Storm_Chaser Posted April 15, 2014 Posted April 15, 2014 (edited) I turned 29 last Friday. My ex-girlfriend calls me and tells me "happy birthday" and that she's still in love with me...6 months after I went NC with her. (We had been broken up for years, but would occasionally get back together and the whole time she would tell me how much she loved me and then I'd find out she was seeing her ex.) She was extremely emotionally abusive. That relationship very literally about killed me. I went weeks without eating, barely showering, throwing up stomach bile. I mean, it was bad. However, because of my being severely depressed, because of my recent breakup with my ex-boyfriend (yes, I switched to men after her because she was that bad and he was that charming), I unblocked her from facebook. I thought about messaging her a "thank you" for calling on my birthday, but I didn't, because I don't want her back in my life, so I was going to reblock her after the 48 hour rule. Well, she must have noticed I unblocked her, so she messaged me, saying, "I LOVE YOU!!!" And posted two pictures of me--one of her and I. This happened on the same night I found out my ex boyfriend (the more recent of the two) that I was practically living with and in love with, who was telling me the woman in SC was just his "buddy" initially and then changed his story to "she's just getting older and becoming desperate--I love you I want to be with you, even though she has age and money over you." THAT same man--who told me how MADLY in love with me he was just two months ago--THAT man is now engaged to the "desperate bitch," as he referred to her. Engaged to her. She is flaunting the ring, talking about the dress, she's practically moved here from SC and she's trying to befriend MY friends and he's taking her to all of the places he took me or said he wanted to take me. Everything he said he would do with me, he's doing with her. I feel old--my eggs are drying up. I don't even want kids right now, but I feel it, you know? I'm so depressed about my life right now and the fact that the two people I've loved most in my life have been the two people who have blatantly disregarded my feelings and totally disrespected me. Why can't people just be honest? I never lied to either of them, but neither one could tell the truth to save their life. They're both cowards, mean-spirited and users. What the hell is wrong with people?! I'm so tired of being here. I'm tired of putting my love in faith in humanity, when it seems like the majority of people are materialistic, superficial egocentric *********s. Okay, maybe not the majority--I know a lot of good people--but the people I fall in love with definitely are. And maybe the fault is mine for somehow unconsciously picking the worst of humanity to give my heart and myself to, but either way--be it their fault or mine--I don't want to be here any more. I don't see a point in living this life, if this kind of bull**** is what it consists of. The only reason I get out of bed in the morning is because I have to go to work. The only reason I haven't killed myself at this point, is because my mother would be destroyed and I keep waiting it out, thinking things will get better. But they don't. I'm about ready to message this woman and let her know every terrible thing he ever said about her to me--and he said a lot of hurtful ****. But then that would make me no better than either one of them and I'm sure she could retaliate with all the **** he's said about me. I can't keep doing this. I need some insights, cause I'm about ready to lose it. Edited April 15, 2014 by Storm_Chaser
PinkInTheLimo Posted April 15, 2014 Posted April 15, 2014 I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so sad, but I also understand why you are feeling this way. I think for starters that you should build up very firm boundaries towards these two people, who seem to be extremely volatile and selfish. This ex-girlfriend of yours has no business telling you "I love you" unless you are actually in a relationship. You are not so she should leave you alone. Block her so that she cannot contact you any longer. I think you are probably someone who sticks to your partner through thick and thin, and while that is as such a good characteristic, it sometimes makes you stay too long in an unhealthy relationship. You are only 29, your life is far from over; I am sure it still has some wonderful things in store for you. The best thing is to try to be happy on your own, without a partner. That will help you not to totally lose yourself in a relationship and not jump head over heels in it. I know what I am talking about because my heart has been broken several times. About my last partner I sometimes say that he did not only break it, no, he tore it out of my body and then went on to trample on it. There are indeed a lot of liars out there, I have no clue why they do this and I am not entirely sure how I can at the same time open up towards someone and still protect myself. My plan is to take my time to get to know someone first as friends. And also to break off the relationship as soon as there is any lie or lack of transparency. Easier said than done of course...
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