Went on date with girl from OLD...texted next day, & haven't heard back

[topaMAXX]

Man you guys make me feel like I have killer game lol

 

I've tongue kissed every single girl I've gone out with on an actual first date since I became single in December. Banged 2 on the first date, 2 on the second date and have had zero fails with my technique on the first date kiss, even if I got bored of them and deleted their number later. All of them in the 30-40 age range.

 

Wouldn't be so sure about that, chief, based on your other thread.

 

And hooking up with girls in their 30s is not that impressive. Let me know when you start hooking up with girls in their early 20s with this type of consistency. Then I'll be impressed.

[Marks]

Your mistake (that you can learn from) is that you didn't kiss her at the end of the date. So shes probably not sure if your interested, or not sure if you have the kahunas that she wants.

 

Well, I think I've already shown that I'm interested...now it's a question of whether I have the kahunas Sounds like the common opinion is that I need to land a kiss pretty soon? I'll admit that physical intimacy and initiation of it has always been my biggest obstacle, so in the past I've been hesitant to make the move due to a fear of rejection. It takes me a loooong time to get to the point where I would feel like the girl would accept a kiss, although it would probably take a very special girl for her to want to wait that long, lol...other girls would probably get tired of waiting and would move on to other guys who would take the initiative.

 

I totally get what you guys are saying, and if I were a girl, I'd probably want the same thing, whether on the first or the second date, but I dunno...I just imagine it coming out super awkward on my part. I'm not exactly the most experienced kisser out there (gosh, I hope she's not reading any of this, haha).

 

And this might be a dumb question, but where exactly would you kiss? Let's say that we're exiting from a restaurant and onto the street...do I try to kiss her in front of the restaurant? With everyone in the restaurant patio and people walking by all around us? Or do I offer to walk her to her car and try to do it there?

 

During the date with this girl, we just ended up hugging in front of the restaurant entrance, which didn't seem like the most conducive spot for kissing. Then we parted ways because our cars were in opposite directions...although I could've offered to walk her to her car.

 

Stop with the cheesy "how was your weekend/day nonsense?" Ask her out to a specific event at a specific time and get your response. Simple.

 

Haha, well thank you for pointing out that phrase as being cheesy...I don't think that I would have known otherwise :/ But yes, I agree with the specific time and place deal. I've been trying to get better at being less vague and more in charge, and I think I've been improving in that regard.

[ktya]

Take her for a short walk when you leave the restaurant. Find a wall or flat surface in a semi but not totally occluded area. Hug her and walk duckstep to the wall until her back is against it. Then holding her move your left hand up to the nape if get neck and linger your hand there, gently don't grab it. Then move in for the kiss gently and slowly. If she's receptive gradually get more passionate, and back off once you feel her hesitate.

 

If you want to go for a home run put her hand on your junk after you've been making out for no less than 7 minutes. Works every time. Don't blame me if you have a great time. :-P

[Babolat]

47 year old man here, and with one exception, in the past 3 years, I have never kissed a woman on the first date. And in all cases where I was interested and contacted them post 1st date/meet up, we went out again. This whole "kiss them thing" to me, is BS. If it's a;ll about the kiss, the physical, well then that's about what you will get moving forward, no real LTR potential IMHO.

[Marks]

47 year old man here, and with one exception, in the past 3 years, I have never kissed a woman on the first date. And in all cases where I was interested and contacted them post 1st date/meet up, we went out again. This whole "kiss them thing" to me, is BS. If it's a;ll about the kiss, the physical, well then that's about what you will get moving forward, no real LTR potential IMHO.

 

I guess that's sort of been my attitude up until now...I figured that if the girl were really interested, that she'd be okay with me not kissing her immediately. But it sounds like maybe that's not the case? Is it just the case that it's a fast paced world (especially for my generation) and I need to make moves quickly or otherwise I'll lose out?

 

Anyway, I went ahead and tried asking this girl out again. Myself, my friend and his girlfriend were planning on going to a baseball game this Saturday, so I figured I'd invite her to go with me. Unfortunately she said that she couldn't because she has family plans for Easter. In a way I feel kinda dumb now though...poor planning on my part to ask her out for this particular weekend because I should have realized that people might have plans for the holiday.

