CarbonCopy Posted April 15, 2014 Posted April 15, 2014 So I just started seeing this guy. We've been on 2 dates. He texts me first but then he barely talks! It bothers me but I don't want to seem like a clingy psycho after 2 dates. What does this mean? Is he even into me? I really like him so I'm just hoping he's really busy at work, haha.
mammasita Posted April 15, 2014 Posted April 15, 2014 What does he say when he texts? How does he "barely talk"
Under The Radar Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Call him on the phone. ^^^^^THIS^^^^^ Problem Solved.
Author CarbonCopy Posted April 16, 2014 Author Posted April 16, 2014 What does he say when he texts? How does he "barely talk" Like for example, on Monday he texts me with "How was your weekend" and I respond and ask how his was. It's short little texts back and forth like that but never for long. But like, why even bother texting me then if you really have nothing to say? Why should I call him, why can't he call me?
Vyliss Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Sounds like he's just lazy/bored and is hoping you'll be his entertainment.
Author CarbonCopy Posted April 16, 2014 Author Posted April 16, 2014 Sounds like he's just lazy/bored and is hoping you'll be his entertainment. Like sexual entertainment? LOL, I'm so confused.
Gaeta Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 He is trying to create a rapport with you but you don't seem to get it. He is showing his interest. Men have been taught if they are interested they have to text. He is making an effort, why do you say he has nothing to say, what do you have to say? You may be as boring as he is. If you explore different subjects you will find one that will get the conversation going but you need to make an effort as well. 2
Under The Radar Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 You cannot control other people ...... only your reactions to other people. If you are unhappy with communication between the two of you, then take a proactive stance to solve the problem. That could mean calling him yourself, explaining your preferred communication style on your next date, or walking away due to incompatibility.
Author CarbonCopy Posted April 16, 2014 Author Posted April 16, 2014 He is trying to create a rapport with you but you don't seem to get it. He is showing his interest. Men have been taught if they are interested they have to text. He is making an effort, why do you say he has nothing to say, what do you have to say? You may be as boring as he is. If you explore different subjects you will find one that will get the conversation going but you need to make an effort as well. Ok, I'll show you our convo from Monday -- Him: How was your weekend? Me: Worked Saturday and relaxed Sunday. And you? Him: Gymnastics, trampoline and bike riding lol Me: Very active lol. How's your day going? Him: Busy !!!!!have conference call at 4 Me: You mean you actually work? lol. Crazy here too, lots to do Him: Lol yes .... and I hate conference calls Me: Lol I hate stupid clients, had to deal with many of them today Me: What time do you go home Him: Not sure yet probably around 515pm Me: Lol thats my usual. Party tomorrow!! Him: Lol nice Me: We need it, too stressed. Ok I'm boring I'll let you go, have a nice night!! Him: You to I am still on my call lol Me: Long call lol And that was it. And none of these texts were like immediate responses either. So like I don't get it. Today I actually texted him first but he seemed busy.
Gaeta Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I am not sure I understand what is wrong with this? It's just touching base, most people do that. What would you want out of his text? or would you prefer no text at all?
Author CarbonCopy Posted April 16, 2014 Author Posted April 16, 2014 I am not sure I understand what is wrong with this? It's just touching base, most people do that. What would you want out of his text? or would you prefer no text at all? So does that mean he likes me? I mean I don't need essays or anything like that but I feel like I'm bothering him when I text him back! Do I sound dumb??? LOL.
Gaeta Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Yes silly it means he likes you lol He did initiate the texting and he seems enjoying the light convo. This is how you slowly create a familiarity with someone. You have a 3rd date set up?
Author CarbonCopy Posted April 16, 2014 Author Posted April 16, 2014 Yes silly it means he likes you lol He did initiate the texting and he seems enjoying the light convo. This is how you slowly create a familiarity with someone. You have a 3rd date set up? Ok. I actually texted him first today and it took him a couple of hours to finally respond to me but he did say he'd been running around. I was a little flirtatious this time because I'd been drinking (office party) but that's about it. I think I'll let him text first... No third date set up yet.
Gaeta Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Excellent, you do need to show your interest as well and you did that by initiating communication. Let him come forward next. It's only Tuesday evening so I am sure he doesn't want to appear too eager and ask for a date so early in the week. By tomorrow or Thursday he should mention something. Also, if he was the one asking you out for the 2 first date, nothing wrong in doing the invite yourself for the 3rd date.
