One-sided distance

[TAV]

I'm a modern woman and make my own money, raise 2 kids practically only my salary but the thing about you paying for your stepchildren is really bothering me.

 

Like someone said here; it's the parents' obligation to look after them. I'd really like to know why you feel you have to do that. Is that maybe also the reason why you feel so frustrated about his unwillingness to move/him admitting he does not want to move. You feel you are sacrificing so much and he is not willing to meet the one term you had?

 

Do you feel taken advantage of? A money making machine who has to be good and smile when you are together while you are hurting inside?

 

You are a strong woman providing for your own 4 kids the way you do. You should not have to put up with this bull**** and sleep alone all week.

 

And not getting any footrubs after a long day at work either

[Sam44]

Hi NoBSBuddhist (and all). Thanks for thinking of me (and the mantras). Once again I find myself in the trap of not wanting to cause an explosive situation and just dripping my feelings out, bit by bit but without really screaming our what's inside. Trying to find the right moment. We are spending a few days together and because I have some practical things to arrange that he needs to be involved in, I find it hard to just let it all out...because then I have to hang around and face him after and still get on with the practical obligations, which I can't avoid. Well, maybe there's never a good time. I'm doing my best.

[TheNoBSBuddhist]

There is only the Present Moment, and you need to sit with your feelings;

You need to get to the bottom of this fear.

How much of it is fear of causing an explosion, and how much of it is fear of being alone?

 

Because there is no fear in being alone, because you are not.

being 'Alone' is completely different to feeling Lonely.

 

With regard to hurting his feelings and causing an explosion - remember that he has no such qualms.

Upsetting you and refusing to 'keep his side of the bargain' hurts you.

But he is oblivious to that, because what he wants is different.

And what he wants is clearly far more important to him, than anything you could want.