 

Anyway, I'm not sure if I came off looking foolish given my poor timing this time around, so I'm not sure if I should try asking her out one more time. Part of me thinks I should try one more time, but another part of me thinks that she's just not that interested.

[WP4046]

I always get rejected on OKC. I am so done with that site:lmao:

[WP4046]

Listen everyone, the OP was panicking because he doesn't have any other girl to compete with her at the moment. So no guy likes to fall back to the number 0 options. If he was already seeing 3 girls it wouldn't even matter when she replied because his mind would have been occupied.

 

 

I'm still at 0 and it sucks lol

[RamiTia]

As a female who has a lot of experience with OLD, and "rejecting" those dates, here are some pointers.

 

1. If you had a really great time, text her when you get to your car or when you get home. I get butterflies when I receive a: "Wow. You are a really great date." text. This has happened multiple times. If you say something non-committal and complimentary right that, I don't think it comes across as too eager. Just tell her she's great/incredible/smart/funny/attractive. It will at least make her smile. Wait to make the second date a day or so later, though.

 

2. If she didn't want to continue seeing you, she'd just never text you back. With OLD, you never have to see the other person again. It's low risk if you aren't interested.

 

3. But, since she did take a while to get back to you, proceed with caution. If she *really* liked you, nothing would hold her back.

[WP4046]

I guess that's sort of been my attitude up until now...I figured that if the girl were really interested, that she'd be okay with me not kissing her immediately. But it sounds like maybe that's not the case? Is it just the case that it's a fast paced world (especially for my generation) and I need to make moves quickly or otherwise I'll lose out?

 

Anyway, I went ahead and tried asking this girl out again. Myself, my friend and his girlfriend were planning on going to a baseball game this Saturday, so I figured I'd invite her to go with me. Unfortunately she said that she couldn't because she has family plans for Easter. In a way I feel kinda dumb now though...poor planning on my part to ask her out for this particular weekend because I should have realized that people might have plans for the holiday.

 

Anyway, I'm not sure if I came off looking foolish given my poor timing this time around, so I'm not sure if I should try asking her out one more time. Part of me thinks I should try one more time, but another part of me thinks that she's just not that interested.

 

why did you try to arrange for her to join you with other people when she is still getting to know you?

[RamiTia]

why did you try to arrange for her to join you with other people when she is still getting to know you?

 

I don't really think it's that big of a deal. It's lower stress when you're around other people and at a baseball game.

[organizedchaos]

I don't really think it's that big of a deal. It's lower stress when you're around other people and at a baseball game.

 

 

 

However, this would have been the second date? And already introducing to his friends? Too soon.

[Marks]

However, this would have been the second date? And already introducing to his friends? Too soon.

 

Yeah, I thought about that before I asked her...but I figured she might be open to meeting new people. I mean, I wasn't planning on introducing her as my gf or anything like that, but I can see how it could be misconstrued. Oh well, I figured that I'd take the risk.

[ktya]

I always get rejected on OKC. I am so done with that site:lmao:

 

It's not all bad.

 

I just had an 18 year old inbound me asking me to bang her in my suit. OLD is all about the pictures. Which, unfortunately you can't post. I was going to post a screen cap of the conversation

[WP4046]

It's not all bad.

 

I just had an 18 year old inbound me asking me to bang her in my suit. OLD is all about the pictures. Which, unfortunately you can't post. I was going to post a screen cap of the conversation

 

give me craiglist any day of the week

[cif]

I'm not actively dating ATM but if some guy pressed me against a wall and grabbed my neck I'd kick him in the groin. FYI

 

OP I don't think you should give up. She didn't reject a second date with you she just said she already has plans. I'd give it another shot date time event... If she rejects again then I'd call it quits. And like someone else mentioned you really need to continue looking until you're exclusive.

[organizedchaos]

Yeah, I thought about that before I asked her...but I figured she might be open to meeting new people. I mean, I wasn't planning on introducing her as my gf or anything like that, but I can see how it could be misconstrued. Oh well, I figured that I'd take the risk.

 

Lesson learned. You may have cone across as too clingy or invested too soon. Keep it light and no introductions to friends until it's clear you two are dating.

