endlessabyss Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Was pretty legit/fun. Went out to drink for a few hours, then walked around and talked. Girl was pretty cute too. Don't plan on making any further contact, or trying to schedule another date. Overall, I had a blast. Most fun I had in a while. (don't know why I decided to post this lol)
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 If you had such a good time, why no further contact?
Author endlessabyss Posted April 14, 2014 Author Posted April 14, 2014 If you had such a good time, why no further contact? Good question. I guess I'm not really looking for anything serious right now. I love meeting new people, and want to test the waters still. Everything clicked really well last night though. Euphoric would be the word I'd describe it as lol. That may sound a little too strong, but we were a great match. Had very similar values, and just had an overall great vibe together. Hopefully my dates in the future will pan out the same way.
Mrin Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Don't want to talk you into something you don't want to do but I wouldn't be so quick to go one and done with her then. There is no reason you can't date other people at the same time you are getting to know her. 1
Stay Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Don't want to talk you into something you don't want to do but I wouldn't be so quick to go one and done with her then. There is no reason you can't date other people at the same time you are getting to know her. I agree with this but at the same time I understand where the OP is going since he might not want to deal with the issue of stopping her from liking him or seeing other people either. Personally I'd continue to date her and keep dating others since it's fairly normal for people to do that so you're not going to be doing anything wrong.
ja123 Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Don't plan on making any further contact, or trying to schedule another date. I guess I'm not really looking for anything serious right now. I love meeting new people, and want to test the waters still. So, I hope your profile states that you are only looking for one-off dates and aren't serious. Otherwise, you might unintentionally get people's hopes up when there's not a chance in hell with you. That's cruel. If all you want is to meet new people then do some volunteering, or join meetup(dot)com ... not a dating site! 6
Author endlessabyss Posted April 14, 2014 Author Posted April 14, 2014 Thanks for the suggestions. If she were to get in contact with me again, I would definitely go out with her again. But, I think I'll leave the ball in her court on this one. Even though we had a really awesome night, that still doesn't indicate to me that she would be interested in a sequel. If she were to reach out in the future it would give me a better picture of how she felt. Until then, I'm going to keep enjoying the single life. I'm in my late twenties right now, and don't have any real plans of looking for anything serious until early/mid thirties.
Author endlessabyss Posted April 14, 2014 Author Posted April 14, 2014 So, I hope your profile states that you are only looking for one-off dates and aren't serious. Otherwise, you might unintentionally get people's hopes up when there's not a chance in hell with you. That's cruel. If all you want is to meet new people then do some volunteering, or join meetup(dot)com ... not a dating site! Love the thrill of going on dates with new people though!!! But all suggestions will be taken into consideration. Thanks for the feedback.
Stay Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Love the thrill of going on dates with new people though!!! But all suggestions will be taken into consideration. Thanks for the feedback. You do but for the sake and consideration of others you don't want to keep hurting people either and give them false hopes of having such a great date but no second, etc. You see many threads of people randomly disappearing, it's a little wrong to do that. At least let people know so they can move on since most girls will not contact you for a second date 5
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Good question. I guess I'm not really looking for anything serious right now. I love meeting new people, and want to test the waters still. Everything clicked really well last night though. Euphoric would be the word I'd describe it as lol. That may sound a little too strong, but we were a great match. Had very similar values, and just had an overall great vibe together. Hopefully my dates in the future will pan out the same way. But, but.. You could go on multiple dates and that doesn't mean it has to become serious.. I think this person made for a decent date, but you weren't completely interested.
soccerrprp Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 I suspect the date didn't go as well as the OP wants us to believe. He "may" have thought it was a blast, but his date may not have. If it was so blissful, why not ask again for another date? Perhaps it's b/c he's not certain that SHE felt the same way? 1
Succession Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 You see many threads of people randomly disappearing, it's a little wrong to do that. At least let people know so they can move on since most girls will not contact you for a second date Do you feel that that if a man isn't interested in seeing a woman for a second date, he has to proactively let her know? That it's not enough to politely decline if she asks him? I disagree. If a woman (or anyone) wants to be asked out rather than do the asking, that's her right, but she is certainly not entitled to know that he doesn't want to see her again unless she asks.
