together eventually, that we can, and we could start over fresh, by dating instead of being so serious. Although at the same time she told me she's not sure we are ever getting back together. I've been an emotional wreck, but I haven't contacted her since sunday. I'm trying to give her space. She is very important to me, and I want to at the very least one day be friends. Obviously I want her back, but I know that may not be in the cards. I read the grass is greener post, and I felt that this was almost identical to my situation. My question is, can anyone relate to me and maybe give me some advice on not feeling so lousy, and how to proceed? And..can anyone tell me if this sounds similar to G.I.G.S. or am I just crazy? Thanks so much, and please be gentle. I'm in a lot of pain.
johnson_j Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Honestly man it sounds like she might have met someone who interested her. She's young and from the sounds of it (started smoking again), probably immature. You're doing the right thing, lose contact with her. If you get back together it's on YOUR terms. My bet is that she will come around and act like nothing happened when it's convenient for HER.
Author zhaulk Posted April 16, 2014 Author Posted April 16, 2014 Thanks man. I think you're right. I feel like maybe she needs some maturing to do before we can really be together.
johnson_j Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Yeah it sucks doesn't it? To feel like you've found the one and are making progress only to be kicked in the gonads. But YOU keep the power now, she wants someone else, let HER have him. I've seen this story myself more times than I want to admit, both from friends and personally, and they ALWAYS come back as long as you take the high road.
Author zhaulk Posted April 16, 2014 Author Posted April 16, 2014 Absolutely. My plan is to just stay productive and let her do what she wants. I'm cool being single generally, I want time to figure things of my own as well.
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