[mangetout]

OP go on other dates. She is not that into you. Kissing etc etc wont change that. She is taking her time to respond because she has other men lined up.

 

 

Your intuition is right.

[Lokie]

Marks, please take what you hear here with a grain of salt, including my post. These are only opinions. I found your original post to be quite sweet, honest and humble. These traits are catnip to my friends and me, so just continue to be yourself. AND you write well. Many women I know have been won over by well written emails, including me.

 

My OPINION is that I personally love a text right after I meet a guy. All women are different (I can't stress this enough!), but I personally like to be pursued. If I am not interested, I will let a guy know. But if I am interested, yowza, nothing sexier than a man with enough confidence to do what his heart tells him as opposed to what he is "supposed" to do.

 

Good luck to you. I trust you will have a lovely girlfriend in no time.

 

L.

Edited April 20, 2014 by Lokie

[Babolat]

However, this would have been the second date? And already introducing to his friends? Too soon.

 

The woman I met on OLD last month, we had 2 dates, then she was in the same area I was 4 nights later. She was attending a work function, I was out with friends, she texted met to meet real quick, I told her I was with friends and to come on over. It went very well. She could only stay for an hour. At first I thought "too early/too soon" but then figured she is so close, lets do it.

[Babolat]

Marks, please take what you hear here with a grain of salt, including my post. These are only opinions. I found your original post to be quite sweet, honest and humble. These traits are catnip to my friends and me, so just continue to be yourself. AND you write well. Many women I know have been won over by well written emails, including me.

 

My OPINION is that I personally love a text right after I meet a guy. All women are different (I can't stress this enough!), but I personally like to be pursued. If I am not interested, I will let a guy know. But if I am interested, yowza, nothing sexier than a man with enough confidence to do what his heart tells him as opposed to what he is "supposed" to do.

 

Good luck to you. I trust you will have a lovely girlfriend in no time.

 

L.

 

Same girl I mentiond above, texted me about 2 hours after we first met to state how much she enjoyed meeting me. I was going to wait before I replied, but said "screw it" and texted her right back stating the same, and stating I wanted to see her again. She replied "Yay, me too!" so we planned our next date.

 

Sometimes you just have to toss the rules, the games, out the door and go for it.

[RonaldS]

I'm not actively dating ATM but if some guy pressed me against a wall and grabbed my neck I'd kick him in the groin. FYI.

 

Mmmmm hmmmm. Unless you really liked him, which at that point, you would just melt in ecstasy.

[Marks]

Marks, please take what you hear here with a grain of salt, including my post. These are only opinions. I found your original post to be quite sweet, honest and humble. These traits are catnip to my friends and me, so just continue to be yourself. AND you write well. Many women I know have been won over by well written emails, including me.

 

My OPINION is that I personally love a text right after I meet a guy. All women are different (I can't stress this enough!), but I personally like to be pursued. If I am not interested, I will let a guy know. But if I am interested, yowza, nothing sexier than a man with enough confidence to do what his heart tells him as opposed to what he is "supposed" to do.

 

Good luck to you. I trust you will have a lovely girlfriend in no time.

 

L.

 

Thanks for the compliments and words of encouragement Lokie!

 

Although I'll admit that it's hard for me to feel optimistic about my chances at times, especially when all of your friends seem to be picking up gf's right and left, and you're still left single (I know, that statement smells of desperation, haha). I'm always left wondering what it is that I'm doing wrong...is it something about me? My appearance? My behavior? Or am I just going for the wrong girls? It'd be nice to at least have a shred of success to keep me going.

 

Anyway, I'm not sure what to do about this girl at this point. I haven't contacted her in about a week now, and I'm thinking that it's about time I get in touch with her again. Problem is, I figure I should ask her out to something specific again for this weekend (since week nights seem busy for her due to work), but unfortunately I'll be out of town for most of the weekend, so I'm not sure how I should go about doing this...

[Marks]

Well, looks like another one bites the dust...

 

I tried contacting her earlier this week asking about how her Easter went, but I've yet to hear back. I'm assuming at this point that she's not interested.

 

It's a shame too because I thought that I'd at least get another date or two. I had a pretty positive impression of her, but I'm thinking that she was just being nice and that she just didn't feel the same attraction.