Author jordanr1994 Posted April 17, 2014 Author Posted April 17, 2014 Im not using no contact to win her back at all. I understand what it is used for. When i have seen her she has said she has seen ive changed, even commenting that my ego has gone through the roof. Im back to my old cocky, cheeky self. I encouraged her to see this other guy. The whole way im acting has thrown her off, she doesnt understand why im not angry or upset with her. So saying i must look weak to her i dont think is true. Ive portrayed myself when i have had contact with her as unaffected by the breakup and confident. She was begging me to tell her if i was talking to other girls and dating (which i am).
GingerVixen Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 She is just playing. If she reallt wanted to be with you, she would have broken up with this guy already. Don't accept this.
KaliLove Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Im not using no contact to win her back at all. I understand what it is used for. When i have seen her she has said she has seen ive changed, even commenting that my ego has gone through the roof. Im back to my old cocky, cheeky self. I encouraged her to see this other guy. The whole way im acting has thrown her off, she doesnt understand why im not angry or upset with her. So saying i must look weak to her i dont think is true. Ive portrayed myself when i have had contact with her as unaffected by the breakup and confident. She was begging me to tell her if i was talking to other girls and dating (which i am). You encouraged her to date someone else? Why? This whole thing sounds incredibly immature.
Author jordanr1994 Posted April 17, 2014 Author Posted April 17, 2014 well not encourage, but i didnt beg for her to be with me or show that the new guy has effected me. I was just nice and wished her the best. I know she is worried about it and scared they arent going to work, as she has only spent a few hours at a time with him before. Im not hoping that they dont work so she comes running back to me. Im moving on.
Ordinaryday Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 I seriously don't understand how No Contact is confused by these people. It's a simple concept -- no contact. No gray area. while it is easy for experienced people to understand, you have to understand where they are coming from. they might be new to breakups and the concept of NC and THEY WANT THEIR EX BACK and they are not familiar with the concept of what a 'breadcrumb' is. so they look at ANY CONTACT, ANY WHATSOEVER, from their ex, no matter how minor, as their ex potentially saying they want them back. of course this is very rarely the case, but it gives them all kinds of false hope. the best advice I got was - change your number, email, block her on fb, etc. then you dont need to worry about getting a breadcrumb from the dumper because EVEN IF THEY WANTED TO SEND YOU ONE THEY WOULDNT BE ABLE TO.
TaraMaiden Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 while it is easy for experienced people to understand, you have to understand where they are coming from. they might be new to breakups and the concept of NC and THEY WANT THEIR EX BACK and they are not familiar with the concept of what a 'breadcrumb' is. Which is why, like a stuck record, I urge everyone to read the No Contact Guide. It's in my signature, it's the signature of other members, and very easy to find.... so they look at ANY CONTACT, ANY WHATSOEVER, from their ex, no matter how minor, as their ex potentially saying they want them back. This is not ignorance (of the Guide) this is desperation, and often a refusal to acknowledge or believe that this could possibly apply to them.... of course this is very rarely the case, but it gives them all kinds of false hope. Hope: One letter away from Hype, and with a big fat 'zero'..... Honestly, we do try to be kind and tell them gently, but sometimes their blinkered obsession with proving everyone wrong is frustrating.... the best advice I got was - change your number, email, block her on fb, etc. then you dont need to worry about getting a breadcrumb from the dumper because EVEN IF THEY WANTED TO SEND YOU ONE THEY WOULDNT BE ABLE TO. You'll find that's also in the Guide..... promote that advice all you can, every chance you get.
Author jordanr1994 Posted April 18, 2014 Author Posted April 18, 2014 just deleted her mobile number and on facebook, instagram and snapchat. While in my 4 weeks contact i actually gave my facebook password to a friend and she changed it so i wouldnt be tempted to look her up. That helped loads. She keeps texting me and telling me the same stuff. Just got to learn to ignore it.
TaraMaiden Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 Now that is attention seeking. She's needy, isn't she? You can download a text-blocker too... they're relatively inexpensive, or you may find a FOC one. but do it. it saves a lot of anxiety, and helps your will-power no end...
Author jordanr1994 Posted April 19, 2014 Author Posted April 19, 2014 Mutual friend has told her to stop contacting me. Her new boyfriend is coming down on wednesday before they go back to uni for a month. Im sure the texts will stop till they break up or we come back home. He will be staying in her bed, which she still calls ours. Makes me sick. The more i think about it, the less i want her back which can only be a good thing in helping me move on
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