J21 Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Ok, I'll show you our convo from Monday -- Him: How was your weekend? Me: Worked Saturday and relaxed Sunday. And you? Him: Gymnastics, trampoline and bike riding lol Me: Very active lol. How's your day going? Him: Busy !!!!!have conference call at 4 Me: You mean you actually work? lol. Crazy here too, lots to do Him: Lol yes .... and I hate conference calls Me: Lol I hate stupid clients, had to deal with many of them today Me: What time do you go home Him: Not sure yet probably around 515pm Me: Lol thats my usual. Party tomorrow!! Him: Lol nice Me: We need it, too stressed. Ok I'm boring I'll let you go, have a nice night!! Him: You to I am still on my call lol Me: Long call lol And that was it. And none of these texts were like immediate responses either. So like I don't get it. Today I actually texted him first but he seemed busy. Seems like he's engaging in light and humorous small talk, letting you know he's interested. Not sure what you want more exactly... And if he doesn't respond in 2 seconds, it means he's busy and not tied to his phone. Relax! Things are going well!
Author CarbonCopy Posted April 16, 2014 Author Posted April 16, 2014 Seems like he's engaging in light and humorous small talk, letting you know he's interested. Not sure what you want more exactly... And if he doesn't respond in 2 seconds, it means he's busy and not tied to his phone. Relax! Things are going well! Ok so I guess I'm just paranoid! Haven't been on a date in a long time so I'm out of the loop. Should I just keep going with it? ie let him text and keep the texts short and simple? I'd LOVE to see him again...
J21 Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Ok so I guess I'm just paranoid! Haven't been on a date in a long time so I'm out of the loop. Should I just keep going with it? ie let him text and keep the texts short and simple? I'd LOVE to see him again... Yes, def keep going with it! If he's texting you he's interested enough to think about ya! Like Gaeta said, if he doesn't initiate something by Thurs, call him and tell him you'd like to see him Fri or Sat. Nothing wrong with that! As a guy, if I was texting someone I was interested in, and she asked me out I'd be happy as clam
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Let's also not ignore the possibility that he's just a boring person.
Cunning_Linguist Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I don't really like texting much. Doesn't mean I'm boring, it just means I like to focus on and enjoy what I'm doing in real time, and that I'm busy. I'd prefer to have real relationships, not texting buddies. He is showing interest and responding to you. That's good. Tell him you enjoyed spending time with him, and ask to see him again. Some guys appreciate it when you honestly express how you feel and assertively go for what you want.
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I don't really like texting much. Doesn't mean I'm boring, it just means I like to focus on and enjoy what I'm doing in real time, and that I'm busy. I'd prefer to have real relationships, not texting buddies. He is showing interest and responding to you. That's good. Tell him you enjoyed spending time with him, and ask to see him again. Some guys appreciate it when you honestly express how you feel and assertively go for what you want. True. I'm not saying text convo's should comprise the backbone of a romance. Though texting can bring about good talks/stories. And sometimes people can illustrate certain things better through writing. So it can be a positive tool to use sometimes. I will say though - some people are just bad texters. And I've found instances where it translated to them having very dull personalities as well. If someone has no sense of humor or interests, they can sometimes be weeded out via texting.
Author CarbonCopy Posted April 16, 2014 Author Posted April 16, 2014 He is definitely NOT a boring person, LOL!!! I mean I don't know him THAT well but from what I do know he's not boring. He's MUCH better in person so it really is possible he's not good at texting and/or too busy during the day. So I guess that's ok. I like that he's been texting me first, which I think is a good sign??? LOL. So I guess I shouldn't be reading so much into this??
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 He is definitely NOT a boring person, LOL!!! I mean I don't know him THAT well but from what I do know he's not boring. He's MUCH better in person so it really is possible he's not good at texting and/or too busy during the day. So I guess that's ok. I like that he's been texting me first, which I think is a good sign??? LOL. So I guess I shouldn't be reading so much into this?? Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it. Him initiating is a good sign. And he might just not be into texting as much as talking or face-to-face time.
Cunning_Linguist Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 He is definitely NOT a boring person, LOL!!! I mean I don't know him THAT well but from what I do know he's not boring. He's MUCH better in person so it really is possible he's not good at texting and/or too busy during the day. So I guess that's ok. I like that he's been texting me first, which I think is a good sign??? LOL. So I guess I shouldn't be reading so much into this?? Yeah you shouldn't. Judge him based off his real life persona. He is probably just like me and is old skool.
Cunning_Linguist Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 True. I'm not saying text convo's should comprise the backbone of a romance. Though texting can bring about good talks/stories. And sometimes people can illustrate certain things better through writing. So it can be a positive tool to use sometimes. I will say though - some people are just bad texters. And I've found instances where it translated to them having very dull personalities as well. If someone has no sense of humor or interests, they can sometimes be weeded out via texting. Some people are bad texters, and awesome in real life. My point is, don't judge someone just based off how they text.
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