Keenly Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Please explain to me, why exactly are you dating, online or otherwise, if you have no intention of looking for anything? OLD is FULL of people, men and women, with this attitude and to be honest, it wastes everyones time and energy. What do you get out of this? Why continue to search for more girls that you have no intention of going out with again? Online dating is for people who are LOOKING for something, whether thats some casual fun, or something serious. Why contact people who have a goal in mind only to hang out for 2 hours and then part ways? 5
HappyLove Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 I hope you remember this post when you're mid thirties and balding and no woman gives you the time of day. Women aren't on a dating site to be your time filler or whatever the heck you're doing. How about you take up a hobby one that doesn't involve playing with people's emotions. 2
Joaquin Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 OLD is for dating, not wasting a girls time by having no intention to date and then gushing about how great it was to waste her time. Sounds like you need a few buddies to hang out with.
deathandtaxes Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 OP - you are a knob. This is a complete douchebag move and you know it! Go on a great date with a chick with no intentions of getting serious? I think you need to check out your priorities, son. 2
spiderowl Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Thanks for the suggestions. If she were to get in contact with me again, I would definitely go out with her again. But, I think I'll leave the ball in her court on this one. Even though we had a really awesome night, that still doesn't indicate to me that she would be interested in a sequel. If she were to reach out in the future it would give me a better picture of how she felt. Until then, I'm going to keep enjoying the single life. I'm in my late twenties right now, and don't have any real plans of looking for anything serious until early/mid thirties. Seems like you had fun but no special bonding so can't be bothered doing more. That's fair enough. Best not to go after someone you don't feel at all attached to.
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 I'm going to defend the OP against those who are calling him out for "wasting a poor girl's time." OLD-ing doesn't mean you owe anything to the other person, time-wise, money-wise, or commitment-wise. Hell, even if OP wanted to use OLD-ing solely for just ONS, then that's their choice. There's no right or wrong way when it comes to dating style. 1
Mrin Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 A few more thoughts: Look, there is nothing wrong with what you are trying to do. You are just doing it all wrong. 1. As a man, the gentlemanly and correct thing to do would be to shoot her a note or a call thanking her for her company and just letting her know that you don't want to move forward. She's waiting for contact from you - the man. Act like one. If it had been a bad date, no outreach from you required. This is a humane move. 2. You better not have long term dating checked on your profile. 3. You might want to discuss on your dates what you're looking for and just level with them. Preferably ahead of time. 4. You really should get off of POF, OKC or Match and use Tinder if this is what you're interested in. 5. You better have picked up the tab on your "date". You kinda seem like a predatory douche who misleads women (by commission or omission) and takes pleasure out manipulating them to bolster your fragile ego. Something you need to understand is that this woman may have quite possibly pushed off another guy (who actually wanted to date her), spent time getting ready, quite possibly spent a decent amount of money on clothes or jewelry or a haircut specifically for this date. She is now watching her phone, talking to her friends, reverse analyzing every single word she said at your date trying to figure out what she did wrong. If you get your jollies off of that, then you are a spineless boy who deserves to be absolutely leveled by a woman some day. Clean up your mess and move forward by doing it the right way. 1
BlueIris Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Please explain to me, why exactly are you dating, online or otherwise, if you have no intention of looking for anything? OLD is FULL of people, men and women, with this attitude and to be honest, it wastes everyones time and energy. What do you get out of this? Why continue to search for more girls that you have no intention of going out with again? Online dating is for people who are LOOKING for something, whether thats some casual fun, or something serious. Why contact people who have a goal in mind only to hang out for 2 hours and then part ways? Amen to that. I hope OP is very clear that he isn't looking for a relationship. I've heard people say that they check the box for relationship in order to "look better" and appeal to a certain group. That I have a real problem with. There's a heck of a lot of lying on OLD as it is. But maybe OP is being very straight forward.
FitChick Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 I think he had beginner's luck. From now on, every date, if he can even get one, will be horrible and he'll be pining for this woman. She will have found someone else thinking OP wasn't interested. Join a hookup site.
Khyla Posted April 15, 2014 Posted April 15, 2014 ...Something you need to understand is that this woman may have quite possibly pushed off another guy (who actually wanted to date her), spent time getting ready, quite possibly spent a decent amount of money on clothes or jewelry or a haircut specifically for this date. She is now watching her phone, talking to her friends, reverse analyzing every single word she said at your date trying to figure out what she did wrong. sorry but this just made me LOL! Especially because if I were the girl he went out with no way did I or would I do any of that! lol. I'm sorry but I can appreciate the OP's post for what it is, WITHOUT criticizing. I went on MY first Online Date last Thurs. It was quite awesome! after 2 beers I couldn't believe I opened up to him enough to admit that I "rubbed one out" before I went on the date so I wouldn't be too tempted to bring him home with me. So what did I do after that? yup! Awesome sex! Loved every second! So now I know we are compatible THAT way even if we arent in other respects. lol. He was astounded by it too! I sent him a simple text message the next day; "Still smilin'? I am! :)" he replied with something cute, Yes, even his co-workers mentioned that he came bouncing into work. I'm still smilin thinkin about it, but I wont feel devastated if I dont hear from him again. If he wants to get together again I dont think I'd turn him down. Only problem I have with contacting him for more is that he sounded like he is looking for a relationship, and he mentioned that he starts to have feelings for a person after hanging with them for a bit. I'm not sure what I'm looking for right now and I dont want to break anyone's heart either. My profile states I'm looking to "Hang Out"
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